by mtsgrad 125 Replies latest jw friends
Life is too short just to sit and watch it go by
So true. That's how I felt. We all deserve happiness!!
Growing up as a JW I'd surpressed my feelings, for all kind of things, for so long. I believe that to deny your wishes for too long will make you very un-happy. Of course you don't want to hurt anyone in the process but as I understand your marriage is basically over anyway.
/Newborn
Don’t have an affair so that you can at least say that you were honorable enough to maintain a promise that you made and that you never willfully did anything to hurt someone that you once must have loved.
I think this says it all.
After doing without for 11 years, it wouldn't have killed me to wait a few more months until we were no longer under the same roof and sharing the same bed. As it stands, I now continue to look back and wonder if the marriage would have improved had I done things differently. I'll never know.
W
Why should anyone give you a reason not to have an affair? You're a big boy. You're not dumb. You know the pros and the cons. Why get others involved with what you personally want to do with your sexlife?
Mighty minimus
Just looking for opinions. I hope that is allowed on this board.
I promise you I will not hold the board accountable for my actions!
mtsgrad
Wow sorry to hear of your troubles and I'd have to say that its surprising that you've stayed this long in a relationship
that sounds like pure crap .
If I can only offer some advise if your already in divorce proceedings , DO NOT HAVE AN AFFAIR $$$
The reason simply being that it will worsen your position in the divorce against you.
If you haven't had any sex with your spouse for that length of time, that is in most cases grounds for divorce and it plays in your favor . $$$
So what ever thoughts you've been rummaging in your mind I'd suggest holding off on those , until you officially separate
and again we are talking about positioning here again.
You have waited 7 years, you can wait a few more weeks till the marriage is legally over and then do what you will and no "adulterer" label will ever be attached to your name or your conscience. Yes, the marriage is over, but those little technicalities can still burn your heart and mind later on, even if right now it is appealing. (Speaking from experience, and the marriage wasn't even a legal marriage as I had learned he was a bigamist years before-Trust me, wait a few weeks)
Why haven't you had an affair these last seven years? Is that reason still there? Do you have children? Would it complicate your divorce settlement? Would it complicate your's or the new woman's life?
Really, only you can answer these questions and you have to live with the fallout.
Sounds like it's not an affair but actually a booty call, wham bam thankya ma'am, fling. An affair would be stepping out on your current wife while the marriage is still valid and not at the point of divorce or going through the process of divorce and trying to have a relationship with another woman/mistress. I do feel for ya cuz you've been in a sexless marriage for quite a long time and I don't think I can judge ya for wanting to get your rocks off.
Josie
When there is breakup between a couple there seems a want and desire to inflict some kind of emotional injury on to another
especially when the relationship is about to come to a close.
This is an infallible part of are human instincts, but a wise person looks a head to the future and their personal happiness and keeps
a calm head, the ending result is much better for the person who pursues that personal initiative.
Because it is a horrible thing to do. I have done it and had it done to me. Just leave and then start a new life. If you care the slightest for her and if you have the slightest amount of self-respect, you will not do it.
