How do the elders know if you are truly repentent? (page 4)

hotchocolate

Oops wrong thread. But yeah, I agree. They're pretty much clueless. :-)

BluesBrother

I sat on enough committees to know how flawed the system was .

Bottom line was that you listened , observed and formed an opinion ..Simple as that. There is also the group psychology thing whereby if the dominant elder, not necessarily the one presiding, comes down one way or the other, then the rest may follow.

We were told to look for signs such as , did they confess? did they try and deny it? how long before they confessed ? did they seem sorry over the action or just the consequences [ like the girl who said she was sorry about being pregnant but had never confessed to fornication]

It is just the obvious things really..Holy Spirit?? Don't make me laugh !

Human nature comes into the judgements . It helps if you are well known and liked. A newcomer who did not mix well with the cong is much more likely to get a harsh judgement.

BTW. the phrase "If we err, we err on the side of mercy" was certainly used in the Elders School sessions that I attended and the old maxim "our aim is to gain" (a repentant one) ....Judging by the reported decisions such as the one with U K paedo Michael Porter being not d/f'd - it seems they still follow it.

tan

You cry a lot and act as if you are the most helpless person in the world. Pathetic really...they are imperfect men just like we are. They don't know anything when it comes to really reaching out and helping people going through problems. They just judge you and cast you out. And if they don't like you your'e a goner regardless.

james_woods

I have seen the elders disfellowship one of my witness girlfriend's mother for drunkenness - and she drank no more than many of them did on an ordinary weekly basis. I don't think she ever did make it back in.

I personally know of an elder presently serving who has been PRd and DFd at least 3 times (sex with women each time), is on either marriage number 3 or 4, (all while supposedly a witness) and as I said - got reinstated and is serving as an elder as we speak.

shell69

I couldn't possibly have said it any better than diamond blue

Shell

sspo

The evidence was out there in writing that i was an apostate, 2 witnesses verified my apostasy,

BOE took my side and made decision i was not. I wonder whether the holy spirit was operating upon them ?

chickpea

already plenty of evidence has been proffered to prove that they have no special insights and have and will continue to make flawed decisions, display favoritism, give worthless counsel for real life circumstances..... more's the pity that people's well-being and self-respect often hang in the balance of the decisions made by these "gifts in men".... re-gift, anyone?

VoidEater

Nothing to add...

crazyblondeb

have known people personally who were doing just what you described, living a lie, faking repentence. And sure enough, they got reinstated pretty quickly.

I got reinstated real quick. A couple years before, they had swept the fact the my stepdad, a MS, was molesting me under the rug. So they didn't want me getting all bent out of shape. Only took me 3 months!!

After that, only took another couple of months to tell them to stick it...and get df'd again!!

How do the elders know if you are truly repentent?