Clarify- I'm going back to Meetings to save my wifes sanity! What would you do?

by Witness 007 41 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    I recently posted that my wife has had mental/depression problems since she hurt her back at work 12 months ago....and since after years of picking on the Witnesses by me, she finally lost her faith in them and became in-active....VICTORY I thought! Slowly her stress levels began to rise...she quit work and rehab....then the sleeplessness, wierd behavior..wild agression....bizzar stuff. We split for two months after much stress...she called me back home crying and I relent...she lost many Kilo's {pounds} in weight, and isn't doing well I want to help, I was heartbroken to see this. She wants to go to meetings saying she feels terrible for losing faith...{that was my doing}...she wants my company and I promise her to go "sometimes when I can." Now, some have accused me of having a "hero" complex or some other issues, or compromising....thats cold man!.......but what would you do? Your wife/husband looks weak and sickly....you see them hanging on the edge of a cliff mentally, do you take a bullet for them or stick to your guns? Yes I could refuse to go along and if she ends up in a mental hospital at least I could say I did not compromise! She or we are doing MUCH better now as I try to be supportive and help out. I ask you people...what wouldn't you do for a partner who was suffering so much, to help them step away from the edge? This will cost me emotionally....but seeing your wife crack after 12 years of marriage would make you do anything to reverse the situation.

    I would expect the same from her if the situation was reversed. The hell with the Witnesses, but not my wife. I un-plugged her from "the Matrix" but she can't function without it, so I will have to let her live in the fantasy new world so she can function.

  • SnakesInTheTower
    SnakesInTheTower

    w007

    The ultimate sacrifice.....

    We do what we have to do for the ones we love.

    If I had gotten married in 07 I would have stuck it out with the JW wife instead of walking away from the cult. Turns out I didnt have to..she broke off the engagement due to her bipolar issues. Saved us both a lot of long-term pain. I would have stuck with her though.

    Cannot imagine how you are dealing with it, but Matrix comparison is very apt indeed. Hang in there..and be glad the net is out there for your support.

    Snakes ()

  • sir82
    sir82

    You will get no condemnation from me. You are in a far better position than anyone else who posts here to determine what is best for you and your family.

  • JimmyPage
    JimmyPage

    Your wife is a bitch and you need to grow some balls. Actually I don't mean that at all. I just want you to be prepared for some of the advice you're going to get here. The truth is I agree with sir82. Ultimately, you have to decide for yourself what is best for you and your family. This cult is tough and there are no easy answers.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Thanks for you experience Snakes...fully agree with you. Some of us have different principles and emotions to others, it's been a hard 12 months for me...a bad year. Not out of the woods but getting there slowly, I'm sure it will be worth it if things work out. And yes I would rather eat my own foot then step into a Hall again, but what the hell, I will go if it helps...today I took her to a Flower show in the city and she didn't let me leave her side for a minute...she needs me close right now.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    "Jimmy Page" LOL that's what I expect from People too true! People project their own feelings, marriage,childhood,onto your situation! I had people say "well you knew she was mentally un-well when you married her"....ummm no I didn't???? Lots of wierd statements like that....I have a "hero complex and am keeping her prisoner?? WTF! Has anyone ever loved someone????

  • only me
    only me

    I am not in your shoes, but if I were, I think I'd go back fr a while and see how it goes I would only attend but not participate in anything.

    Then I would try slowly fading again and see if it works.

    If she's comfortable once she's back, it might not bother her so much if you slowly stop going.

    Or it might be the opposite and she could expect a lot from you. I guess you just do the best you can under the circumstances.

    I wish you and your wife well.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    "Only me" exactly my plan! Even she says she doesn't want to go Witnessing due to her lack of faith...not that I would ever go again...just a Meeting a week or so and maybe a Sunday assembly day thats it for me.

  • ninja
    ninja

    at least she lost some weight.....he he

  • jeeprube
    jeeprube

    I admire your decision! Sounds like true love to me.

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