Death of an Elder (page 3)

treadnh2o

"It could be evidence of many things.

Have you ever lost someone? How do you feel? Helpless?

Do you really think no one cared (ie lack of love)

Have you ever been hit with something so emotionally draining you had nothing to say? Did that mean you didnt care?

Have you ever been so hurt that you pretended nothing was wrong just to cope?

Do you really think that only one person cared? (ie had love)"

IP- I understand your argument, but as Mary just posted there are contributing factors that lead some of us to make blanketed statements that may be construed as being narrow sighted. This story only validates some of the feelings I have toward the organization, and while I don't believe nobody cared, I do believe that as a group their thinking is so twisted that when a situation arises that they have not been trained to handle. JW's in general stumble with their actions.

gymbob

In the last few years of being out and away from the witness world I've noticed a big differance between the way non-witnesses react to death and the way I was raised as a witness.

We all know about witness funerals in a kingdom hall sounding like a sunday sermon, never really mentioning much about the person who has past, but more about what that person believed and their hope for the future.

I believe witnesses, in general, don't know what to do, or how to react to death because of their belief system.

anewme

What Mary said is true. That JW brother is getting more sympathy and love HERE than he did at the kingdum hall.

dinah

Maybe all congregations are different. We lost an elder when I was about 12. He was like my grandfather in the troof. The meetings had such a darkness about them for a while, everyone was sooo sad. I can remember his wife sitting there on Sunday mornings with tears in her eyes.

The elder who stayed on my ass all the time had a heart attack at the DC about 4 years ago. It made me sad 'cos I always liked him (despite his zeal). Of course I didn't attend his funeral, but Mom said it was very sad. People loved him.

Sounds to me like the congregation was more in shock over this poor man's sudden death. I'd cut them some slack and let them grieve.

booby

The only thing that bugs me when I read things like this is the rhet·o·ric from the podium that they are "better" than anyone else at everything including comforting those who have suffered a loss to death, whereas the reality is that they are often less prepared. Couple that with the fact that they have had numerous Watchtower articles teaching them as well as a tract for special use in this regard, the elders in particular being trained, and it just shows that in real life they are not what they claim to be; better than anyone else.

Vinny

"What Mary said is true. That JW brother is getting more sympathy and love HERE than he did at the kingdum hall."

Threads like these give EX-JW's a bad name.

JW's die and other JW's feel the pain just as much as anybody else. Their belief in a resurrection soon gives them comfort and allows them to cope a little better than some. I was a JW for 15 years. I've experienced that pain and felt the pain and sadness of others left behind MANY TIMES.

But threads like this, trying to make all JW's appear heartless, is a different kind of pain... in a different location.

changeling

I'm sorry ya'll but I agree with nvr on this one. The shock of the situation was surely felt by all and everyone responds differently. JW's are a crazy, mixed up bunch but they do have feelings.

Now, of course, they do follow rules above all else. Those who were in the book study were probably dying to go outside and help the brother but were bound by duty. That is indeed a shame, but it does not mean they did not feel sorrow.

As for the sister dying at the DC and the program continuing on...if she had been at a concert or any other large event, do you honestly think the event would have been canceled??? I think not. "The show must go on" is not just a JW thing.

I'm in no way a JW apologist, but I don't think we should grasp at straws to attack them. They do enough crazy stuff on their own w/o anyone having to make up or exagerate anything.

changeling :)

BFD

I wonder what would prompt a 14 year old grandson to inquire about his Gramma, "Would it make gramma happy if I died?" True story after Gramma Coocoo turned her back on her family. In a way, the answer is, yes. But, of course she would prefer him to go volunteer for a publishing corporation to get his ticket to paradise.

I certainly don't lump all JWs together. And, I don't think the question makes all ex-jw's look bad. For many years after I was DF'd I looked at the dead ones as the lucky ones. They were going to get to come back. I was the one stuck here waiting for Armageddon and I would never see them again. I have mourned the loss of many.

BFD

dinah

BFD, that is sad. Now that you mention it, I always thought the dead ones were lucky too. Dying from a disease or an accident did sound better than facing the wrath of God for being such a sorry excuse for a person.

Gawd, I'm glad we can see past that now.

*hugs*

Mary

"What Mary said is true. That JW brother is getting more sympathy and love HERE than he did at the kingdum hall."

**** That's a bunch of BULL. And anybody buying it is full of the same. Threads like these give EX-JW's a bad name. JW's die and other JW's feel the pain just as much as anybody else. Their belief in a resurrection soon gives them comfort and allows them to cope a little better than some.

Unfortunately, it's not a "bunch of BULL". I'm not saying that Witnesses don't grieve or feel pain because they do. It's their reaction to death in many cases that's the problem. I remember the Bookstudy conductor telling the 'heroic' tale of a brother who went out in Service the day after his wife died. While to me, it's obvious the Brother was in shock, the point of the story was that you're not supposed to "grieve like the rest do". Witnesses are more than aware that if they show 'too much grief', they might be labelled as not really having faith where we are in the stream of time, or even in the resurrection itself.

I think death is a double blow for Witnesses because of course, we were trained to believe that we would never have to watch our parents grow old and die in this System.

There are countless horror stories of how people have been treated by 'God's chosen ones' when a loved one dies and it doesn't paint a flattering picture.

Death of an Elder

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