Need to vent - being hassled by elders!

by wildfell 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  wildfell

  Nearly two years ago my husband and I abruptly stopped attending meetings. We had one or two visits from an elder that I disliked, but that stopped when I told him not to come back. We were patting ourselves on the back that we had been left alone. Hmmm, jinxed ourselves.

  Over the last 6 weeks we have had an elder (who we used to be good friends with), persistently call my husband to try and catch up with him. He seemed to have a deadline. It became obvious that it wasn't going to be for a social chat. He was successfully avoided. Or so we thought. He sent others to our door.

  Then, last weekend we had a special pioneer elder and his wife knock at our door. (We have never met these people, they are new, but we had found out through a contact in the congo that they were moving into the territory early in the new year) We didn't answer, but I made enough noise to suggest that I was home - I wasn't going to hide in my own home. Did they go away? No. They just kept on knocking and knocking. Finally, they started to actually bash on our screen door! Then the woman began to repeatedly shout out my name at the top of her lungs!!! How rude is that! I live in a very quiet area - every neighbour would have been disturbed by that. I was going to rush to the door and give her a good piece of my mind but then thought that that is exactly what she wanted - she was demanding I answer the door. So just to thwart her, I didn't. I have been mad as hell over it. To add insult to injury, I think that these ill-mannered louts thought that they would be able to use me to count some easy time in a new terrritory.

  I was thinking that I would just continue to totally ignore them if/when they come back. But then it would be SO tempting to tell the woman that I thought she sounded like a fish-monger's wife, that she had behaved exceedingly rudely and to never come back. I was gnashing my teeth over this for the last few days . . . I am usually a mild person, but I do flare up if I am treated like crap.

  Any suggestions on how to best handle this? We have a parents and a few good friends that we would like to keep (one of whom is on the brink of waking up).
• 

  LouBelle

  Prepare a letter for them or any others that show up your door. Do not however say that you are not interested or anything that could lead them to disfellowship / disassociate you - you could even mention that by no means is this a disassociation letter....Just say you do not wished to be hasseled and that any future mad behaviour will be dealt with by calling the authorities.

  Then will they knock again. Open the door, hand it to them & then close the door.
• 

  quietlyleaving

  just keep ignoring them like you did when you first started fading. Be careful about anti-witnessing to your friends at this point. At the moment congregations are pushing for pioneers and elders to study with faders and try and bring them back to the fold.

  If you or a member of your family have any type if illness , I would suggest using that to encourage them to leave you alone. Say you will be in touch when you need help. I have successfully faded up to this point but did have lots of occasions when I felt like you and was in similar situations.

  Nowadays witnesses smile and say hi and even stop to talk.

  best wishes

  ql
• 

  Marjorie

  Then, last weekend we had a special pioneer elder and his wife knock at our door.

  Special pioneer elder = extra zealousness for the dark side. Plus, it gives them a chance to impress the new cong. with their super-abundant love for Jehovah.

  Prepare a letter for them or any others that show up your door. Do not however say that you are not interested or anything that could lead them to disfellowship / disassociate you - you could even mention that by no means is this a disassociation letter....Just say you do not wished to be hasseled and that any future mad behaviour will be dealt with by calling the authorities.

  LouBelle, if Wildfell puts anything like that into writing, it will indeed be considered a DA letter. Remember, we're not dealing with rational-minded people here.

  I'd say the best course of action is to continue to ignore them. After a while, they will leave you alone, like QL says.
• 

  Satanus

  In view of that womans ridiculous actions, the next time jws call, call the police immediately. That might be a sufficient embarassment for them to smarten up. 'Course, it will make them feel so right and truthy, but what the heck. I would be fun.

  S
• 

  Marjorie

  At the moment congregations are pushing for pioneers and elders to study with faders and try and bring them back to the fold.

  Ah, so that's why my telephone and doorbell has been all a-buzz, lately. My hubby, usually the most affable guy that you could ever meet, was not amused by all the sudden interest in me, and refused to answer the door or the phone. He was suspicious that something was afoot.
• 

  sacolton

  Noone escapes this cult easily. Write a letter to the congregation demanding to be left alone.
• 

  Jim_TX

  I guess it depends on your goals. If it is your goal to not DA or be DFed, then you have to try to lie low - and weather the door-knocking.

  If you get tired of being a prisoner in your own home, and decide to take some action to get your life back (that's what it amounts to - whether you like the sound of it or not), then you can put up 'no tresspassing' signs - in prominently visible places. Then when they come banging on your door, call the cops.

  Just my .02 worth.

  Regards,

  Jim TX
• 

  Satanus

  Then, there's the video method. Buy one of those small video machines. The next time they call, answer the door w that thing running and pointing at their faces. Just carry on as if everything is normal, getting everything on video. Bet that would send em for a loop, and send em away, no matter how elderish he or she might be;)

  S
• 

  troubled mind

  If it had been me i would have called the police over this woman's behavior at your door ....I mean you had never met them and they are pounding on your door screaming your name !

  I would use that experience to let those at the hall know you have one more reason not to be bothered at your home .If you have questions or need assisstance you will contact them period .

  My husband and I left abrubtly three yrs, ago and also have only had one or two calls by an elder after the first few months . When asked if there was something we wanted to discuss I said "NOT at this time ,if I do.... I know how to call ."

  Good luck and best wishes on your fade