For years college was a sore spot for me ...
My generation was the one that got out of High School just as the Society was starting to loosen up on their anti-college position. Within my group of peers at my KH there was only one young man that went on to college. However, he was given much grief by the Body of Elders, including one particular elder, J_H_, who was determined that this young brother not have any privileges while in school. The one thing that saved this young man was that father was an "unbeliever" and so he got by under that particular loophole. His mother, trying to save face in the KH, always spun the situation that her son was getting further education to be used later at Bethel. Of course, her expectation never met reality.
In High School I was in all of the college preparatory classes (except for math which I'm bad at); but I never gave much thought to college due to the prevailing atmosphere. The goal was always to get out early and pioneer and then consider Bethel service. (Not sure if it was my goal or my parents. It's kind of foggy in retrospect.) So I really worked my schedule to make this a reality and finished High School at 16, after my junior year. Regardless of my theocratic goals, around this time I started thinking about further education; because my teachers and counselors were giving this attention. I was pretty good at computer programming and had an interest in design so I had sent off for some catalog materials from a few different schools.
I remember when I had brought this to the attention of my natural dad, he pretty much squelched all hope at further education. He told me how this would put me at a disadvantage within the congregation, and spoke of Elder J_H_'s particular disdain for college. He then suggested that he knew that J_H_ made a good living as a welder and suggested that I look at attending a trade school for a year to learn how to weld. Well if you know me, you'd know that I'm not cut out to work as a welder and so my theocratic career began ... I took a loan from a sister, purchased a Dodge hatchback car from another sister, and got a Post Office cleaning job through another sister. All my ducks in a line, I began regular pioneering in the fall.
For a brief, fleeting moment I was a great big Theocratic shiny star – pioneer at sixteen, ministerial servant at seventeen. I had an assembly demonstration. (Young pioneer expresses to older brother that they are thinking of leaving the service. Older brother encourages teen to remain in Jehovah’s service and continue to pursue theocratic goals.) I still remember my concluding, dramatic line, “Thank you Brother H_! I’ll never quit pioneering!” My dad then had a District Convention interview where he emotionally expressed his joy at raising a son who was setting such a fine example as a pioneer and ministerial servant.
Fast-forward a bit...
With my younger sister, things were a bit different. Though the Society has loosened up toward further education, my parents’ attitude hadn't changed much. When my sister started to express an interest in art school my natural dad pushed for her to go to a trade school for architecture thinking it may lead to Bethel service. She loved school and wasn't going to accept "no" for an answer when it came to going to college. She ramrodded, the whole affair, filled out all the paperwork, got the loans, and left for University and went on to get a Master's Degree at another. As for me, I quit pioneering after going to pioneer school - opting out with the "well I gave it shot for a year" line. In real life, there was no older brother able to dissuade me from pursuing my new goal of marrying the girl I was dating. I married young, which was par for the course as far as my peer-group was concerned. In the beginning we had a rough time supporting ourselves. I was working as a roofer with my natural dad, but that work was hit and. When that career started to dry up I found out about a local warehouse job for a national company - working first as a forklift operator and then as a janitor.
At the time the warehouse was transitioning to some new systems. I had made friends with a lady who oversaw their IT department. She arranged for me to begin using some of my work time helping computer program and implement some of the new systems. There was even talk that one particular program I was developing could be used all over the country. This really made me feel pretty good and I felt like I was finally achieving something worthwhile. But my JW upbringing woke me up and messed up that dream.
Though I was performing work for the IT department, because I didn't have a degree they couldn't give me a full time job in that position. Officially, I had to maintain my janitorial job. At this warehouse there was constant friction between the Union employees and the Company employees. Because I was in the Union but spending half my workday performing work in the Company office I was seen as some sort of a traitor. I began to be harassed on the job; which peaked with someone smearing feces all over a bathroom for me to clean up.
I entered a pretty bad period of depression. I felt stuck with no way out in a hostile job. I was particularly angry with my parents for not allowing me to go to college. A kicker came from my younger sister was talking to my parents about me not going on to school and they responded by saying, "Oh, he never seemed interested in college." Selective-memory, it seems, is a genetic trait for long term Witnesses.
The silver lining is that my Heavenly Father has taken care of my needs in a beautiful way. After I lost my warehouse job in a strange turn of events (I don't believe in coincidences), I spent some time auxiliary pioneering while on unemployment. I can say that while the pioneering wasn't productive, the fresh change in environment was good for me. It was enjoyable to work with the brothers and sisters, and I was particularly encouraged by a pioneer elder. As my unemployment benefits ran out I hastily took a job opening for a local small business, which has turned out to be a wonderful blessing. Once I got my foot in the door doing construction (using skills I learned while working with my natural dad in home improvement) I was able to work my way up. I now enjoy a great position with the company, that takes care of my family's needs. More than anything else, I'm just happy to be able to be doing work that matches my abilities and personality, where my contributions are appreciated.
[In the meantime, Elder J_H_'s great welding job has been on the line for many years now and he is only been saved by his seniority with the company. (Perhaps Father is looking out for him as well.) I doubt, though, that I would have lasted.]
Sometimes, I think about what will happen if I ever lose my current job. I have some sense of security here, but I’m aware not to put my trust in such things. In this day, who really has true job security? I think about what it would be like to go look for another job. I have a great resume, but the education section is still anemic. I sometimes joke that if the question ever came up I would explain to my prospective employer how I was raised in cult that didn't allow further education, but despite that awful disadvantage, I've managed to scrape by in life.
In truth, I know that my Father will take care of my needs as Jesus has promised. As I look back I can see his hand at work in my life; and even now he continues to teach me how to trust in Him and be not be anxious when it comes to such matters. My anger over my situation has subsided and given way only to mild irritation when I read topics like this.
