Oh, yes. Well, not much better then.
Broken vases and other ways we are made to feel damaged
by dinah 35 Replies latest jw friends
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only me
The same thing happened to me when I was 16. The only differrence was they said a china plate instead of a vase.
They publically reproved me and took away my priveleges, that's when I started having panic attacks. I never did join the ministry school again and only answered when bullied into it.
I did end up marring a Witness boya few years later but he was from a different circuit.
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dinah
Funny how they make us feel like we are the ones who are broken.
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penny2
In some ways being "reproved" was worse than being disfellowshipped. What a choice:
- Be repentant and have your "offences" described in detail to your family, friends and complete strangers and be made to feel like complete rubbish;
- Be put in solitary confinement (disfellowshipped) for an unknown length of time until some old brokes decide you are worthy again to be spoken to.
And in both cases be racked with guilt for years about something which was completely normal - having sex.
No wonder many of us spent years in the wilderness.
penny
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only me
I was broken by the time they were done with me. It just took me a long time to do anything to help myself.
They set almost impossible ideals and then vilify the teenagers for normal behavior.
The pain stays with us all our lives I think.
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Scarred for life
Yes, the pain does stay with us all of our lives. It's an abusive cult.
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dinah
We lived.
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parakeet
It's ironic that the reason elders tell a young girl that she is "broken" by her actions is that they're actually attempting to break her spirit, a far more cruel sin than anything she might have done (personally, don't think she did anything wrong).
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penny2
We lived.
We sure did, Dinah. I'm happier now than I ever would have been remaining a JW.
And it all makes sense now.
penny
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BluesBrother
I remember the "broken vase" illustration, it was originally in the context of providing a warning to those who had not done it yet, not to those who need "building up"
Some elders made me cringe when I got involved in cases like that..." I am going to make you squirm" our old P O said to one young lady who had confessed and was now coming up to the "counselling bit" . Some people are just bullies who enjoy inflicting their power and telling themselves that it is for the persons good.
I am glad that you have turned out o k ...