I like them. Sometimes I get baffled by things they do, but in general I love them.. It's their job to push and our job to give them something stable to push against. My therapist tells me this about my nearly 13 year old grandson Julian. He does exasperate at me at times, but mostly he makes me laugh and smile. I try to concentrate on the fun times with him.
If adults expect teenagers to act like perfect little adults, then adults will always be disappointed. Teens may seem like the don't want us around, or need us around, but this is simply not true. They need to feel we understand them and are the for them with unconditional love. C'mon, don't you all remember thinking adults didn't understand you? Teens need and want our boundaries and limits, no matter what they might tell us and no matter how loudly they may shout it. They test us all the time, but they don't want total freedom, not really.
If teens were adorable and sweet 100 % of the time, we'd never want them to leave our homes.
I am taking a positive parenting class. The teacher is always driving home what normal behavior in children actually is. She told us that 3 out of five kids will be defiant. So really, kids who are compliant are not the majority. If we all keep this in mind, teenagers will be easier to understand and tolerate.