Hi, Jason.
She did INDEED lie, and Ive no problem saying so.
Okay. As I mentioned, it was strange wording. I asked for clarification; you gave it.
"Did you touch her private areas? Did you initiate intercourse? Did she resist? Was it porneia? etc etc BS." I didnt even get to tell my side before being questioned about all this sexual stuff WHICH NEVER EVEN HAPPENED.
See, now, here's where it starts to break down. What kind of answers were you giving, that opened the door to the other questions? For example:
Did you initiate intercourse? (yes, no)
Which of the two possible answers opens the door to the next question you listed: Did she resist?
Did you initiate intercourse? (No)
Did she resist? (Resist what?)
Was it porneia? (Was what porneia? The show on the TV we were watching? No, she doesn't get those channels)
I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm just making note of inconsistencies in your story.
Now to typecast me a "rescuer".. perhaps you should know more about the situation or the individual before being so expertly capable of categorization.
Why don't we just have a fresh look at what I said, Jason. Here's the quote:
From your description of the events, and your reaction, you sound like a "rescuer".
Hmm... all I said was that, based on what I had read in your post, it was possible that you fit the "rescuer" profile. That's not the same thing as typcasting or "expert categorization." Why so defensive? You act like something struck a nerve.
And so lovingly, self-sacrificingly, too, driving two hours in a hailstorm just to wipe her tears!"
That was way outta line buddy. You make it sound as if you feel I was trying to take advantage of a situation
I quoted your words. Let's have a look:
I lovingly helped her move her furniture. She often got depressed because her sister was suicidal.. what did I do? I drove 2 hours in a hailstorm to wipe her tears. I cooked for her, cleaned, took her out... spared no expense on this woman
If it sounds as if you were trying to take advantage of a situation, it's something that's coming through from the wording you chose.
Your certainly entitled to your opinion and to express it
That's generous of you, man, thanks!
but your certainly not qualified to diagnose either, and quite frankly, YOUR WRONG.
Well, I'm not sure what you mean by "diagnose", but I can tell you this: I'm not wrong. I'm not wrong, because I didn't state anything dogmatically. I suggested to you that you might fit this profile, and then I laid out the profile so that you would see what I meant. And I tied in some of your remarks so that you could see why I say you sound like one based on what you put in your post. That's it, and about that I am not wrong; you do sound like one. No need to get defensive about it; I know so much about rescuers because I used to do it myself, until a counselor pointed it out as a probable reason why my relationships didn't last very long and were usually frustrating while they were going on. I started watching my behavior, and sure enough, the guy was right on target.
So, desiring to have a healthy, mature relationship built on mutual respect and attraction rather than on obligation, I started looking for women who were basically pretty stable in their lives, in their emotions, and especially in regard to their self-esteem. Here's a partial quote from a personal ad I put on a singles website a while back:
I want a friend who is clear-eyed, perceptive and intuitive; kind-hearted, yet a straight shooter; a woman who maintains a healthy level of self-esteem without overlapping into egotism. Not needy or codependent, she manages her life well and wants a man for companionship, not to take over and relieve her of the weight of personal responsibility.
I pointed out some inconsistencies in your story (which still are there) and made an observation intended to offer help in the event that you found it to be on target. That's all I did. Take it for what it's worth, Jason, but try to rein in that defensive streak a little, okay?
COMF
