"Ninja" Satan will be pissed when you take over hell!
Clarify- I'm going back to Meetings to save my wifes sanity! What would you do?
by Witness 007 41 Replies latest jw experiences
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Chalam
Hi,
Witness 007-take the red pill, both of you!
Don't go taking the blue pills, either of you :(
Get freed by the One, and see how deep the rabbit hole goes...
All the best,
Stephen
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rebel8
What would you do?
Wife getting a proper psych evaluation and following through with all treatment recommendations is at the top of the list or I'd leave the relationship altogether. IF she has a chemical imbalance, that's not her fault, but her recovery is her responsibility. Period.
Bending to the will of someone who isn't willing to participate in her own recovery has a name: Codependence. It's not healthy for either of you.
Next if I felt me going back to a destructive group and helping my wife strengthen her association is the only answer, I'd have a specific, short-term deadline set that I wouldn't waiver from no matter what. And I'd be prepared for a full-on manipulative meltdown as the day approached, and lashing out afterwards. But I'd stick to my guns.
During the reaffiliation torture, I'd be going to support groups for families of mentally ill folks, going to therapy myself if needed, and I'd sure as hell be reading up on everything I could about how to get out of this very bad situation while supporting my wife. For example, I Hate You, Don't Leave Me.
To an alcoholic, a shot of vodka may be the answer to avoid withdrawal seizures, but you better be on your way to rehab if you want to actually recover.
But as I said several times, it's your decision. You asked what would we do, so there's your answer from me. (( ))
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undercover
I ask you people...what wouldn't you do for a partner who was suffering so much, to help them step away from the edge? This will cost me emotionally....but seeing your wife crack after 12 years of marriage would make you do anything to reverse the situation.
First of all, I agree with sir82 - you're in a better position to decide what's best for you and your wife, so I applaud your efforts.
But (there's always a but...) just for the sake of argument, maybe something to think about a bit...
You ask what wouldn't you do to help someone from stepping away from the edge, from suffering...
Instead of this being someone who can't give up being a JW, what if this was someone addicted to a dangerous drug? You've convinced them that that drug is not the answer to life but in their attempt at quitting they become less stable, more depressed...in short suffering more than when they depended on it? Would you relent and let them go back to the drug because they seemed to suffer less on it?
Now back to your wife...you know the WT faith is false hope. You know that if you can free a family member of it, then in the long run life will be more complete, lived to for now, not waiting for a fantasy to come true. You're wife is going through withdrawal of the drug that was the WT/JW mind control. There will be a period of suffering. Instead of allowing her to go back to the drug, wouldn't it be better to keep her off the drug, nurse her through the withdrawal?
I only bring this up as a counter point to the point, so to speak...not meaning to criticize your decision, just something I've thought of as I've struggled with similar issues.
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oompa
I do not think it is necessary for you to go to meetings with her, and that one aspect of the whole thing can not make her balanced. She has the capablility to grow spiritually if she wants to! Faith/spiritually is a PERSONAL thing you do....like skiing (you just cant really ski WITH someone imo...like hold hands with them on a run). Now if she is so fragile that you feel the need to get her started a bit...maybe so....but you need to be honest and up front....tell her you are going to get her used to it again, but emotionally you can't take it, and that they have proven to you to no really be your friends (if that is true). Let her know you plan to go for a month, and then she can coninure if she really believes it somehow. See she might not get friends again...that is a risk and it could make things even worse for her.
Frankly, i find it nearly impossible to mentally wake up to the real truth...and then somehow start believing it again. I would need holy spit to decend on me and a flame float over may head....and i would need to levitate and be able to walk on water.....then i would maybe believe it!................good luck man.............oompa
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happpyexjw
007 you sure have a tough situation. As others here have said, ultimately the decision is yours. One thing to think about though is your own mental health. If you don't take care of yourself, you may soon be in no position to look after anyone else. Can you possibly get her to therapy so that her issues can be properly addressed? Perhaps a combination of treatment with counseling and medication could help her to stabilize the mood problem. If she won't go, you should go yourself anyway. A good therapist can help you to sort things out and figure out how best to support your wife without putting your own well-being at risk. Bless you for caring so much for her -- many would simply walk away from such a sticky situation. Good luck.
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mkr32208
No, your just going to make her mental situation worse.
The first rule of mental health medicine is NEVER buy into a patients problems, from delusion to grandiose thinking to hallucination whatever. You never NEVER NEVER buy a piece of that bridge!
She needs counseling and probably some pills and and a healthy dose of reality. I can appreciate what you think your doing but it's NOT a good idea. Why don't YOU go talk to a psychiatrist (preferably one with experience dealing with cults) and get their opinion on it?
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Witness 007
Till now she has refused therapy...she has a psychiatrist but does not attend.....today she spoke of going to speak with her Doctor regarding her depressed feelings which is a HUGE step for her! She seems to be thinking alittle clearer each day and is slowly getting back to normal....I hope to go with her to the doctor next week....finally!
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Quirky1
I couldn't/wouldn't go.
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StAnn
007, you have a PM.
StAnn