As of tomorrow I will no longer be a JW (page 5)

Gregor

I am very happy for you. You have my sincere admiration. I only wish more of the people who post here who in an agonizing limbo would see the advantage of making a clean break.

sweet pea

Wow.

Doesn't sound like it could've gone any better. You two should be proud of yourselves - a very dignified way to exit.

I hope that you can both move on now and put it all behind you and that others will be inspired.

Enjoy your freedom.

LouBelle

Hi Mark,

Just adding my voice of support here. May your path lead to enlightment.

regards,

Congratulations on your exit, Mark! It must be wonderful to be able to introduce us to the real 'you', and to sign off with your real name. I look forward to one day being able to do the same. Thank you so much for sharing your very inspirational story.

As an aside, what was it about the Baptist church that 'drew' you there, as opposed to any other 'church'? Could you describe the gatherings at the Baptist church a little, for one like myself that is a little afraid to venture forth? Hopefully, that has not already been posted elsewhere and I've just missed it...thanks!

passwordprotected

@meeting junkie;
I have no idea what drew me to the Baptist church. We used to meet for field service in a block of flats right next door to the church and we used to sneer when we'd hear the band playing during the Sunday service (if we were meeting the morning for FS). Also, the church was rebuilt a year or so ago at a cost of around £2 million, which we also sneered at. Plus, Baptists are happy-clappers, right?

Well, it just goes to show. My wife tried another local church, but she found it a bit too 'charismatic' for her taste. I tried the Baptist church, and enjoyed it.

Before my first service I met with the pastor (there are two pastors, both are fairly new to the area) and I asked him, in detail, what a service was like, what happened, what's expected etc. He took me through what they do there on Sundays.

There's no clergy/laity divide in Baptist churches, and it was actually one of the local elders who was preaching from 1 John 2 the first week I attended. The services started with a welcome from the pastor, who then encourages the congregation to take a few minutes to speak to the people sitting around them. Then after that there are about 3 songs, the words of which are displayed on big screens across the front of the church. Then there is a prayer, usually very specific in it's focus. Then a bit more singing.

Then after some announcements the children are dismissed to their little groups, depending on their age. After that there is a reading. The church we attend is working through John's letters, verse by verse. The focus is very much on the Word of God. No publications other than the Bible are used. After the reading there is a prayer to focus the mind on what is going to be discussed. The sermon lasts around 20-30 mins, then a few more songs, , then a prayer, then the kids come back into the congregation.

I had a check list in my mind of things that would have to be done to satisfy my expectations of religious worship. The boxes were all ticked.

At this church there isn't a huge out pouring of religious emotion, although people do really raise their voices during the singing and some raise their hands, but not many. The first time I attended they served communion and I was amazed at how sombre and serious it was, people all around me were praying on their own, totally un-self conscious as they took communion.

There was no love bombing, but they do take the arrival of new faces seriously and people were very friendly, but not in our faces.

What's great, though, was that yesterday Gail received 4 separate offers of fellowship, from us being invited for a meal to her being invited out for a coffee and a chat. That hadn't happened before. But this week our DA will be announced and we'll officially lose all of our family and friends, so it came at just the right time.

I've had a few one-on-one meetings with the pastor to discuss various faith issues and he's been non-pushy. He even recommended that we don't even think about joining their church. The first time we met he explained he's not interested in getting new members into his church, but rather he's interested in bringing people to Christ.

There are a couple of things that really impress me about this sort of church;
1. the people are genuinely committed and dedicated in their service and worship; they really want to spread the gospel of Christ.
2. the church is just a means to an end. It's merely a place for Christians to meet and worship God, praise Christ and enjoy each other's company. There is a level of organisation involved as it's a big church, but that never ever tries to eclipse the worship of God.

Meeting Junkie No More

Mark:

Thanks so much for that quick response and a very enlightening description...sounds like what a Christian gathering should be! The term 'Baptist' always seemed to turn me off, especially because it had a connotation with 'holy rollers' in my mind, not sure where that actually came from...anyhow, I am so very happy for you and your wife in that you have found a spiritual home...I had a friend who initially went to a Presbyterian church but has since switched to a Baptist and we are scheduled to have a long chat one of these days so I will perhaps check it out and keep you posted! Thanks again....

besty

Good job Mark and Gail. Thats 2 more of us and 2 less of them :-)

I took quiet satisfaction from knowing that Sam and I leaving wiped out 3 years of ~~preaching~~ recruiting for the congregation we left.

In terms of 'losing your family and friends - yes it is hurtful and seems like a monumental deal. But - the old cliche is true - time does heal, you will make new friends, and live goes on. If you are able in time to properly define 'family and friends' as those that will care for you unconditionally then you will see that what you have lost is group membership. Those people ascribe loyalty upwards to the WTS and you just came off second best. Who said exiting a cult would be easy?

Perhaps this time round don't invest all your friendship energies into your new church social scene?

There are plenty of nice atheists out there too...<cough cough>

passwordprotected

@besty - absolutely, mate. In fact, just last week I spent a pleasant few hours in the compay of Jey (Jeff) Burrows who was a good friend in my youth and the first person I'd heard having the term 'apostate' applied to. We enjoyed a couple of drinks, we caught up on what had been happening during the past 17 years. He's a confirmed atheist, but he didn't push that ideology on me and I didn't push my mental born-again Christian vibe on him.

Last night myself and two other local 'apostates' [hi, ninja] popped out for a chat and a beer, each one of us having separate views and opinions on pretty much everything.

Life is good.

Sunnygal41

hey, Mark. Ten years ago, I arrived at "my" committee and after sitting down, just told the elders there who had been friends of mine for years that I wanted to spare them the time and effort I knew they were going to take and just let them know I had no intention of coming back, that I no longer wanted to be a JW. Technically, I DA'd myself, but, later they sent a DF letter to my residence.........whatever.........I've got no time for word or pyschology games. Just sooo glad I'm free from them and their judgemental, controlling, nitpicking religion. Go with your gut. You know what's right for YOU to do.

besty

Last night myself and two other local 'apostates' [hi, ninja] popped out for a chat and a beer, each one of us having separate views and opinions on pretty much everything.

Can all apostates everywhere make a resolution to get DA/DF within the next 6 months.

Every day that goes by adds power to the WTS - why are you still being controlled by them? Don't give me any crap about family - they are cult members.

WELL DONE MARK + GAIL!!!

As of tomorrow I will no longer be a JW

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