letter from a supposed friend

by chellechelle 51 Replies latest jw friends

  • CoonDawg
    CoonDawg
    ya thx. by the way not my sister... my sister is younger and doesnt speak to me.. this is someone who calls herself my best friend... i thought best friends were supposed to llove unconditionally. but aparently a matter of religion is an overbearing condition that one cannot get past. oh and i know about the guilt that is all that anyone has said to me about the whole thing is how guilty i should be. as if the fact that others feel bad should be the determining factor in choosing a religion... i should make a way of life for myself because i might hurt someones feelings... that is not me..

    I had a good friend who eventually tried the same kind of crap with me. His wife was giving his 17 kinds of hell for communicating with me. So, I wrote him a letter that harkened back to some of the times in our relationship. Eventually, I told him "I always thought our relationship was more than a shared faith...that it transcended a common belief." I went on to recall specific times when I was there for him as a friend when other witness "friends" had abandoned him or had no advice to give him other than the empty scriptures they always fall back on. I then told him that it was his choice wether our friendship continued. I told him (in so many words) "when you get your head out of your ass and quit bing a morally superior prick, you know where to find me. I'll always be your friend."

    His cold shoulder treatment lasted about 2 months and then I got a letter from him apologizing and asking me to forgive his being such an a-hole. To this day, despite his wife's cautions of me being "bad association" he still calls me...especially when he's down or having marriage problems because as he's said I "really talk to him, not pointing to the bible or a WT publication".

    You never know, chellechelle, things can change with an individual.

    By the way, Welcome to JWD.

  • DaCheech
    DaCheech

    I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you stated:

    anyways, i am now effectively disowned by my mother ---lucky me--- and my father really just doesnt give a shit about anything.. not a jw but pussy whipped.. i dont understand how but u know what i mean... luckily the granparents are on my side.. completely and utterly.. this situation really has the makings for an interesting couple of months...

    so, I imagine it would be proper for you to ask your grandparents to disfellowship your mom!

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    chellechelle - welcome girl - want a pull from my helium balloon

    ah man - that letter was so horrid

  • chellechelle
    chellechelle

    wel my grandparents are my dads parents. but they have ... lol we are having this family barbecue near the end of the month my granparents dont want to even talk about my mom.. she syas she cant come because she cannot stay in the same room with me anyways.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Your grandparents have got it going on. Consequences. They are sending a subtle message to your mom that there are consequences for shunning, And it doen't all fall on the shun-ee. Go have fun with your grandparents!

  • keyser soze
    keyser soze
    It seems ungrateful to me that someone extended feelings of good will to you and you responded not only by making fun of her beliefs but by also calling her an idiot.

    That was my thinking too, until I read the part where she says it would be better if she had died. Why should this make her grateful?

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Congratulations on waking up and smelling the JW coffee!

    Are you really only 17?

    Can I give you some unsolicited fatherly advice?

    Two or three things jumped out at me that give me hope for your future, even though this is the first I've read about your situation.

    1. You've got the ability to write and interact intelligently with others. That will help you through many hurdles in life's journey.

    2. Your step-grandparents. I hope you appreciate how HUGE their support can be for you.

    3. (Distant third, BTW). Your boyfriend.

    4. Yet to be completed.......

    Education & career. Where are you on this?

    I hope your current relationship is the love of your life and that you eventually celebrate a 75th wedding anniversary together. But statistics say that probably won't happen.

    Give your relationship a healthy level of committment, but not at the expense of finishing your education and establishing your ability to make it alone in this world.

    OK. Dad speech over.

    Reading stories like yours is a combination of sadness over this F'd up religion but also great hope to see someone wake up young with a realistically good shot at having a great life.

    All the best to you.

    om

  • chellechelle
    chellechelle

    lol yes i am really 17...

    thx. i think this is the first truely encouraging post i have recieveed :) thx for your concern and guidence

  • digderidoo
    digderidoo

    Hi chelle

    Welcome to the board.

    More unsolicited fatherly advice here...

    I wish i had your "balls" when i was 17. At that age i started working part-time to pioneer, never went on to college, married young as most do. It looks like you really have your head screwed on. Just focus and concentrate on what you want to do and what you want out of life. It will take time to deal with the issues surrounded by your being df'd. But never let go of that focus and live your life how you want.

    Concentrate on standing on your own two feet, boyfriends may come and go, that said it sounds like you have a good one.

    Go out there and live that life of yours to the full, without all the WT b***sh*t.

    Thats my fatherly bit over.

    Welcome and hope you stick around.

    Paul (but to you Uncle Paul )

  • chellechelle
    chellechelle

    well thx unc... thats good advice asn yes i do have a good one...it is great to have someone who has gone through similar situation on your side. :)

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