FARTING at the meetings (page 4)

zev

this thread and its story bring me to near tears laughing so hard.

what a great -take a break and enjoy a good laugh- thread this is.

-Zev
We're on a roll!
Can you say...Squirm?

bigboi

'the phantom rasberry-blower of Irlam town'

corker

longun

Pure unadulterated hilarity!!!!!!!!!!!

ONE...

bigboi

DannyBear

Zev and Big,

You said it, man. So tired of all the serious BS, wanted to get in the mood for the holiday's.

Funny earlier this evening, there was a special on tv George Carlin...many of his comments were about farts. He had me lmao. His take on the ten commandments was just hilarious.

Happy holiday's to you all.

Danny

One hall I attended had cordless mikes and it must have been during a service meeting talk that had followed a Q & A session that the older brother carrying the mike( he must have slipped it into his pocket and forgotten) went to use the restroom. He must have been in flatulent agony because after a short burst of liquid, we in the audience kept hearing ooohhhhh and ahhhhhhh between every alternating burst of symphonic farting. Brothers quickly scrambled to kill the mike output at the sound console.

DannyBear

2yrs,

Did this poor brother pick up the indian nickname "Sits and Shits with Thunder"

Oh my, was he conspicuously missing from his microphone assignments for several meetings, thereafter? Talk about blushing...good lord!

DB

yrs2long

Ha ha Danny, that brother was properly humbled for years! By the way, Zev and Tammy, I think the worst farts are from a lactose intolerant person who eats ice cream. They can't break down the milk fat and therefore have no earthly business eating the durn stuff! When it comes out of them, it is in various stages of decomposition and you know right away that something went godawfully wrong in the process!

Tammie

yrs2long, I sure hope I don't smelling any thing that like that.

Andee

OH-MY-GAWD! This thread has me in stitches!! My kids are giving me strange looks while I burst out in laughter at the computer screen.

Danny,

Except for the one or two alway's willing to show their machoness by willfully expelling hot air, just because a woman is present. You know the type, Iam sure.

KNOW the type???? My dear, I MARRIED that type! "Pull My Finger" is a common game my spouse plays to the delight of our children.

Tammy,

Notice he waited until AFTER you were married! Perhaps he figured you might have second thoughts!

For me, the worst is to be awakened from a sound, deep, sleep to a heavy, putrid, aroma wafting up my nostrils. A smell, that once it hits the air, expands like sponge dropped in water. If there were any microscopic critters in our bed, upon inhaling my spouses revolting butt bomb, they had surely met their demise.

Ok, I know this is off topic, but the hilarity of this thread has taken over my sensibilities.

yrs2long,

Too dang funny!!!!!

Andee

c5

LOLOL....too funny.

We had bookstudy at a brother's house. The bathroom was right off of the living room where we all were for the study. The door to the bathroom did not muffle out the noises, unfortunatly. My best friend at the time was very sick to her stomach. She had a sudden urge to use the bathroom during the bookstudy. She got up and went to use it. The older brother conducting the bookstudy was slower, and had lots of long pauses and gaps while he was conducting. A long pause ensued. The entire bookstudy was treated to hearing my best freind blow out the bathroom,,,,and we heard everything, my poor friend was very sick! No one could keep a straight face.

She eventually was able to laugh along with us a few months after her horror wore off.

Klaus Vollmer

better is a sound butt
than a sick mind
leaving a fart is better
than leaving the reality

when C.T. Russell stood up 1914 on October 2nd from his breakfast table he declared The gentile time have ended.
It was fully silent in the dining room
Then he made a great, trobone-like fart and said
This is the trombone of the beginning judgement.

Rutherford stood up and tried to fart too
but his ass stood silent
Russell turned to him , declaring that
a discreete slave always has good pressure
in the tubes
and made another stinker that the crew fled to the printing machines

Later Rutherford came to Russell and asked him how could you be so sure to have that ability at the right time.

Oh my dear dont you read the bible. ancient isreal condemned the escape from egypt because they missed the onions in the wilderness.
thats my mosaic counsel: onions and garlic give you enough pressure to leave the sounds of judgement to the people.

From thereon the Bethelites cultivated onions in their wintergarden
and freddy france wrote his first booklet:

Babe Onion the Great has farted - Russsels empire strikes back

That came up to the government and led in result to the imprisonment of the leader-staff of the WTBS until they forwarded their mystery of farting

Today you find it imprinted in the uniform of the NY firemen:
Farting Department of New York (FDNY) because they are so powerfull like farting Rusell - blowing of the fire of onion roasters.

I guess this story will never end if I would not stop to write now.

fartfull greeting to the crew

FARTING at the meetings

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