Black Families & Shunning (page 3)

Confession

I have definitely noticed that black JW families tend to be more open to communication with DFd family members. Probably the more a family has gravitated away from their culture and toward absolute acceptance of the cult, the more you may see them in lock-step with the organization. Yes, I've seen very hard-core, black JWs shun family--and I've seen white JWs fail to shun them. But, on the whole, I think African-American families just can't stomach turning their backs on family.

snowbird

UC, let's just agree to disagree, shall we?

I've noticed, and so have other posters, that Black families seem more closely connected, that notwithstanding the WT, some adamantly refuse to shun their DF'd members.

Although reasons for this may be as varied as the families, I've merely opined my thoughts on the matter.

Sylvia

snowbird

Exactly, Confession.

Case in point: I know a JW who absolutely refuses to have nothing to do with her DF'd "baby" sister, although this "baby" is 35 years of age!

Her reckoning: This is MY sister, whom I took care of as an infant. I could never cut her out of my life!

I don't blame her.

Sylvia

undercover

Yep, we'll have to agree to disagree...

...cause I don't buy into the notion of one race of families being closer together than another because of some past hardship they alone endured.

babygirl75

Not to get into ya'lls debate....but I think Sylvia was just using "slavery" as a possible reason as to why black families have a connection, not that being the sole reasoning. That's how I took it anyway.

snowbird

That's it, Baby Girl.

I also invited anyone who had a different perspective to please share it.

There's a reason behind everything, and I'm receptive to any and all.

Sylvia

snowbird

Oh, another thing.

I'm nowhere advocating that Black families alone have endured hardships.

Please, let's not allow this to turn into a my-pain-is-greater-than-your-pain free for all.

Thanks.

Sylvia

sweet pea

@Undercover - I suggest you read Malcolm Gladwell's book 'Outliers' - in it he discusses the implications of legacy due to events in the past; it is quite an eye opener. Great book.

Confession

UC, as Snowbird wrote...

"Although reasons for this may be as varied as the families..."

For me, I don't seem to need to know why. I've just always noticed it's the way (generally) things have been. I also observed that, in most inner-city, black congregations, there was a lot more "reaching out," that is to say personal, warm hugs, touching, etc. Do you see this among many white families too? Sure. But if you were to single out which people tend to do this more than others, I think you'd see it among families where there's been a history of hardship. And, although many white families have experienced this too, there's a great denisty of it among African American families.

Don't misunderstand me. I think MANY of us tend to allow former hardships to define our present--and this is to our detriment and not ultimately healthy. And I'm not saying this makes black families any more "loving" or "caring." I think it just means there is a strong desire to "cling" together, and thus a somewhat greater resistance to someone trying to separate them. (I mean, if I had to offer an opinion as to why.)

quietlyleaving

snowbird your points make sense for lotsa different reasons, but mainly I think the experience of having one's autonomy restricted then and now affects how one perceives and responds to further restrictions on autonomy. Another factor is to do with the desire for emotional connectedness above adhereing to abstract principles.

edit: I think it would be really nice if we had a little less individualism and a little more communitarianism

Black Families & Shunning

Share this