Can't believe I am doing this

by rockmehardplace 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • monte-christo
    monte-christo

    hello all, long time sins i was writning here, i was under the name " happy man", now i have a new one as you see.

    Intresting that things that you tell are exatlythe same,fore mee

    "What I can tell you is that when you shift your focus from upholding the 'organization' and its rules, to supporting the people, you earn a remarkable peace of mind. That's how I stay in (I have my reasons) and even hold responsabilities as an elder: I just stopped caring about the WTS and its representatives. I don't hate them, I don't antagonize them... I simply ignore them. I care for the people. I know that down the road I'll be put in a situation were I won't be able to hide my real beliefs. I'll cross that bridge when I reach that river."

    I have reach that river,and perhaps I am in the middel of the bridge now, and dont know if <i will reach the other side?

    As it was from my one life, elder fore over 20 years and in the last year trying to do just what you say, and also expose some very bad things done by my fellow elers in ths cong, it all ended upp in a mess, difficult to describe here, widh a lot of tragikal things, happend, suddenly it was mee as was the bad one, was treting widh dfd, if I talk about what i know.

    then i know something was wrong, i have the same situation as some of you describe here, faded, no motre mettings and a devoted wife, who still are aktiv.

    it is inn some way unbelivebel that Ihave exatly the same expiriens as many of you living so fare away, from US, the system work in the same way all over the world i think

    love MC

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    Hello and welcome. It's nice to make your acquaintance.

  • StAnn
    StAnn

    Welcome aboard!

    Just count your blessings you weren't raised a JDub. You had enough of a normal childhood to actually have some experience using logic and reasoning and thinking for yourself.

    Fasten your seat belt. You're in for the ride of your life.

    St. Ann

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Yes, the term witless is applying more these days than ever. Once upon a time, they were at least a little intellectually challenging, and somewhat intelligent comments were tolerated as long as they didn't attack the subject or go too far off topic. These days, however, you just about have to read the parts in the words of the paragraph or risk a trip to the back room.

    So much for being upbuilt--true, Jesus sought to upbuild and to help people become self leaders. None of that is going on within the Washtowel Slaveholdery--they are tearing and beating down what they should be building up. They do not want anyone to become self leaders--so much they are worried about stumbling others (if one was actually leading oneself, that one would be almost impossible to stumble).

  • lettib74
    lettib74

    Welcome and thank you for sharing your experience. Listen to your gut...if is doesn't looke like cake, taste like cake or smell like cake....guess what? It ain't cake!!!

    Seriously though, I had it easy so to speak...I was Df'd going on 17 years now. I think it would have stayed a lot longer had I not been given the boot since my family is all JW. It's hard to want to please so many people, it's hard to not want to hurt anyone. It took years for me to realize that I don't need approval to be happy. I am living this life for me and not my family. Once I fugured that out, the weight was gone. It is not an easy road you are about to take, but man is it worth the ride.

    Love and happieness to you my friend! Stay strong and keep your mind open!!!!

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    I appreciate the opportunity to let go of my frustrations here with ones who have similar experiences.

    Welcome. Glad we can be here for you, since we do understand.

  • screwproof
    screwproof

    Welcome and your post is a lot like I feel as well.

    I have to ask all of you one question. If you have been inactive for years and years, would you DA yourself or just leave it as it is and continueyour life? Do I have to DA myself, or can I just keep on like I am doing and just not go to meetings.

  • LUKEWARM
    LUKEWARM

    Welcome rockmehardplace!

    Loved your comment:

    “…as I break free I can only hope my wife will eventually too. Yes, I still believe in God and have a spiritual need. That need I have found is not satisfied or can be manipulated by the board room in NY. I know that there will be a breaking point for me, I just have to get to that point and I know it is building up to it. Eventually I will need to make the decision.

    I am in a similar position in that Mrs Lukewarm and I are reaching our own cross roads. We are currently trying to help our friends get to know the real truth while we are still around…

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/175750/1/Advice-please-Would-you-loan-your-copy-of-e2809cCrisis-of-Consciencee2809d-to-your-JW-friends-or-create-awareness-curiosity-about-its-existence

    What has really helped us see the serious flaws the organization faces is answer the question: “where else to go” was reading “Crisis of Conscience” and “In Search of Christian Freedom” both written by a former governing body member Raymond Franz.

    Some background info:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raymond_Franz

    Purchase books here: http://www.commentarypress.com/Publication/English.html

    They are a must for you and you wife…

    Related to your point winstonchurchill:

    I know that down the road I'll be put in a situation were I won't be able to hide my real beliefs. I'll cross that bridge when I reach that river.”

    I am in a similar position – plan for it and don’t play by their rules. This link may be of help to you

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/34518/1/On-The-Art-Of-Fading

    Wishing it turns out the way you want it to!

    Best wishes

    Lukewarm

  • coffee_black
    coffee_black

    Happy man.... I remember you! So glad to see you here again! Welcome back!

    Coffee

  • donnye
    donnye

    VIII Your comment - "Thanks for sharing and with every post you make you'll feel a little bit better."

    This is really true for me. Posting comments on subjects that hit a nerve and are important to me, is actually making me feel at peace again with Jah. I guess it is the relief of 'getting things off my chest' without being grassed up to the elders for having a different viewpoint to them. I am no longer angry with God - He must be miffed with the elders who were intent on bullying me into doing whatever makes life easier for them, too.

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