Ex jw wife

by sspo 60 Replies latest social relationships

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  flipper

  Bump de bump
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  AudeSapere

  sspo wrote: Actually she asked me to write a letter and not saying anything about adultery but just that i dissolve my marriage and she's free to move on.

  Divorce papers show that the marriage is dissolved. No letter needed.

  The 'free to move on' part is where you would be implying / admitting that you have already taken actions that make her free. In JW world, you have had sex outside of this marriage and she is now free to re-marry. No sex, not free.

  And like Flipper said, she can have sex and free herself. I've seen it in a few congregations and read about it here.

  If you write that she is 'free to move on' they will interpret those words to mean that you are admitting to an action that fits their definition of adultery.

  -Aude.

  Having trouble adjusting the font size. Why does it shrink when I make a cut-and-paste quote???
• 

  coffee_black

  I divorced my jw husband. I did not date...did not even go out for a cup of coffee with a man for over 4 years after the divorce. During that time, I daed. He threatened to sue me when I told a relative that I had NOT had sex following the divorce. He was dating within 6 months of the divorce, and let everyone assume that I had given him scriptural grounds. I told him I had every right to give an account for my own behavior to anyone I chose to....and maybe I was the one who should be suing him for defamation of character.

  Coffee
• 

  AudeSapere

  He threatened to sue me when I told a relative that I had NOT had sex following the divorce. He was dating within 6 months of the divorce, and let everyone assume that I had given him scriptural grounds.

  JWs make this HUGE assumption that once you leave the 'protection' of the org, you will go off the deep end and become totally irresponsible, drink, smoke, do drugs and have sex with anyone and anything.

  Rarely will they give any thought that maybe someone left BECAUSE they have scruples and principles.

  -Aude.
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  loosie

  The fact that Reniaa is advising you to write the letter should be conclusive proof that you should not write it.

  I agree with Mr churchill on this one. Don't write it especially if you still have a relationship with your JW daughters.
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  sspo

  Aude,

  I have a feeling that nowdays that elders are loosening up on their standards and make whatever decision

  they like, such as in my ex-wife situation, if they like a person the can easily bend the rules.

  Even if i would write such a letter, i doubt that after 3 years they will come after me

  and i can always deny adultery since it was never put in writing.

  For now i'm not planning on writing the letter.
• 

  Rocky_Girl

  Renaii:Your children are witnesses and they will just think you are being vindictive if you refuse but this all hinges on whether your wife truly has grounds for divorce in god's eyes

  Look at this carefully and weigh the consequences.

  Either have your children think you are vindictive, but still have the choice to talk to you, or get df'ed by writing a confession of a df'able offense and make it so they are forbidden to speak with you.

  If your ex tried hard to get you df'ed before and did not succeed, what makes you think that she will not push for it again, this time with proof?

  JWs like nice squared off corners and no loose threads. She wants to be free to remarry a JW. Being able to say that her 'ex' is DF and a bad guy makes her te JW equivalent of a virgin.

  You left the org, you are free of their 'rules'

  Angie
• 

  ldrnomo

  So here is my 2 cents.

  Send her all of the WT articles you can find about the advantages of being single and pioneering tell her after prayerful consideration and much study of what the Faithful has directed you think she would be happier being single and pioneering and possibly becoming a missionary.

  So you feel you are doing her a favor "an answer from Jehovah" if you will by not freeing her to remarry.

  LD
• 

  Quandry

  Send her all of the WT articles you can find about the advantages of being single and pioneering tell her after prayerful consideration and much study of what the Faithful has directed you think she would be happier being single and pioneering and possibly becoming a missionary.

  Oh, I like this answer!!!! That is hilarious.

  Not speaking to her mother for seventeen years is not funny. That is heartbreaking.

  Even after a legal divorce, you cannot free yourself from this person. She still feels that you "owe" her a letter. Of course, after you write such a letter, and the elders disfellowship you for supplying confirmation that you have "slept with a woman" other than your former wife, then she will shun you completely. She will first, of course, show the letter to several in the congregation, as proof that you are "sinful" and that she is not.

  Yes, please go with ldrnomo's suggestion. This woman wants to be a hardline JW-she has chosen her path. You can help her continue on it.
• 

  Satanus

  'this all hinges on whether your wife truly has grounds for divorce in god's eyes.'

  Well, let god advise her, then. He sees all things, yanow.

  S, going back to ignoring rainna