Been about four years now.
Moved on? Interesting question. By the comments I see, and my own circumstances, it is evident that we all have some degree of traumatization because of our time in the organization, or our family's involvement.
I am reminded everyday I work at my low paying job that I did not get a college degree. At fifty-seven I take one course a semester. At this rate, I will probably die before I finish my degree. Not to mention that if the class is not online and I go to the campus, I feel like some kind of wierdo sitting with a bunch of young people. Very uncomfortable. I feel like screaming out-"You don't understand-I couldn't do this sooner-I was in a mind-control cult, and....." while they stare at me or move quickly away.
I am reminded when my husband and I talk about money that we didn't save for retirement and so now won't be able to in any forseeable future...why, that would show a "lack of faith that the new system is close, soooooo close."
I am reminded when I try to sleep at night and think of the horrible treatment meted out to my daughter when she was sixteen and did a couple of normal teen things. How the elders humiliated and berated her, accused her for hours of committing fornication, something she did not do, and called her a liar, then disfellowshipped her, telling her that God viewed her as filth.
I am happy to report that my daughter, now twenty-one, is an honor student in college. I know that the trauma kicks in for her sometimes, and as a parent, it is hard to live with the thought that my involvement in this group messed up so much of her life.
Even after three years, I do not have friends. I find it hard to make any.When my family was "in" we were always having gatherings at our house, and doing things with the other dubs. Now? I don't want to come off as strange-"Will you be my friend? I don't have any. I will be nice to you, I promise. Can I come to your house and will you come to mine?"
The only thing I can say, is, I do so enjoy not feeling the constant pressure of going to meetings, out in service, and cleaning the hall, having book study at our house, etc. Oh the joys of just sitting in the back yard on a lounge chair, sipping a glass of tea, watching my two cats play, and seeing the spring flowers grow.
I do so hope that all of us who have typed in something on your thread can come to peace. I hope all realize that we must be a help to one another, because, surely, as one poster said, no one else could possibly understand how we feel.
Thanks for asking.