How Long Have you Been Out of the Witnesses ? Have you Moved On ? (page 8)

flipper

ABBYDEAR- Welcome to the board friend ! You are among people here who understand and many of us just like you have been through ; or are going through similar feelings. You are not alone. Feel free to express yourself and vent if you need to vent . We look forward to your posts on here ! Many of us are searching for what we want to believe in. Be kind to yourself and be patient- you will understand in time . I'm agnostic - don't know if I believe in a God or not - but in time that hasn't bothered me. I experience life day by day and enjoy every moment I have ! I just try to be a good person because it's the right thing to do - and benefits my relationships with others . Sleeping well at night is reward enough- I don't need a paradise. Paradise is what we make it in the here and now. Hang in there and keep your chin up - it gets better I promise ! Just my take, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Paralipomenon

Mentally, I've been out for about 10 years. Physically it's only been a year since I got my immediate family out.

I have to confess that really I've moved on. I still retain a morbid interest in what's going on with the JW's and check in every few months or so to see what's new as far as scandals, but other than the odd memory when my sister comes to visit or laughing as we string up pagan decorations for the holidays it doesn't affect my life in the slightest.

Was fun though, seemed like I picked a banner year to leave. Apostates macing old witnesses, board wars, apostafest drama, wolf games, trevorgate and eryngate.

2008/9 seems rather tame in comparasion. Any good drama I've missed?

mademoiselle

I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness from birth, to when I was seventeen and went away to college. (What a fight it was to be able to do that! So many obnoxious elders sticking their noses where they didn't belong: my education). I'd not believed in the JWs for years, and had just been showing up at the meetings because I was required to, then zoning out for two hours. When I left, I didn't really look back at all. It doesn't effect me anymore, and I don't feel any real anger or annoyance with them. They're just confused.

It's just weird to have all this knowledge in your head, to hear the words "field service", "get together", "theocratic ministry school", and realize no one you know will ever understand what those mean. So, I guess that's why I'm here. I'm not fixated on the JWs, I just want to talk to other people who're familiar with them.

AllTimeJeff

As I stated on my other thread Mademoiselle, welcome! I catch the vibe from you that your exit was pretty healthy, and thats always reason for happiness.

sass_my_frass

Dfd 4 years ago, and I'm doing really well; I'd put my recovery at around 80%. Far worse things happen to people than the thing that happened to me. Being on a long-term honeymoon no doubt helps infinitely. Plus I have forced myself to get through a degree so I really can get on with life, and I'm halfway through now and approaching the easy streak.

flipper

Paralipomenon - I'm glad to hear you've moved on and got your family out. Just the ordinary mind control techniques still being employed by the witnesses.

MADEMOISELLE- Welcome to the board ! I'm glad to hear you moved on. It's amazing how nosy elders and other witnesses can be in our personal lives, ie. education, sex lives, etc. They are just confused - glad you don't allow any anger to bother you.

ALL TIME JEFF- A healthy exit is a good thing.

SASS_MY_FRASS- Congratulations on getting your degree ! That is really cool ! And that you are happily married on a permanent honeymoon ! Isn't that great ? That's how my wife and I are too- on a permanent honeymoon ! I'm glad you are doing well ! Keep it up ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

RaraAvis

I am 45, divorced, ex-pioneer. After growing up as a JW and later living in a foreign country as a need-greater, I returned to the US and left the organization. That was about 17 years ago. I left cold turkey, and was treated as if I was DF'd by most of my "friends." Later I had kids, and their father and I lived together w/o marriage. About 6 years or so after I left, I got a phone call. Someone had written a letter to the society about me, and the elders wanted me to come to the KH to "talk" to them. I refused, so they decided to have a judicial committee meeting over the phone, and called me and put themselves on speaker phone. They asked me a bunch of personal questions to which I responded, "That is none of your business." They said if I didn't come in and talk to them they would have to DF me. It amazed me how they had no respect for personal boundaries and how entitled they felt to ask me such intimate questions. I hadn't been associating with any witnesses, I hadn't been to a meeting, memorial, convention in years, and here they were calling my home. Unbelievable.

It took many years to heal. Even now there are times when I do something that will spark a certain amount of guilt or shame. But for the most part I am so over it. I have visited many different churches, I celebrate the holidays, and birthdays, I vote, I have even had a life-saving blood transfusion.

I do however, still love God, still consider myself a Christian and I am not angry, bitter, or hostile. I think one of the hardest things for ex-JWs is not losing their faith entirely. Or feeling as though they have walked away from God instead of an organization.

It has been interesting reading this site. A friend of mine who is still a witness had told me about this site, and how he was finally understanding some of the things I felt. (he kept in touch with me off and on despite my worldliness) Although a lot of times I don't feel like I fit in here too much.

I guess it's just nice to find people who truly understand the deep control this organization has on people, and what a challenge it is to get out.

ra

OUTLAW

Re: How Long Have you Been Out of the Witnesses ? ..Since I was a Kid Have you Moved On ?..I`m on JWN..Not a good sign for some one who has moved on..LOL!!.......................................OUTLAW

boyzone

Its been very interesting reading other people's experiences on this subject so I'd like to thank you all for posting and for Mr Flipper for posting the thread.

I have now been disassociated for 2 years, and to be honest its been the hardest and most traumatic time of my life - yet at the same time the most liberating and joyful. As you can see a real contrast!

I've found it very difficult to move on. Only now can I say I am getting stronger. The shunning has been awful - truly awful. My dear loving sisters have turned their back on me literally every day when I take my youngster to school. My 9 year old son was wongly diagnosed by child psycologists as being autistic because of the stress caused by the shunning we both received at the school.

They deliberately come into my place of work to shun me. I work in one of many coffee shops in my area, but they choose to come where I work, knowing they're gonna refuse to talk to me, or even look me in the eye. I've even had sister's deliberately approach me at work, hand their dirty cups to me and bristle in disgust and walk off as I've said hello and thanked them.

My zealous JW dad has been - well, lets call him "a typical JW loon" to the point where he fully endorsed the shunning and became furiously angry whenever I showed any hurt or tears. EVERYTHING was my fault. Even when I was taking care of my mum who had undergone cancer surgery, he still defended my shunning treatment as perfectly justified. He even insisted I remove the pictures of my eldest son from his house (because he's gay)

All this has led to a breakdown. I've gone through councilling which has helped to a degree, but I still get days when the pain is overwhelming and my anger at their cruelty and injustice difficult to control.

Now I try and focus on the positives in my life. My dad's attitude shows signs of softening recently which is a good thing. My youngest son is doing well and is gaining in confidence. And with the "how to treat a disfellowshipped person" recently studied at the KH I am seeing less witnesses enter my workplace.

So, all in all, I'm getting there.....and this forum is definately one of the positives as its great to talk to people who also have "been there".

flipper

RARAAVIS- Welcome to the board my friend. Wow- You have been through the mill. like you I had the elders chasing after me also even though I hadn't attended meetings for over 3 years. They are so intrusive and weird that way. But I essentially told them where they could shove their controlling ways. I'm glad to see you have re-integrated into the real world and society . I wish you the best on your continuing to heal and enjoy your life with your loved ones.

OUTLAW- Yeah, I was in as a young guy too. So you've been out since you were a kid ? Well, that's a good thing ! At least you didn't waste 44 years like I did until 6 years ago ! You've been able to live your life !

BOYZONE- You are very welcome ! Glad this site has been a help to you. I'm sorry you have gone through all the shunning and hateful behavior of the witnesses towards you. I too have some witness family that shuns me . It certainly is a disgusting organization with disgusting policies indeed. That is so commendable on your part you helped your mom with her cancer - sorry your dad treated you that way. They are just so mind controlled it's unreal. I do hope your son is doing O.K. through this as I'm sure he has been hurt as well. Just try to keep dwelling on the positives like you said and move on in your life. It is really good you post on here and I always enjoy your takes and posts ! Keep your chin up friend

How Long Have you Been Out of the Witnesses ? Have you Moved On ?

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