How Long Have you Been Out of the Witnesses ? Have you Moved On ?

by flipper 79 Replies latest jw friends

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  Scarred for life

  Hi Diamondiz,

  I'm curious as to why you have been inactive for 12 years. Why have you continued to attend meetings over this time? Why would you consider going to the Memorial this year?

  I'm asking because I am positive that my father was going through this same kind of period when he died. He had become inactive, only occasionally attending meetings and doing research on the biblical and historical inaccuracies and changes in the WTS teachings. I know that he seemed to begin to have doubts around 1968-1969 and began to miss meetings and not go "out in service" very much. This was a big change from the previous 15 years when he had been super active.

  I'd just like to hear what you have to say. It might give me some insight.
• 

  flipper

  FARKEL- I think that's GREAT that you still speak out about the witnesses after being out 35 years ! Any help is appreciated to help people avoid getting sucked in by a mind control cult ! It's a good thing.

  DIAMONDIZ- I agree with you that the leaders of the WT cult have deceived so many over the years. I too, like you feel sorry for the rank and file members who have totaly been duped by cult mind control. I hold the leaders of the WT society responsible and the governing body. Like Scarred for Life , I do wonder a little what kept you going to meetings. But I have an idea it was still the fear and guilt wihin you that the cult instilled in us which made you go that long and as you said the " programming". It becomes such an ingrained habit of going to meetings , it's like getting off of a drug for some people. But with all the research you have done that is a good thing so I hope you find the courage to move on some day. It can be a long exit some times. Hang in there friend
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  diamondiiz

  Georgia an Flipper:

  I've been inactive as in not going preaching for 12 years since I never enjoyed that part. I was totally oblivious to the fraud most of that time and only stumbled on NGO association about 3 years ago and I knew it wasn't right but didn't think that it was such a huge deal which I still don't. Pedophile suits (mid 2007) really opened my view that there was something wrong with the WT, thanks to Barbara Anderson's info on WT fight not to get to court and finally their settlements.... In late 2007 by accident I came across Thy Kingdom Come book and by reading that I knew WT was lying. I didn't know to what degree but that was the start of the end. I started to research any info I could find, double checked WT material as to what I've learned about them. I'm still in the process of doing this and I've started to write my DA letter. Total I've wasted 16 years of my life in this religion but luckly for me I wasn't totally controlled as I didn't go out "preaching" for 12 years, I didn't participate in meetings and I didn't do any talks - yes I did have all the privileges, I just didn't like doing these things. Looking back I know the programming that's going on, that's why the internet is oh so "evil" to the WT leaders. Anyone that may break their spell and check internet for facts will see how lies started with Russell and just continued on. Another bonus for me was that none of my side of the family has been connected to the WT and that I am somewhat of a loner. I could see how difficult it would have been if my entire family was involved and if I had many friends in the WT circle. Without that it's not that hard to just stop. Therefore it wasn't so difficult for me to just stop everything Jan 2008. I just totally stopped attending and I told my wife at the time I'm through with this and any religion. I still do bible research and all that but as for "religion" I'm done with it and I will NEVER EVER go to any religious organization to be some man follower. Screw that! As for memorial, I'm still debating whether to go or not as I still see this as a valid remembrance of Christ's covenant. As for partaking I'm not too sure as I'm still researching different things. I may not go and have a small "celebration" at home. Not 100% on this topic as WT celebration is more of an advertisement for their religion than a memorial so I don't know......

  I know it takes a long time to get over everything and set myself free from thinking about everything that's WT related. I'm going over all their teachings and discarting stuff that I feel is false, anything to do with modern prophecies is false obviously. So I'm still going through the process of sorting out my thoughts and my believes and I would imagine that will take some time. This has also shaken my belief in God to some extend as why would He permit a religion to use His name to lead people astray?? So at present I'm not sure what my belief system will be once I'm totally over it whether I'll have belief in God or will I be agnostic or outright athiest :(

  I hope my wife will see past the crap and stop but it will be much more difficult for her as her entire side is in the WT and all her friends are in WT trap - so for her to just walk aways would be a HUGE event. She still thinks it the "truth" even though she heard what I know and she just doesn't want to talk about it. But I do know that once I write my DA letter it will be hard for her since my letter won't be a two sentance note but a whole "book" lol
• 

  Scarred for life

  Dimaondiz:

  Thank you.

  Flipper:

  What other books do you recommend by Steve Hassan? I only ordered Combatting Cult Mind Control.
• 

  flipper

  DIAMONDDIIZ- Wow, you have an interesting story. I applaud you for your open mindedness and researching things to prove to yourself the witnesses are misleading people. I'm sure it will be a challenge for you with a believing wife ; but hang in there , in time she may see the nonsense in the cult as well. I feel much like you - I consider myself an atheist/agnostic. I don't know if I believe in a God or not. But to me , it really doesn't matter. I'm still gonna be the same person whether I'm an atheist or agnostic. I don't worry about it, lead my life one day at a time. I'm glad you are moving on ! Hang in there.

  SCARRED for LIFE- I would also HIGHLY recommend you read Steve Hassan's second book too . It's called " Releasing the Bonds - Empowering People to Think for Themselves " printed in 2000. It goes into more detail than his first book " Combatting " and gives actual experiences he has had with helping Jehovah's Witnesses leave the cult. The first book is great too printed in 1988 or 1989, but the second book is fascinating. I think you'll enjoy them both a lot. The second book givs practical suggestions on how to talk with and reach our cult family members . Awesome
• 

  dismayed

  Right now I am only somewhat mentally free. Its actually a wonderful feeling, but its gets dampened when I go to the beatings. I spend way too much time here and on other exJW boards. Trying to limit that and work on more constructive things like actually getting out physically as well. As a born-in, I'm trying to work through feelings of stupidity and ignorance, mainly "Why was I so stupid?" and "why was I so ignorant?"

  At the same time, there is that void, moving from being a know it all, to a know-nothing. I'm trying to embrace that though, considering new ideas, concepts and beliefs that I would have rejected without a second thought.

  Quandry-Congrats on your daughter's progress, and your own willingness to risk it all. While I'm two decades behind you in age, I am inspired and moved by individuals such as yourself that have taken back their life and now can enjoy the simple things that get pushed aside by this religion
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  Scarred for life

  Dismayed:

  I was a born-in also. You are not stupid. You were taught all this stuff since birth by the people that you loved and trusted most in the world. It was the same with me.

  If you are ignorant it is because the JWs work very hard to keep you that way. They don't want anyone to become educated or learn about ohter religions or even know anyone outside of the Kingdom Hall. That's how they operate. Keep everyone ignorant.

  All of us born-ins have gone through what you are going through right now. Hang in there! It will get a lot better! Keep posting! That's important to vent your feelings and we all understand.
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  parakeet

  Out 30 years. Moved on immediately -- celebrated my first Christmas the year I left. Immediately enrolled in university and graduated summa; then on to grad school for a master's. Since then I've taught undergrad courses, tutored students in English writing, edited a few academic journals and books. Married to my nonJW husband for 30+ years. My son, raised as an atheist, is now a generous, loving, hard-working man who is married to a wonderful woman. They had their first child last year. I'm a grandma!

  In short, I've moved on.
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  TreadClimberMaster

  I never really believed it, but never said a word, I was too afraid. I went along with the game, doing just what I needed to get by and not be noticed, almost like I was in a trance. I couldn't take it anymore in about 02 and 03. I was at a book study and a couple of elders and thier wives were mocking an older sister who had a mental disabilty and sacrificed a lot to be there. They would exchange looks and snicker each time she commented. I thought, this can't be right, why am I here, I don't even believe this crap. I finally left in around 03, I just couldn't take it anymore. Someday's I feel like a big dummy, how did I let myself go on so long, even when I knew it wasn't true! I was a born in and really had a hard time letting it go. I am glad I finally did, I wish I didn't still think about it, and most days I don't...
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  Homerovah the Almighty

  I was born and raised a JWS, just a regular JWS gave talks, service and so forth . Out now for some 30 years haven't been

  to any kind of meeting since then. Still have some family in , and those ones I'm not particular close to but thats typical with

  this religion as its been noted. I 'd have to admit I had some rough times mostly in my 20's but thats to expected, growing up is a process.

  My interests to date are so far and away from anything to do with religion as you can probably tell by my posts.

  Lets face it folks the JWS is a sickening mental disease thats lose and roaming around and is capable of attacking unsuspecting and innocent

  individuals. So I've come here as a type of antidote to this most dangerous virus and to cure and heal the infection that it causes.

  That is my real purpose for coming here...........HTA