by sspo 60 Replies latest social relationships
My ex got remarried without a letter from me. I did go through the stage of her wanting a letter though. She just basically convinced the elders that i had committed adultery, the reality was that she had, which i only recently found out 10 years on.
If you do write a letter and end up getting d'fed, you then have the potential of losing your daughters who are still JW's.
Paul
My last post was meant for "White Dove".....Not "SnowBird"........................OUTLAW
SSPO,
If you think that your common life with your jw ex wife belongs to the past and that there is no chance whatsoever that you resume it, it would be a nice and kind move on your part to give her back her freedom along her own rules. In doing so you will just manifest a generous non revengeful nature, well above petty schemes and you will be the winner.
Hi all, first time posting here .
SSPO, unfortunately no matter what you choose to do, you can't control how your daughters will react. If you have good relationship with them, they can by choice continue to have dealings with you as their father, DF'd or not. If they choose to consider you solely by religious standards and not by flesh and blood, then you will have to hope that one day they mature enough to realize the gravity of allowing any organization to dictate to them how they deal with such situations.
If you did nothing to warrant being DF'd why would you admit to anything that would give her the freedom to remarry? It's not being vindictive as someone mentioned, it's being truthful. If she truly loves her god she will accept the consequences of her own beliefs.
If you asked me “Would you make an exception and give her what she wants” Yes, under the following condition, monetary hardship, meaning if I knew she was having a hard time meeting her personal financial obligations, and I knew her getting remarried would be the solution, then I would gladly give her a letter, even if it was a lie. Since your not a practicing JW, you lose nothing at the end of the day. Call it a humanitarian act. You may suffer the unfortunate consequences, but your conscience will be clean.
BTW there’s nothing wrong with writing your daughters stating the facts, and leave it up to them to decide how they want to deal with it. I am assuming they are adults and can handle the truth.
Best of luck no matter what you decide.
Welcome to the forum, Atomahawk.
I separated and later obtained a divorce from my JW ex. I mentioned to my lawyer that such a request may eventually come up. Her reply was that I should never submit to such a request. Any sexual activity, or lack thereof, is absolutely no one's business after the day of separation. Legally, in Ontario, it cannot be considered adultery if it took place after the date of separation.
You are not preventing her from remarrying. Her belief in the watchtower cult is doing that. Sex is a very personal thing, and you don't have to explain your activity to every asswipe who asks.
If she insists she has a right to know, tell her to get a court of law to subpoena the information from you. See how far she gets.
W
I cannot see what the J W wife was hoping to gain from this, since she has already a seperation and that is all that the dubs allow unless adultery has taken place.
"Gods Love book, 2008 p 221
"In certain extreme situations, some Christians have decided to separate from or divorce a marriage mate even though that one has not committed fornication. In such a case, the Bible stipulates that the departing one “remain unmarried or else make up again.” (1 Corinthians 7:11) Such a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage. (Matthew 5:32) Consider here a few exceptional situations that some have viewed as a basis for separation....................
Absolute
endangerment of spiritual life. A spouse may constantly try to make it impossible for the mate to pursue true worship or may even try to force that mate to break God’s commands in some way. In such a case, the threatened mate would have to decide whether the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men” is to obtain a legal separation.—Acts 5:29."Was she hoping for something more juicy? ..Any letter that did not admit adultery would not give her a "Scriptural divorce"
BTW Renaia's comments were on the ball and did not deserve the flaming...but I guess she is used to it..
(what is with the formatting today?)
Was she hoping for something more juicy? ..Any letter that did not admit adultery would not give her a "Scriptural divorce"
BLUESBROTHER
Actually she asked me to write a letter and not saying anything about adultery but just that i dissolve my marriage and she's free to move on.
It could be that certain elders will accept that evidence to allow her to marry, which really is bending the rules.
On the other hand if i don't confess to adultery, how can she have a clean conscience if she remarries unscripturally.
SSPO- My wife and I read your thread here and discussed it in detail bouncing ideas off each other. My current wife ( Mrs. Flipper ) has experience in dealing with my witness ex-wife ( was married 19 years ) maligning my relationship with my adult daughters in any way she can. My wife said it could be that your ex-wife has ulterior motives in influencing you to give her a " scriptural divorce " so she can appear like the upright " spiritual " person to the elders thus making you look like the " sinner " to your daughters and others. So this may just be a power play to drive a wedge between you and your daughters. Don't fall for it. As others here have said- if your ex-wife wants scriptural grounds let HER tell the elders SHE has committed adultery with someone ! LOL! Ain't gonna happen. If she's like my witness ex-wife - she wants to appear like the clean virtuous JW to the elders.
Of course - 2 can play this game. You asked " How can she have a clean conscience if she remarries unscripturally " ? How do you know she HAS a clean conscience ? Since she seems desperate to get you to look like the adulterer- perhaps she has gotten nookie on the side and is just trying to salve her " conscience " ? Whatever HER circumstance is - let HER make the move to free herself up how she needs to. Don't allow her manipulation of you to influence your relationship with your daughters. I know all about this as my ex-wife has totally tried turning my daughters against me. Unfortunately like Satan she's been pretty successful up until now. Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
She is SOOOO seeing someone already!! And its another JW I guarantee it. Why else would she NEED this letter?
DO NOT WRITE IT.
My father who screwed around on my mother a FULL 10 years before running off with his hussy and dumping my mother, married this pitbull and then turned around and asked my mother to sign a piece of paper from the CATHOLIC CHURCH to ANNUL his 25 year marriage to my mother! Asked her to SIGN THAT!!! What the FUUUUUU?????? Just so that his VERY holy pitbull ho girlfriend could get married IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH!!
No FFFFFFFF ing way did she sign that!!
And neither should YOU
