I think I heard the word "intellectual" for the first time when I was less than ten years old.
My grandmother said to me that the Presidential candidate for the Democratic party (Adalai Stevenson) was an "INTELLECTUAL".
The way she said the word...the timbre of her voice...the look of admiration on her face...led me to believe this was a good thing indeed!
I think I may have asked her what the word meant, but, I don't recall exactly what she told me. Perhaps enough to confirm that this fellow Stevenson was a "thinker" of admirable stature.
Fast forward.
By the time my teen years came along there was a kind of dichotomy in society between so-called "eggheads" and common folk. The eggheads were INTELLECTUALS who were more interested in abstract navel-gazing than having a good time. It was the equivalent of the modern term NERD.
The consensus was that there was something vaguely pathetic about eggheads, nerds and intellectuals because they didn't seem to fit in with NORMAL people who knew how to have fun and have simple, ordinary conversations about ordinary things.
In High School, my straight A status was violated for the first time and the world didn't end! I discovered B's followed by C's and even the occasional F's!! I was free....Free...FREE!!
But, I was still attracted to "knowing things". I memorized the definitions of words. I recited poetry. I read non-fiction books that were "about" something. I read lots of junk---but--it made me feel I was wasting my brain......
The old feelings started to gnaw at me....the urges to learn...learn...learn lurked in the background.
I graduated from High School---the first person in my family to do so! I was liberated from the necessity of cramming my brain with facts and figures!
I was a Jehovah's Witness now, too. Being smart wasn't important at all! Being "active" was more important. Being obedeint and "spiritual" was important.
Soon, I qualified to give hour talks on Sundays before the Watchtower study.
My memory enabled me to wait until the night before the talk to work up the sermon outline and fill in the details!
I would add lib the connective tissue between canned power points. Rave reviews followed my sermons. I was slapped on the back and told I must have spent hours preparing!!
Yet, I knew....I was a closet intellectual!
As a Jehovah's Witness I was the worst form of parasitic individual: THE MIDDLEMAN! I was not an originator of anything new or improved--I merely transmitted things using my smarts--in order to polish the message to a high gleam and make it appear intelligent!
I was the wax on the apple and the food coloring in the junk food being sold door to door!
My thinking capacity was being crippled! Instead of integrating an ever increasing volume of connected information that applied to the Real World---I was cramming in non-facts about the Watchtower's history and how it fulfilled bible prophecy!
I was required to be IRRATIONAL and make it look smart!
In primitive societies there are no Intellectual leaders---there are only Witch Doctors. My only ambition in the Kingdom Hall would have to be learning how to be a Witch Doctor and toss the bones and poke the chicken livers for signs and portents!
A genuine intellectual applies workable philosophical strategies and improves life as a result of what they know. A PSEUDO intellectual parrots slogans, argues irrelevencies and coughs up cliche' responses to memorized situations.
I crippled my intellect and soon became so obedient I allowed myself to go into prison for two years defending an irrational "principle" which made absolutely no sense to me---yet I obeyed! (Refuse to perform community service as an alternative to military service)
I wasted Two years!
I crammed for those two years. I memorized the Society's explanations, beliefs, theologies and arguments, dates, chronologies, dispensational parallels and made it my ambition to be an EXPERT!
Alas!
When I was paroled back into the Kingdom hall----there was no need for my "expertise" at all!
No innovations are allowed. No great ideas are born at local levels, you see. No scholarly investigations can "improve" the FDS pronouncements.
You can parrot and regurgitate with conviction and erudition----but--you are merely a transmission belt and not an engine!
From time to time I met other brothers and sisters who were "bright", informed about the planet and about "real" history. They were remarkable thinkers eager as puppies to please their master!
I saw them come and I saw them go.
The went because they were oddities in an obviously NON-INTELLECTUAL religious atmosphere.
They annoyed the book study conductor. They asked precise and difficult questions. They answered back with "better" facts!
They were trouble and they were made to feel unwelcome.
I, myself, dazzled on purpose to attract attention. I couldn't help it. But, I was not permitted to make myself the center of attention. I was told to "tone it down" and be less of a "running ahead of the organization" type of publisher.
I began to fade....fade....fade.....
Eventually, I was called in (after not attending meetings for six months) and disfellowshipped for some reason they did not come right out and state (as I recall).
We all have similar stories, I'm sure.
There are so many bright, wise, sharp, gifted people here on JWD---the Kingdom Hall doesn't deserve such intellectually stellar members!
So, I ask you: ARE YOU AN INTELLECTUAL or not?
If not, why not?