Well the fit hit the shan today.
I was lying in bed and my wife was trying to get me up for service. I kept telling her no. She kept asking why not.
When I felt the moment was right I talked to her calmly. I said, "I have something to say and will you listen to me without condemning me?" She said yes.
I told her that I loved everyone in the congregation. I told her that I had been brought up to believe in Armageddon and Paradise and now I'm 36 years old. I have a kid now whom I don't want to lie to. I said that the generation of Matthew 24 has meant 3 different things since I've been alive. I reminded her that I used to be like the pioneers in the congregation are now. I was a servant and had applied to go to Bethel.
I said I'm scared to say anything because I'm not allowed to have my own opinion. She disagreed with that. I said, "You are not allowed to have an opinion that differs from the Watchtower Society. If you do, they will try to cut you off from your family. I hope that you will not leave me and try to take my child away from me."
She asked me if my brother-in-law felt the same way as I did. I said, "He's never expressed that to me. Why do you ask?" She said, "He never goes to meetings. If you believe, you go." She knows we hang out a lot. I said, "There are a lot of people who go but don't believe. They go because they are scared of losing their family." She didn't think that was true.
She cried and locked herself in the bathroom for an hour. Later though we went out to a restaurant together for lunch and watched a movie at home.
She's going to her sister's tonight who is a pioneer of the most self-righteous sort.
I feel bittersweet about all of this. It needed to be said, though. Especially for the sake of raising my child correctly.
Thanks to everyone for all your support. Any positive thoughts, prayers, or words you can send my way are deeply appreciated.