oh u have to explain that one to us
did your wife run off and get pregnant?
by oompa 45 Replies latest jw friends
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Cheetos
Dam, I wonder if we were both married to the same bitch dude! My ex-wife wanted to anul the marrige on our honey moon, I don't know why, I thought at the time I peformed quite well I the sack. It took twenty years being married to that women and sustaining a brain injury to wake up and relize just how much of a Beeoch she was. She hammered me with WT do's and don't's 24 - 7 I almost lost my mind I never could live up to her exspectations, she would send the elders over to read me the right act for any stupid reason. Listion if you mary again just make sure your wife has big Hooters", cause my first wife had ittie bittie ones, and I think it made her crazy the fact she did not have big ones.
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FlyingHighNow
Cheetos, someday, somebodies gonna have to have a talk with you....
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FlyingHighNow
oh u have to explain that one to us
Read these lyrics to Neil Youngs Last Trip To Tulsa very carefully and look for the cryptic message. Let me know if you figure out the code.
"Last Trip To Tulsa"Well, I used to drive a cab,
you know
I heard a siren scream
Pulled over to the corner
And I fell into a dream
There were
two men eating pennies
And three young girls who cried
The West coast is falling,
I see rocks in the sky.
The preacher took his bible
And laid it on the stool.
He said: with
the congregation running,
Why should I play the fool?
Well, I used to be a woman,
you know
I took you for a ride,
I let you fly my airplane
It looked good for your pride.
'Cause you're
the kind of man you know
Who likes what he says.
I wonder what's it's like
To be so far over my head.
Well, the lady made the wedding
And she brought along the ring.
She got down on her knees
And said: Let's
get on with this thing.
Well, I used to be a folk singer
Keeping managers alive,
When you saw me on a corner
And told me I was jive.
So I unlocked your mind, you know
To see what I could see.
If you guarantee the postage,
I'll mail you back the key.
Well I woke up in the morning
With an arrow through my nose
There was an Indian in the corner
Tryin' on my clothes.
Well, I used to be asleep
you know
With blankets on my bed.
I stayed there for a while
'Til they discovered I was dead.
The coroner was friendly
And I liked him quite a lot.
If I hadn't 've been a woman
I guess I'd never have been caught.
They gave me back my house and car
And nothing more was said.
Well, I was driving
down the freeway
When my car ran out of gas.
Pulled over to the station
But I was afraid to ask.
The servicemen were yellow
And the gasoline was green.
Although I knew I couldn't
I thought that I was gonna scream.
That was on my last trip to Tulsa
Just before the snow.
If you ever need a ride there,
Be sure to let me know.
I was chopping down a palm tree
When a friend dropped by to ask
If I would feel less lonely
If he helped me swing the axe.
I said: No, it's
not a case of being lonely
We have here,
I've been working on this palm tree
For eighty seven years
I said: No, it's
not a case of being lonely
We have here,
I've been working on this palm tree
For eighty seven years
He said: Go get lost!
And walked towards his Cadillac.
I chopped down the palm tree
And it landed on his back. -
hotspur
Can only guess what that's like Oompie!
Didn't exactly run off..... but ....
15 years after the fact I found out my youngest daughter wasn't mine!
I did the running ... two years later.... should've gone sooner. -
Snoozy
When I was a witness this one witness lady ( I use the term lady lightly) and I became friends when her and her new hubby had moved into our area ..when she started having kids she would always dump them off on me because kids made her crazy and she need a rest...being a good "sister" I would help her out..only much later did I discover she was sleeping with all the "Inactive" brothers in our congregation and several of the active sisters husbands!..Why? She said her hubby wouldn't cuddle enough with her...
She had totaled up quite a sum of men friends in the congregation..even some of the sons of the elders!. I wonder if they ever found out?
Well her hubby (A inactive witness) came home from work one day early (Thanks to a neighbor phoning him) and caught her in bed with their insurance man. Did he beat the guy up? No he beat her up. She came running over to my house with a black eye.
She went back after he had left the house and got some of her clothes and ran away. She left the by now 2 girls with him for him to raise and found herself a room to rent. She later called me to let me know where she was but I couldn't tell him.She was afraid he would beat her up again..well she got disfellowshipped and ran the streets living off of welfare and section 8 housing for years as she supposedly got pregnant on her divorce day..later I told her ex he should have had a DNA test on all his kids...
He raised the two girls for a while and the older on eventually moved in with her mom. Soon they were both dating the same guy and the daughter got pregnant by him..
Years later her now grown daughter called me and we were talking..I asked her how her Mom was and she told me she had moved to California where her JW dad and step mom lived and got reinstated. Then she ended up marrying a witness. She also went on to say that her Mom was extrememly jealous of her new husband because he was "Very friendly with the ladies".....here we go again....
Did I top you?
Snoozy..well it wasn't my hubby but she and I were pretty close for years..I was the last to know about her 'Other life"..
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sacolton
I might be able to top it ...
My first wife had an affair on our honeymoon. She got drunk and one thing led to another. We divorced six months later.
Did I win?
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Homerovah the Almighty
Ummmm...... thats pretty close Sacky your certainly up in the ranks
Goes to show we need to select are partners with much more scrutiny than we think.
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oompa
babayaga: How long ago was this? Did she take the babies with her, or leave them with you? How long until you found out where she was, and that she was alive and okay... (okay being a relative term, here)
about 15 years ago and they were not babies, third and fith grade and perfect in every way...seriously cute too, and still. it only took about a week using police tracking of credit cards and atm, but it took over a month to find her car, which cost a good bit to get out of parking garage
dinah:
Oompa, *blank* or get off the pot.
The more I read, the more I think you are just pulling our collective chain
what are you talking about girl, are you still a judgemental dub? i have street cred here, and need this collective chain. I have been to and had enough meetups here to know that my friends like changeling, wings, jk666, otwo, and lance can vouch for you that i dont do BS.........but expecially my old friends bonzo and redredrose, who I grew up with and know my ex-wife could fill in all the juicy details for you.....
Hotspur: 15 years after the fact I found out my youngest daughter wasn't mine!
nice! too bad you did not know right away though.....you got to raise the prize...........
Cheetos and Salco....those were both doozies!...and i feel your pain, but right now I say you two tie for a distant second place....cause geeze you did not have 15 years invested in a good marriage, and i doubt your wives were the pillar of the congo aux. pioneering half the time, dragging the kids along. we were the family that all the friends would say "NO WAY...they are perfect family"
I still am not over the whole thing....I swear I think about it more than once a day and STILL can't believe it......moved on as best i could like any good dub, married a fine sister of course about a year later (ya they come out of the woodwork, esp. old girlfriends).......divorce sucks all, and a good friend of mine here is going through a rough one right now...she does not post anymore, but is reading us again....i know others here are going through them as well......thought this might be good therapy...a divorce contest to vent on........................oompa
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StAnn
Here is my ex-husband's story. We'll call my ex-husband Dick (it fits):
Dick was living with a woman for five years. Let's call her Jane. They were breaking up and she told him that she was pregnant. Dick gave her money for an abortion and Jane went on her merry way.
She used the money for her wedding~to his best friend, whom we'll call Joe. Jane did not have an abortion. She told Joe that it was his baby, which is why he married her. When the baby was born, it looked just like my ex-husband Dick. So, Joe promptly divorced Jane.
Dick never saw Jane again after she left him. He didn't know she didn't have an abortion, didn't know why Joe had divorced her, as they understandably didn't speak after the affair. Dick and I had been married for about five years and the phone rang. It was the Jane's brother. Let's call him John. Jane was moving very far away and her daughter wanted to meet her father, Dick, for the first time before she left the state! Could John bring his neice over to meet her daddy?
I had a stepdaughter????
Of course, I said yes, and arranged for John to bring over the little girl at 5:30 p.m. Dick got off work at 5 p.m. and was usually home by 5:10 p.m. John and the girl showed up at 5:30 p.m. Dick never showed up. He didn't come home until 11:30 p.m. So I visited with John and the girl and the son that Dick and I had together got to play with his sister for the first and last time in his life. About 9 p.m., John gave up and left.The little girl was cute and looked just like Dick. To my knowledge, Dick has never tried to contact her and has never paid support or desired to have a relationship with her. I know that my son (now 25) has no relationship with his half-sister.
I'd have a hard time, knowing I had a child somewhere and not caring, but it didn't seem to bother Dick. When he gave Jane the money for the abortion, he divorced himself emotionally from the child. It's kind of strange, because he is devoted to our DS25.
StAnn