Give me a reason not to have an affair/one night stand

by mtsgrad 125 Replies latest jw friends

  • lola28
    lola28
    So that I can say that I was honourable?
    What about my wife being honourable. Since I have faded I have lost every person I loved. I have no one who cares about my honour.

    I know it might sound silly, the whole honorable part but I don’t think it is. When you marry someone you make a promise to stick by them thru everything, right? Yeah you got a raw deal but I think your wife probably thinks she got screwed too. Can you put yourself in her position for just one second? She thought she had married someone who shared her religious beliefs, who would be the head of her house and support her “spiritual” pursuits and suddenly this person, her life partner, his whole goals change and she can’t deal with it. I would be devastated if I found myself in her position, you my dear didn’t marry a cafeteria catholic, you married someone whose life is shaped, controlled and manipulated by a religion and you knew what would happen when you decided to fade, how did you expect her to react?

    Your wife has been leading the life she expected to live, you are the one that changed and radically so. I would advise you to not do something which you might later regret, at least when you are divorced you don’t owe anything to anyone, but while you are married that’s a different story.

  • DJK
    DJK

    Move out, move on and start a relationship. Skip the affairs.

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    AudeSapere

    My wife knows about the divorce and I have instructed my solicitor to start proceedings.

    We are still shacked up together.
    Cheers

    mtsgrad

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Time to get unshacked

  • undercover
    undercover
    Sounds like it's not an affair but actually a booty call, wham bam thankya ma'am, fling. An affair would be stepping out on your current wife while the marriage is still valid and not at the point of divorce or going through the process of divorce and trying to have a relationship with another woman/mistress.

    If the marriage is dead and you're maintaining seperate households, the divorce papers are just a formality. I don't see any reason why you can't go on with your life.

    Having said that however, if your conscience is bothered by the idea of this fling, then maybe you're not ready. Don't rush anything. Things will happen naturally and if it doesn't happen this time, then maybe the next time you'll be ready.

    edit: I see mtsgrad posted that they're still maintaining a single household...that changes things. That would be an affair. I say, don't do it...it'll cost you more than you realize at this time.

  • mtsgrad
    mtsgrad

    newborn

    Suppressed feelings accounts for the main reasons in not having a divorce or a one night stand. Lets say I have a one night stand. Will my life fall apart. I dnn't think so.

    In 5, 50, 500 years will anyone care. Even if armageddon ws true I would not want to live in a world with JWs anyway.

    Appreciate your thoughts

    Mtsgrad

    Life is too short just to sit and watch it go by

    So true. That's how I felt. We all deserve happiness!!

    Growing up as a JW I'd surpressed my feelings, for all kind of things, for so long. I believe that to deny your wishes for too long will make you very un-happy. Of course you don't want to hurt anyone in the process but as I understand your marriage is basically over anyway.

    /Newborn

  • Brother Apostate
    Brother Apostate

    "Make no mistake about this: You can never make a fool out of God. Whatever you plant is what you'll harvest. If you plant in the soil of your corrupt nature, you will harvest destruction. But if you plant in the soil of your spiritual nature, you will harvest everlasting life." - Galatians 6:7-8

    Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. - 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

    BA- Take it seriously.

  • ferret
    ferret

    Does your wife know this person, maybe it is a setup to make you look like the bad guy.

  • yknot
    yknot

    Affair or roll in the hay?

    Seriously.....you waited this long, waiting for the ink to dry won't kill you.

    In the end it is your conscience and johnson......

    When you do ..... use protection.

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    Don't let the little head think for the big head. Be patient and wait until the divorce is final.

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