BonaFide:
Ok, I understand that at this point they are not real friends. But I WAS THE SAME WAY
I gotta go with Mr Flipper on this one... and what I am writing is probably going to sound harsh: they are your friends....as long as you remain in the fold cult..and YOU WEREN'T A PROPER FRIEND EITHER when you were a MTS rock star. You were just as conditional a friend as these so-called friends are of you. Karma sucks. Now you are getting what you used to dish out. Having said that BF.....
you know what?. I was a crappy a$$ friend too......I didnt mean to be self-righteous..but by definition, being a JW elder...I was..... I was a crappy friend often to those who needed me the most. I may have ignored the rules sometimes and talked to DF'd people (esp when I was an elder), and I thought I genuinely cared...and maybe I did.....but guess what? It was all in the context of "getting them back." I didn't intend for it to be that way. When push came to shove...if it had been me being their friend or me staying a JW, they would have lost every time. I cant go back and change that. I can now only continue away from the Borg and toward being a decent human being.
Even now, I still look over my shoulders when having lunch with a DF person. Not because of what I think of what "they" will do. It is force of habit. Cult training still holding tendrils in my mind (and yeah, read that book Flipper recommended). Ultiimately, I only care because of how it may affect my mom if I were DF.... that is the exception isnt it?.... she will always be my mom... different with the few friends I have....most have already scattered like cockroaches when the lights go on... and the others are casting a wary eye.... believe me...they think they are being my friend too.... and they willl disappear the moment I am DF....
It will be harder for you...having been a WT Rock Star..... your fall from grace will be further than my fall was. We share MTS in common...you were an early grad when it still meant something and MTS was all shiny and new. You were assigned overseas..... So you will be dealt with much harsher than the average R&F. No one gives a $hit now about MTS grads these days......and most of the time in the US..resent the hell out of us showing up on their KH doorsteps. I speak from experience.
so yeah... I hope you have a plan of action to establish a new social life. I would try college. A real education, not that MTS blather.... Post JW....Its been very hard for me. I am just now... nearly a year after my last meeting.... that I am starting to find a social life outside of the Borg...... BonaFide... If you dont have my number, Mr Flipper has it. or email me.....
with all sincerity .... I hope you escape the Borg soon... but you will do so with few or no friends from that life....
Snakes ()
