I live with little respect from my mate ...

by The Berean 30 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  The Berean

  I have been married for over 30 years to a woman who was as good as I could have realistically hoped for and I probably am as good as she could have hoped for.

  Yet, over time, she has become less and less willing to respect my experience and conclusions concerning life. The signs of disrespect are a knee-jerk reaction to doubt and correct my point of view even before I complete a thought or sentence. While some of that can be seen in her Mother and may be conditioned, my departure from the organizartion and her continued dedication to same has amplified her apparent inner distain. It's quite clear for me to see. For instance, should an elder makes a suggestion, she smiles and readily complies, even when their seems to make little sense. Should I make a similar suggestion, her facial response is just the opposite. No words are exchanged, she simply tunes me out.

  So, is my situation unique? Do others tolerate such relationships because the pluses still outweigh the minuses. Is it ever too late to walk away and live what's left alone?
• 

  mouthy

  According to one of the latest Wt she is obeying "Mother"

  I was called a week or so ago & they read to me part of the WT where it was telling wives
  they must obey Jehovah( the mouthpeice at the front spouting Jahs words) & they do NOT
  have to obey their husbands, Unlike when I was a JW we were told we MUST obey hubby
  & mine wasnt a JW. But the elders told me I must obey him,UNLESS he told me to do something.
  that was OUT of Jehovahs Will. ( That meant I must do all except what the Brothers? told me to do).
  So your wife is probably seeing your indifference to some of the WT teachings & wants to obey
  the WT.
  What a pity after so many years of your marriage, you wondering if it is worth it.
  I am so sorry to read this. Good luck my friend
• 

  The-Borg

  I wouldn't tolerate that. Would she?

  Talk to her about her behaviour.
• 

  Chalam

  Hi B,

  If she really was following the bible she would do what this says

  1 Peter 3 (New International Version)

  1 Peter 3

  Wives and Husbands

  1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. All the best, Stephen
• 

  Scully

  Join the club.
• 

  mrsjones5

  I tune my hubby out sometimes, not because I don't respect him (I do) but because he can me quite talky at times and sometimes my ears get overloaded.

  Josie
• 

  Satanus

  Interesting point by sista jones. Maybe, you talk too much:) On the other hand, if the lady i was w didn't respect me, i wouldn't be there for any longer than it took to get my things together and organized and get out of there.

  S.
• 

  The Berean

  mouthy, I think you got it!

  Thanx
• 

  moshe

  Go to marriage counseling. If you are lucky your wife will go two times, tops. You will find out what you want to do, friend- you already know what you're missing.
• 

  rebel8

  Personally I always found that submission crap--from the Bible, litter-ature, or from a penis person's lips--terribly offensive.

  She may be compliant with what the elders tell her and look like she is ok with it, but she doesn't seem to really feel it. Her true feelings about obeying males may be evident from her behavior toward you.

  If that's the case, quoting books that say, "I'm the boss of you, you small-brained/weak-muscled/subordinate rib woman," is probably not going to achieve the outcome you desire.

  Maybe try saying specific things like, "When you roll your eyes when I make a suggestion, that hurts me and makes me question whether you love and respect me."