by eyeslice 51 Replies latest jw friends
Stand up and be a man , tell them you honestly do not have the level of believability
to continue associating with jws or partaking in their religion.
You do not have to come up any reasons for this and that and they will mostly try and put you into corner.
Just state your reasons are personal ,
make it sweet and simple.
If you have sincere doubts, you will not be df'd. If you mention several reasons you have for doubts that ARE NOT apostate dogma, but are issues that are clearly known and understood by most bros that have half a wit, this will give them a chance to encourage you. They will be able to give you "their read" on these issues. But, they will go away knowing you are not hiding or avoiding the conversation. If they don't see you at the meetings after this, I'll bet you they will leave you alone.
First of all, I wouldn't read too much into them using your wife as a go between. It has happened since elder bodies were invented in the 70's....
It really is all about what you want to accomplish. You have to negotiate your own needs for intellectual honesty with not wanting to appear "particularly apostate." The two are mutually exclusive.
If you wish to keep things as they are, then you have to play the game. I would be willing to bet that they will express the love of Jehovah to you. They will also be pointed in asking why you no longer attend meetings. (careful here...)
They will then offer a study with a mature witness.
I can't say that I would coach you what to say, but here are some things to avoid.
However, you can use your emotional state as a tool. Also, you can feign offense at some who are not at the "head of the class" in JW speak. Elders have a tough time getting through depressed members. I think that is nearly bulletproof. Be vague, just say you are depressed, that you don't wish to go into it with them, and thats all....
I appreciate that this appears slimey on the surface, but you have to play their game if you want to do the fade. To be direct and honest is another alternative with a whole set of consequences that only you know best.
Speaking of which, I wish you the best in this.
With respect to Watson's advice, which I respect, it all depends on if you get liberal or conservative elders. I would hesitate to mention any doubts, with all respect. I think it risky, but, some have made it work....
..Not one vote in favor of Eyeslice burying his wife in the back yard?.....The other 2 options will work just as well,I suppose.................LOL!!...OUTLAW
Good point All Time Jeff. It is good to use caution. I guess "doubt" might bring more attention than you want. Maybe "confusion" would be better.
If you have been a JW for years, they know that you know, that they know.......
If you go into the meeting with the attitude that many apostates do (I'm going to show them what a bunch of a holes they are and how stupid they are, their grandparents and greatgrandparents were) then guess what!!
I am just trying to prepare myself too. The day will probably come for me as well.
I feel your pain.
how long you been gone from the meetings eyeslice?
i'd call them up, catch them off guard, when they are not expecting it...you get my point....and kindly thank them for their concern (they are probably decent human beings like the rest of us) but you don't want a call right now. <stop talking at this point> there may be a period of silence. wait for them to respond. either it will be oh well ok you know where we are. or it will be along the lines of oh and why is that then? <insert rote non-committal reason as posted above> be prepared to keep repeating this exact phrase until they get the message. well thanks bye. bye.
end of.
they can tick their boxes and you can get on with your life.
Don't play their game. They only have as much control over you as you let them have. If you don't play their game, they don't have any control. Tell them not to come over and not to call. Ever.
If you feel ANY need to answer ANY of their questions, you are still submitting to their control. They are just a bunch of window washers with badges, you know.
Farkel
The right answer is Blondies advice. Be low key about but just get the word back that, no, you don't care to meet with them. Put the ball back in their court and if they throw it back, you throw it back...as long as possible.
You don't have to answer their questions. Subtle mockery may be the way to go.
BTS
