So are my JW friends really my friends - or not?

by BonaFide 46 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  BonaFide

  I am being investigated judicially, although weeks are going by without the elders saying anything to me about it. I still comment and give my talks.

  Anyway, some of my friends are getting word about me being investigated, some in my family too. A couple I used to preach with every week no longer call me and bug me to join them. Others that used to invite me to movies havent been calling me. I am getting weird vibes from a lot of my friends.

  But these are the same ones who have visited me when I was a missionary, they have laughed with me, we have gone backpacking together, vacations, fun. And some tough times too.

  Now they are acting strange towards me. The thing is, they feel that they are doing whats right, that they want the best for me. They want me to have everlasting life.

  I really feel they care for me, but they are stuck. They are taught how to act. The same was I used to treat my brother, who is disassociated. He told me last week he still can't believe I am so nice to him now, its like a dream he got his brother back after so many years. So I did care about him, but I was stuck with the rules and I thought I was doing the best for him all that time.

  I know for sure if my family and friends were out of JW, or if they knew what I knew, they would act normal again.

  What do you think?

  BF
• 

  Witness 007

  I think your friends are history sorry mate! You are literally stuck between a rock and a hard place.
• 

  White Dove

  Know what? It's similar out in the "world" with some people.

  It's down right confusing.
• 

  oompa

  Amen, and the vibes will get stronger and wierder.........oompa

  you will become very isolated
• 

  flipper

  BONAFIDE- Since you have come on this board- myself and others have tried to tell you as distinctly and clearly as possible - no, these are not your friends. They are " cult mind controlled" to act as they do. Do yourself a favor and read " Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steve Hassan - then you will clearly see and understand what's happening here. I can't make it any clearer than that. There is no reason for you to put yourself through this agony of " self imposed " guilt you are feeling and confusing feelings of what's causing these people to shun you. It's not fair- but neither is the witness organization. Please wrap your mind around that fact. It's an evil organization- and yes- the elders and others are out to get you and bust your balls. Is that clear enough ? Take heed. Peaceout, Mr. Flipper
• 

  BonaFide

  Ok, I understand that at this point they are not real friends. But I WAS THE SAME WAY. I shunned my own brother, and didnt invite him anywhere for years. But I still cared for him inside, I just thought I was doing the right thing. I would talk to him only sometimes, and I really thought he was a bad guy. The same with others that were "weak" I did try to encourage them, and spend some time with them, but then when I could see they didnt want the "truth" I stoppped associating with them. That all changed when I started to see what is really going in the JW world.

  So now that I can see the light, I am back to being great friends with my brother, we are working on forgetting the past.

  Won't the same thing happen with my JW friends?

  Maybe I am just wishful thinking.

  BF
• 

  Mickey mouse

  Only if and when they are ready to see the light. Could be next week, next year or never.
• 

  MissingLink

  Friends aren't friends because of how they "feel" while shunning you. It's how they act toward you that counts. Same as when you shunned your brother. You're lucky that he forgave you.

  Perhaps they will come around at some point. You definitly should leave the door open for them if they ever do wake up. But until then, you gotta accept that they are not your friends.
• 

  Hortensia

  sometimes I think it's like living in a country with a dangerous government. They might love you, miss you, feel sad, BUT the government's spies are watching and they feel it's dangerous to associate with you. Of course some of them think what they are doing is righteous, as you did when you shunned your brother. I hope you connect with some of them again outside the org. In all the years I've been out, the only one I have met again from the congregation I grew up in is PEC - and I met his wife who wasn't ever a JW. I'd like to meet some of the people I used to know, I'd like to know that they got out safely too...It's sad.
• 

  jwfacts

  JW's are members foremost and friends second. I found the same as you have, that you do not have to be disfellowshipped for the shunning to start. I had been the social centre of the congregation, but once I become irregular at meetings people stopped visiting and inviting us out.