As of tomorrow I will no longer be a JW (page 6)

StAnn

I have no idea what drew me to the Baptist church.

PP, that would be the Holy Spirit!

Serena

AudeSapere

Congrats on a fresh start. I hope your in-laws behave decently.

-Denise.

SnakesInTheTower

besty:

Can all apostates everywhere make a resolution to get DA/DF within the next 6 months.
Every day that goes by adds power to the WTS - why are you still being controlled by them? Don't give me any crap about family - they are cult members.

interesting. Of course, after you have been inactive for a year, the Borg no longer counts you in their published numbers. When I was secretary, we had a form that included those that went inactive within the last 6 months (or year, I forget now).... but after that, the person's PRC (publisher record card) got moved to the back of the little file box...usually stayed around a year or two until time to make out a new card (each card was good for 2 years record keeping) then it either got tossed or more likely buried in an archive file.... which rarely if ever was purged (though I did purge ours) ..so that part of the numbers game, the WTBTS loses numbers once we go inactive..but you are right about one thing...

as long as you are not DA/DF, they still think they hold power and also hold out hope that you will return (thus the annual shake the trees for inactive around the time of the "Dishonor Christ and Waste Your Time Memorial"). If you are DF, they will still visit you once a year if they think there is a chance they can suck you back in as "repentant".

Only be being DF for apostasy or DAing oneself do we truly get out from under their thumb...otherwise we are looking over our shoulders, even if it is only subconsciously. But WTBTS records are forever. If you are JC and are DF/DA, there will be a local record and a S-77 in Patterson for all eternity.

As to family. I have only my JW mom. A couple of distant cousins that are inactive JWs. Mom said she wont shun, but then again, I am not DA.

Snakes ()

jam

speaking of the baptism churchs, what impress me was how that treat individuals who was undergoing spiritual weekness..For example, someone that have a problem with drugs or alcohol, he or she are embrace by the church, the church pray with them..they are not shun and told you need too read the bible and go out more in service...I have never heard of a church cutting off association with someone that is not living up to God,s standards....I am sure this is the case with other traditional religions...

passwordprotected

@ besty - I second your sentiments. Our biggest fear was losing our dignity on leaving and people thinking bad of us, which, in hindsight, was prideful and wrong. I was told by the two elders yesterday that everyone in the congregation we've left still thinks very highly of us and they're bewildered and confused as to why we've left. Obviously when our DA gets announced that will change, but not for everyone.

If that's the case, then it's a good thing. Firstly, we managed to leave on a high, we didn't fade and move into 'spiritually weak' status. A family we know are doing this in another congregation, and now no one takes them seriously.

One week we were at the meetings, I was giving talks and items, the next week we were gone. 4 months later we're attending church and have a new, happy life with new friends.

How do I know our method has made an impact? Two elders have told me they've been unable to think of anything else over the past 4 months than our leaving 'the truth'. It's been such a short, sharp, shock that it's made them think and we all know how dangerous that is a for JWs.

I spoke to a young ministerial servant tonight, one that I'd mentored. I've known the guy his whole life. We haven't spoken to each other since July. I knocked his door tonight and told him we'd DAd. He was stunned but he said he's been thinking and pondering and wondering why we left. He remarked that he knows I'm "a smart guy" and that if I've decided to leave it must be for good reasons. While he said he was tempted to ask me the reasons, he restrained himself. I was able to reassure him of my love and prayers for him before I left and I told him my door is always open to him. The guy's eyes filled and he couldn't speak.

There was me, an apostate, not bashing his faith, yet possessing a piece of knowledge so powerful that it's caused me and my wife to take our kids and leave "the truth".

IMO fading doesn't make JWs think. It only works to prolong the agony of leaving for those doing the fading. And I respect those who do it and I understand their reasons. It wasn't for us, however. But Paul's right; making a statement gets people thinking and it frees you to start a new life.

Jey Burrows told me that he agonised for a longtime about DAing because of the impact it would have on his father. On the night he handed in his letter he phoned his dad and told him what he'd done. His father's reply was, "I no longer have a son." Jey said he knew he'd done the right thing.

JW's love isn't agape. It's conditional.

Awakened at Gilead

So happy for you Mark!!!

I DAd the same way... spoke to 2 elders and told them I didn't believe in JW rubbish anymore because it's not scriptural... They were in tears also.

I agree with Besty... I see some (not all) who are fading who if they would have the courage to stand up to the WTS could make a huge statement by leaving. I know that my leaving caused a ruckus in the cong, even though I had become irregular in meeting attendance and service. A deaf couple (Bible students) are no longer studying in part due to my encouragement, and we are now develpoping a friendship out of the org.

So I applaud you Mark for your courage, and I hope you inspire others to make the same bold step, which shocks some JWs into thinking.

My result? My mother, a JW for 35 years, is just about out of the org... I think she will leave in a matter of months... we speak almosty every day!

And to my JW family members who shun me? F*(* them!

BTW, I really hope you and ninja pray in front of the hall and moon your JW friends

Lance

scotsman

It's great that you and Gail feel so empowered by what's happened, long may it continue.

It's also fascinating reading the responses and the whole fade versus DA/DF conundrum. There isn't one really, it's what fits best for you. I'm not DA or DF but nor can I say I faded. Resigned as an elder one week and halted meetings a fortnight later and I'm sure I'm not the only one. My departure apparently damaged the congregation too, much tears etc and predictably some I was friends with left later. Life post JW is also a personal thing, no matter what your departure. I've come across DA and DF and faded individuals who are still defined by the JW experience, and those that aren't at all. Horses for courses.

Isn't a battle with the WT a little like the war on terror or raging against Western hegemony?

besty

to Scotsman

My point is to absolutely reject the WTS as having authority in your life, to regain freedom in your life without looking over your shoulder and to stop appeasing ~~'friends and family'~~ group members

If you can achieve those three things effectively in a short period of time then I have no issue with the technicalities of how you do it.

Isn't a battle with the WT a little like the war on terror or raging against Western hegemony?

Asymmetric battle waged by western governments or asymmetric battle waged against Western governments - bases covered with that analogy? :-)

http://www.consumeractiongroup.co.uk/ over £18,000,000 returned to consumers by the Banks - unfair charges fought by consumer action - it can and does work. We ex-JW's just aren't organised properly - perhaps rejecting the JW's gives us authority issues :-)

jefferywhat

My advice, (as immature as it is) is sit back in your favorite chair, and crank up Rage against the machines "killing in the name of". The last 40 secs wash over you like a warm shower. Im always happier with any decision I make when I remember its my birth right to make it.

scotsman

It's a religion not a bank. If it made some changes would you re-affiliate?

appeasing ~~'friends and family'~~

isn't that part of the human condition?

As of tomorrow I will no longer be a JW

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