Broken vases and other ways we are made to feel damaged (page 3)

brinjen

It's normal teenage behaviour. Yet they villify you for it. I spent many a time in the back room of the hall for being friends with a worldly boy, and when I say friends I mean completely platonic. But the Elders TM didn't believe that, I was questioned about my periods, if I was on the pill etc. This started at the age of 12. I earned the s**t title through that friendship. All for something that anyone outside of the KH would have seen as perfectly normal.

They keep boys and girls separated under the 'protection of virtues' spin, hoping to alter your behaviour, but teenagers will always act like teenagers. I'm sorry they treated you this way Dinah.

Marjorie

All of this stuff is degrading and vile.

Teenage girls have especially fragile psyches; it was not "loving-kindness" to interrogate any of you in such a salacious manner, nor publicly flog you about such a delicate and private matter.

The actions by the elders in these tales of horror, remind me of how lucky we all are to be free of the WTS.

We lived.

I'm happier now than I ever would have been remaining a JW.

Living well is the best revenge.

- George Herbert
English clergyman & metaphysical poet (1593 - 1633)

rebel8

I feel really bad for anyone experiencing this sort of crap. Crap isn't even a good word for it, more like horror. (( ))

I saw it happen to others and I felt really bad. It was a really powerful method of psychological control.

I was a "cracked vessel" for having had transfusions before we joined the borg [the year Armageddon was supposed to come. I've posted about this before, told I was "like a rape victim", and I suppose in their mentality, like someone who had premarital sex. "Damaged goods" was the term used to describe me. Not from the platform like others......can't imagine how horrible that must have been.

Once I tried to compile a bunch of stories about the blood issue for a book, but I only got 3 stories (including mine), so I gave up. What about a compilation of how the wts psychologically [and physically, sexually, etc.] abuses girls? And maybe non-whites too? My story is bigger than the blood issue, it is about being female in the cult........

If anyone is interested in this, there would be no money [I wouldn't make any either], and it would be anonymous. If interested, let me know.

Or maybe we shouldn't--too painful? I would need a box of Kleenex and a large supply of chocolate to write mine. 20 yrs later, it's really hard to think about..........

Quandry

Not in so many words, Rebel.......but it was obvious. A talk about fornication and broken vases......then they annouce Dinah has been publicly reproved by a Judicial Committee.

Yes, they might as well have announced your name and "sin" from the platform. I am glad that you now seem to be a strong woman, although I am sure this still stays with you, as evidenced by your telling us about it.

I am curious about one thing, though. How did your mother react to the way the announcement was made? How is your relationship with her now?

no more kool aid

Dinah, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I have similar stories of JC of creepy 50 year old guys asking me "so, what were you wearing?" (and I was a virgin). Thank you for sharing that story. It reminds me how happy I am to be out. I will always be a little messed up from it, can't change that. But we can all change it for our kids. I have such a sense of freedom now that when my kids stray down a path that we feel is wrong, it is up to their father and I (only) to redirect them. Where else in this world, does 8-10 dirty old men have to know the details of a young girl loosing her virginity. Then to top it off 3 circuits worth of busybodies get to gossip about it. These issues are personal, normal and should be dealt with within a family. Shame on your mother for racing to the elders instead of talking to her own child. I am so glad you have a husband who sees how ridiculous your past was.

Scarred for life

rebel8:

I am interested in your story and any other stories that you can compile. I don't have a story like what you are talking about that happened directly to me but I saw it happen to others.

I agree with you that being raised a female in this cult is very, very psychologically, emotionally and spiritually damaging. I'm interested in what you have to say on this subject. I do not think it is too painful to talk about. I think talking about it will help heal us.

And I'm with Quandry. I would like to know from the OP what was the reaction of your mother and what is your relationship like with her now.

Farkel

I challenge anyone, and I mean ANYONE to show proof from the Bible (particularly in the New Testament) where premarital sex is condemned as wrong. The WTS likes to differentiate between the terms "fornication" and "adultery", whereas real Bible scholars state those terms are so interchangeable as to be a distinction without a difference.

There is nowhere in the Bible to my knowledge where the Bible condemns sex between a consenting unmarried male and female.

Ergo, not only is the WTS not enforcing Biblical law, they are perverting in and are being perverts as they pervert it.

I am sorry for the unnecessary ordeal you ladies have been put through by those sexual perverts who are commonly know as "elders."

Farkel

Quirky1

Wow, that's kinda f*cked up. They had no reason to do that. It is really none of their f*ckin' business. I guess the dumb a$$es have to make it their business and make an issue of it by trying to show their authority in the congregation. And the labeling, WTF.

Sorry you had to go thru this sh*t.

dinah

My relationship with my Mom is strained. She doesn't shun me, cos my Dad was never a Witness and her dropping me like a hot potato would make them look bad.

I can't believe this memory just popped up yesterday.

A mother should be the one you can go to about this kinda stuff. Her turning me in (after me begging her not to) really hurt.....and after that I never trusted her again. I NEVER told her anything again and my double life kicked up a notch. Found better hiding places for contraband (love notes and booze).

She's still an active Witness and yes I still love her with all my heart. I forgive her betrayal. She thought she was doing the right thing because she thought she was saving me from myself. But looking back, I was already a shy kid who had no self-esteem from the constant beating at the meetings. They made us feel worthless and underserving of any kindness.

Anyway, since I remembered this and dealt with it, if feels like one more of those loads taken of my shoulders. Funny how you find those loads after all these years.

Alpaca

Dinah,

My heart goes out to you for the kind of pain you had to go through.

When I was an elder I had the impression that many of those guys wished we still lived in ancient times when they could take someone out and stone them.

As far as I am concerned, the Dubs don't treat women any better than Islam fundamentalists do.

It amazes me that so many really smart women stick with it.

All the best,

Alex

Broken vases and other ways we are made to feel damaged

Share this