Snapped. It just occurred to me that I REALLY hate my life. Mostly all of it.

by easyreader1970 52 Replies latest jw friends

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  easyreader1970

  Thanks, passwordprotected.

  We've talked about the BSG situation, even the fact that they have flipped flopped on their reasoning for it. First it was high gas prices, taking its toll on people, blah blah. Here lately the reason has become "Jehovah knows that the family study was the part that suffered most so that is why we have this new arrangement". That second reason wasn't even mentioned in the initial letter last spring.

  However, I do like the idea of a family Bible reading. Any time anyone reads the Bible without WT literature and without taking things way out of context, they come to the realization of alot of things.

  I'm still somewhat doubtful where my wife is concerned, but it is worth a shot.

  er

  I should add as a PS, usually when something happens that is not logical, it makes her act with more of a Witness frenzy, not the other way around. For instance, when she was first upset about the BSG's demise, this caused her to think "All those people who did not get close to other people when the arrangement existed might be in trouble! We should be doing more! The end is nigh!" That sort of thing. Even now, with the diving economy: "See! Jehovah told us to simplify! He was right!" I can't even try to insert logic in there anywhere about how the previous economy was not sustainable.

  She now thinks that Obama, because everyone just loves him, is going to be the one who tries to rain down terror on Jehovah's people. I told her that the man will only be there for 4-8 years and he will be gone. Isn't that a leap?
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  jaguarbass

  EVERYBODY HAS TO FIGHT FOR THEIR RIGHT TO PARTY.

  You don't know what your wife is going to do, if you quit being a JW until you quit being a JW.

  I quit in 83. My wife continued going to meetings for 10 more years, because she wasnt ready

  to leave. We are not all at the same point on the journey.

  You seem to be in a comfort zone, which is the same as a rut, and a rut is another name for a grave.

  The only thing that has to change with you is everything.

  You can get through it. I did. If you cant afford professional help go to an AA meeting.

  When they say they are recovering alcoholics say to yourself I am a recovering JW then

  work the program. The program will return your sanity and peace of mind.
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  besty

  the first African American President will unleash bigotry on a minority?

  you couldn't make it up....

  they cannot bring themselves to see the good in anybody or anything except themselves....
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  jaguarbass

  AA is a suicide prevention program. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

  Even if you dont drink, they will tell you what you need to know to start living and loving life

  again.
• 

  cawshun

  I too feel so sorry for what your feeling. Why is it everyone buckles down to the JW? What right does any individual have over another? Why can't it be the opposite? Why can't you make her life miserable instead of her making your's miserable?

  Maybe if she see's your more in control of your own thinking and you voice it strongly, maybe she will be the one to back down. Instead of her shoving it down your throat, why don't you just start shoving how you feel down hers? They want to shun you for that, maybe you could be the first to do the shunning, tell them not to talk to you till they can find a way to reason with you!

  They are shutting you out when they are not open to any discussion, tell them, you won't hear anything about the jw's till they are willing to let you give some balance to what they are teaching. You will listen to their point of view only when they will hear your point of view.

  I get so angry at this cult, I'm venting, you need to vent too, it helps to get things off your chest for the moment.

  Take Care and thank you simon for this forum, its so needed for those going through these kind of feelings and to have a place to come for support!
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  Robdar

  Sorry, but I do not have much sympathy for someone who says they hate their life and wont take the necessary steps to change it. Quit making excuses for your misery.
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  Open mind

  As I'm sure you know, JW drones have just started over with Genesis on the weekly Bible reading. Make it a point to have your "Family Study" include the Bible Reading when particularly hard-hitting passages come up.

  Lot offering up his daughters to be raped was this week.

  There's plenty more illogic, racism, misogyny, mayhem and genocide in the weeks ahead!

  How often, if ever, does your wife "let her hair down" and let her non-cult personality shine through?

  om
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  jwfacts

  I am sorry to hear of your difficult situation and how it is getting you down. The way you feel is unsustainable, you need to change something, and so it is time to make the hard choices.

  I agree with the comment on baby steps. You need to tell your wife that you are no longer confident it is not the truth, but do not become too specific or argumentative about it. Stop the family study. Slowly attend less meetings.

  I don't think you have anything to loose. Your wife does not respect you spiritually anyway and is not happy with how things are. So all you are doing presently is making yourself unhappy without achieving anything. At least if you make a stand now you have the change of saving your children from it. If you don't make a stand you will risk you children becoming as indoctrinated as their mother and shunning you in the future.

  It is very hard, but if you break free you will eventually be far happier than you are now. Let your wife know you love her regardless of her convictions. She may not leave but hopefully she will respect your decision.
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  choosing life

  The key to getting someone out of the jws is to get them away from their indoctrination as often as possible. Try to find ways to miss meetings. Feign sickness if you need to. Ask her to please stay with you when you feign sickness as you need her help and make sure she is the one to stay home when one of the kids is sick.

  Use the family study to bring her out of the indoctrination too. Study only the Bible. Prepare ahead to cover subjects that show the jws are not in line with the Bible. Get the children involved. Have them comment on how they feel about the inconsistencies between the Bible and what the wt teaches and even the inconsistencies in the Bible itself. Ask them leading questions. Out of the mouth of babes come such gems.

  Plan vacations as often as you can. Don't go anywhere near a kingdom hall on vacation. Show your wife attention and plan date nights with her. What does your wife really love to do for fun? Surprise her with tickets to concerts, movies, musicals, whatever she really loves. Make sure they are on meeting nights. Plan weekend getaways with just you and the wife away from the hall.

  There is a reason the wt keeps their recruits so busy and steadily attending meetings where they hear the same things over and over. It works. You have to break that indoctrination to allow your wife breathing room to really think for herself.

  If all this fails, your only choice is to stop attending yourself. After a while, she may get tired of getting the kids ready and attending by herself. The wt world is lonely when you are considered damaged goods with an inactive husband. The love bombing will wear off and so will any help for her and the children. Hopefully, it will make her start to think.

  I wish you the best. It is a long road, but keeping the best interests of your kids in mind is helpful. It would be great if they can grow up and be free to live a normal life instead of struggling with the same issues you are.
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  no more kool aid

  Does your wife have any interests outside JW, like a hobby or a job outside the home? Anything that would give her a glimpse of normal life? Is she educated? One logic class had me thinking and applying it to JW doctrine. I think passwordprotected's idea of reading the bible only is a great idea. I was your wife once and ironically it was me that left first, if that gives you any hope at all. Only doctrinal matters would not have done it for me, but being a woman, unfairness, nepotism, disfellowshipping and hypocrisy really really got to me. I put up with all this crap my entire life but when I saw my kids heading down the same path, fraught with angst it gave me pause. The sex abuse scandals were the first issues that provoked me to search the Internet. I have to tell you, my plan was to leave with or without my husband and hoped that my kids would follow the path of least resistance. As for my parents, I get along better with them now, don't get me wrong they would like me to go to meetings, but I like them better not having to see them in the context of the kingdom hall ( a place where I was not happy). Maybe if you quit going some of the conflict would be over. Please hang in there, you know her the best maybe she will see it your way one of these days. Perhaps the best you can do is change yourself for now.