For the sake of discussion COMF, you strike me as the type of a$$hole that if someone was just mugged, your first reaction in talking to them would be to see how many holes you can punch in their story to see if they made it up for an insurance scam.
Lets be honest, to continue to press the issue of someone having inconsistencies is to question their honesty. To call me slow on the pickup is also an indirect insult thrust in my direction. Your about the most impolite person Ive ever encountered online.
Ok, now.. to be more specific.
The elders and others already knew we were 'talking' because she had visited my congregation and I had visited hers on a few occasions. She lives in an apartment with her two older sisters, age 20 and 21. Her older sister was also dating my friend at the time, so often we would go visit together and double date because it was more fun in groups and it is also encouraged to be in groups. So yes, it is 3 girls in an apartment. Her family nor anyone else knew that I and my friend had spent the night on a few occasions with their invite, and that even on a few occasions I spent the night by myself with her on her invite. We just enjoyed one anothers company and it was a 90minute drive home for me, so often I would stay.
Now, when her mother found out that I had spent the night, she made the story up that we had been drinking, that I slept in her bed with her, and forced myself upon her. What other reason would she make this up other than to make herself look like being a Pioneer she would NEVER allow a man to spend the night with her? To save face.
Her mother gave her the ultimatum that either she would go to the elders about it, or that her mother would. I learned this from her older sister. Then she told her elders this story as soon as possible, and I knew nothing of it. I had just went home thinking all was as usual.
When I had called her two days later she even had the audacity to lie to me on the phone and tell me that her friend was in a car accident and she would be out of town. I believed it at the time hook-line-and-sinker, but little did I know it was an all-out-lie so she could avoid me until the elders had their way with me. I didnt learn about this until later, when I angrily confronted her and her family and brought this accident up, when her mother said "what accident?" but somehow justified a blatant lie because it was the elders who told her to avoid me.
So I went to my meeting. Sitting in the audience as usual, most of you know how it goes. Tapped on the shoulder, "your wanted in the back". Not expecting anything bad, I walk to the back pretty casually.
When I walk in 3 elders are sitting there. This is where it got ugly, I personally believe your guilty until proven innocent, and that the perspective is not only skewed to the person who goes blabbing first, but also to a woman. Ever notice how so often the woman gets reproved or nothing, and the guy gets DF'd?
Paraphrasing what was said because Ill never forget that night.
"Have a seat"
"Its come to our attention some inappropriate events have taken place between you and Celeste (her name) anything you wanna tell us about?"
Dumbfounded I said no not particularly.
"Is it true that youve been spending the night there rather frequently?" Now consider they werent interested in the fact that she had invited me to spend the night, that she WANTED me to spend the night, that she allowed me to spend the night, only that I was in fact there.
I was honest, I said yes I had.
I am 21, she is underage to be drinking.
"Is it true that you drank alcoholic beverages while there?"
Honest, yes we did.
"Did you or her get drunk" (drunkenness is also a grounds for DF)
No, I did not get drunk, she got pretty buzzed though.
Did you sleep in the same room as her?
"Yes I slept in the same bed, we often did, its better than sleeping on the floor, besides she invited me to sleep in her bed!" (This was the case every time I spent the night there. I always slept in the bed, I wasnt gonna sleep on the hardwood floor)
Then COMF, is when it got to the part you sought clarification on, and when these questions hit, it thunderstruck me. Resoundingly untrue, but they kept asking very specific questions, with seemingly no regard for my emotions.
"Did you force yourself upon her?" NO
Even after I said no, they had already received confirmation from me that I was in the same bed and she was buzzed, so like friggin police detectives they asked
Did she resist you? Did you touch her private parts? You know thats porneia dont you? Did you commit porneia?"
NO, NO, NO, NO.
Well her body of elders has contacted us and informed us she states you took advantage of her while there. That she tried to resist you, and that being a pioneer she would never allow herself to commit something like that.
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To anyone reading, is it more clear now why I am angry? And is this perhaps a little more detailed so as to provide clarification for your inquiries? COMF, Im sure youll find some inconsistency here, lawyers work wonders in twisting the truth so that it fits their agenda. I dont have reason to sit here and fabricate anything on an online board. I came across this website with the intent of at least talking and venting, not having my integrity questioned. Like it or not, your statements have questioned my integrity. I fully expect you to reply with some sarcastic remark or glaring inconsistency youve uncovered. Your a pretty rude guy you know that. If someone was indeed a victim of being lied about, used, abused, or something of the sort, your the kind when they are just pouring out their heart telling their story, your more interested in intricate details and inconsistencies, often making them feel as if you are somehow blaming them; when they are just venting, in need of encouragement or acknowledgment, and you provide just the opposite.
So I say to you, if you are indeed going to reply to this post, and I know that you will.. you strike me as the type who likes the last word and to feel important, either say something kind and encouraging, or say nothing at all. If you sit here and try to poke inconsistencies in what Ive said, I will just ignore you from this point forward. That clear enough for you? If your indeed capable of saying something kind. I have no problem being thorough and telling what happened, in fact I feel a little better just typing it away and posting it for the world to see, its out there and not building up in my stomach ya know? But I wont tolerate being insulted (slow on the pickup) nor having my integrity questioned (make it look questionable all by itself)
So COMF, over the last few months of things Ive tolerated, I say this. Say something nice, or shut the hell up. Any further instigating or rude remarks from you will be disregarded.
The true Kingdom of God is located in your heart, not an organization of hypocrites.
www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/Jason1.html for my new webpage and info!! Im trying to live now!!
