Black Families & Shunning

by snowbird 87 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  minimus

  Slavery has ended for a couple of years now. I don't think that feeling is hardwired.

  I just think black families are smarter. No one's gonna tell them they can't talk to their kin.
• 

  snowbird

  I made the reference to slavery because hard times draw people even closer. They look out for each other more.

  Agreed?

  Sylvia
• 

  VIII

  My family has been in this organization since the early 1900s. They were taught to shun anyone who is not. This has had far reaching and devestating effects. My own mother speaks to me because of her own issues with her own immediate family. This could change any moment. That I know.

  As for race: The congs we attended had some black and some latino families. They didn't seem to mind shunning their family members who left. However, they were being closely watched by the elders so they might have been putting on a good show.
• 

  undercover

  I made the reference to slavery because hard times draw people even closer. They look out for each other more.

  Agreed?

  I do agree, but no one today was personally affected by slavery. I would agree that Jim Crow laws and segregation may have helped cause families to rely on each other more during the 1900s which would have an impact on families today, only a generation or two removed from the last of that time period. But we're far enough removed from slavery that that experience isn't intertwined in how people react or think today as much.
• 

  snowbird

  I know of one family who allowed a grown DF'd member to continue to live in their home.

  When other JW's would visit, she simply made herself scarce.

  Economically, times are hard here and many have a difficult time making ends meet.

  I know I would NEVER turn my children away - no matter what anyone else said.

  Sylvia
• 

  mindmelda

  My husband's family, thankfully, was never any good at shunning DF'd members, including my husband's father even though they claim 3 generations of Witnesses. They have a mixed background of Native American and Creole influences, as well as Italian. They're a very close family and that closeness seemed to offset the demand that they shun their two DF'd sons, which they never really did.

  Of course, my own family aided and allowed my DF'd brother to move in, which cost my dad being a elder, basically, so my own family tends to ignore what doesn't suit them either. LOL Blood is sometimes thicker than dogma, apparently.
• 

  snowbird

  UC, my maternal great grandmother was born a slave on a plantation in Dalllas County Alabama.

  I can only find her listed by her first name in the 1850 census.

  She died in 1883 while giving birth to my grandmother.

  My grandmother died in 1987, at the age of 104. She was completely illiterate; was widowed, sharecropped all her life, never owned a place to call her own, and was completely dependent on her grandchildren.

  I don't know anything of my maternal grandfather, save that his parents were slaves on a plantation in Mississippi, and that he died leaving my grandmother penniless.

  My paternal grandparents both died before I was born. The little information I've gleaned on them is that 3 of their parents were also slaves, my paternal grandfather being sired by the plantation owner.

  I will graciously allow you and others to connect the dots.

  Sylvia
• 

  caliber

  During slavery, at the master's whim, many families were broken up, with members oftentimes never seeing each other again. Post-slavery conditions were so harsh that it behooved all family members to stick together for survival. I believe this tradition of keeping the family close has all but negated the WT shunning directives

  .

  I do believe that family attitudes are shaped by life events and are passed down the generations ....yes even

  centuries ! For example just this summer we had a family Reunion of sorts all the generations down to the present

  from my grandmother (my grand father died young was not to much in the scene )

  Many of my female cousins now from their forties and older talked about the lack of hugging and affection shown

  by my grandmother (she meant to harm but was just down to business trying to raise 9 children without a husband)

  They all agreed that this distance , this lack a hugging affected them and their whole family.. influenced their

  ability to openly display affection for their families even though they dearly love them !

  Caliber
• 

  snowbird

  Caliber, I believe the word is legacy.

  Thank you.

  Sylvia
• 

  undercover

  I will graciously allow you and others to connect the dots.

  Connect them where? How does the experiences of people two and three generations ago directly affect you today?

  Let me share some of my family history. My great grandmother was Cherokee, married (common law anyway) to an Irish immigrant who came to NY and drifted South. No records of him before arriving. No records of her family. All we have is a grainy photo taken of them sometime after they were together. I never knew my great grandfather. He died before I was born. My great grandmother lived to a ripe old age but never spoke of her life prior to hooking up with her husband. They were dirt poor...my great grandmother lived in a hovel, the only heat from a pot-bellied stove. Visiting her was like going back in time or visiting a movie set of the great depression.

  While I am cognizant of some of the history of my family, most of it typical great depression misery, their misery and hard times does not directly affect me today. I can appreciate what they went through, I can recognize the toils and hardships but it doesn't change that I'm not affected by the great depression nor hard times share-cropping or standing in soup lines. I'm too far removed for it to make a difference.