A little advice needed on disassociating myself (page 4)

KAYTEE

misfitmel,

The way I, and I must say this is only my thoughts would play it .

I would explain that my absence from you "mum" and home has caused me to be a little bit spiritually low, therefor it might be good for me, now I am back, to have a top up, "Scriptural Top up by way of a bible study with you mum present and an elder taking it.

Then through the course of the study you can have a field day asking all the relevant points and queries you have, without getting yourself at loggerheads with your mum, this will allow mum to see things she may not know anything about, it will also let the elder show whether he will lie his way out of questions, your mum might just see him squirm !!

Whatever way you go good luck to you,

Now that’s something we couldn’t say when in the Org.

KT

MisfitMeL

Chris : Yes it's very tempting to blurt out everything, but you're right, it immediately shows you as an apostate and everything goes tits up after that. I will try to do a lot of reading over the next few days and take notes, so that I can be armed with a few questions. I have no idea how I'm going to handle all of this or even know what to say, but I'm hoping for some inspiration!

What's in the July Awake? I have no contact with any JW or the KH so I have no idea how to get a hold of a copy She texted me last night to get some of the latest CDs and DVDs etc... I have absolutely no idea how to get hold of those. I'll just have to make up some excuse as usual.

Vinny : Thanks for the link! There are some very good points that could subtly include in conversations with my mum if I ever have to...

Willyloman : My mum and I aren't close at all. We don't have a very good relationship because I hardly ever talk to her unless it's about something mundane. I don't open up to her or have any deep discussions because of the way she reacts to things, which means as a child I learned to just not say anything personal. I'm not completely financially independent, so until I am, I will do my best to keep my head down and not stir things up too much, even though she is quite a drama queen. I think establishing boundaries should be the primary concern and I hope she'll swallow my excuses for not attending as smoothly as possible.

Thanks for your experiences Freddo and JustHuman. Thanks for the suggestion Kaytee. I'm not sure if I'm up to a major scriptural discussion with an Elder. I can see my mum taking any JW's side because they are her only friends.

Thinking about all this is stressful enough I hope I can say the right thing when the time comes as I have a way of messing things up when I get very emotional.

Black Sheep

There are some JPGs of it here, but an original copy would be much better.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/bible/174959/1/No-One-Should-Be-Made-to-Choosee280a6-LIES-from-July-09-Awake

It is very recent, so it is unlikely that she doesn't have a copy. BUT.... don't take any chances.

If you see a JW outside the Tube, ask them for a copy.

....and pop in any time for help.

Cheers

Chris

Black Sheep

....and please don't go waltzing in to mum's house announcing that you are an ex JW.

Gently

Please.

I wish someone had the opportunity to tell me that before I unloaded my new found 'light' on my family.

Cheers

Chris

MisfitMeL

Thanks Chris! I've printed out the JPGs and I will try to grab a copy if I bump into any JWs... my mum should have it too, and if not, it's probably easy enough to get a hold of..

What a hypocritical article!! A few years ago, I would have read it and let it all wash over me... Knowing what I know now, it really makes me angry at how two faced the org can be with they smooth lies and soothsayings. I genuinely pity all the naive people who join without a clue of what lies ahead. I was raised in the faith since I was about two years old, so pretty much born into it... I think the born ins are more likely to leave probably because we never really had a choice in the first place!

MisfitMeL

Sorry to hear about your experience Chris :(

I will certainly be on my guard and reserved about my stance. Even if I won't attend the meetings, I will hold back from unleashing everything I know. Thank you for the advice. I'm glad I posted here before going off and doing something hasty!

Black Sheep

I would love to give you a big fat hug before you go home, but this will have to do...

(((((((MisfitMeL))))))))

Take care.

Chris

Black Sheep

You have a PM.

Click on the envelope, top right.

Cheers

Chris

rebel8

Your mother sounds so similar to mine!

"I don't want to" is a good enough reason for not going to meetings. Everything else is potential ammunition for disciplinary action.

Scarred for life

My mum and I aren't close at all. We don't have a very good relationship because I hardly ever talk to her unless it's about something mundane. I don't open up to her or have any deep discussions because of the way she reacts to things, which means as a child I learned to just not say anything personal. I'm not completely financially independent, so until I am, I will do my best to keep my head down and not stir things up too much, even though she is quite a drama queen. I think establishing boundaries should be the primary concern and I hope she'll swallow my excuses for not attending as smoothly as possible.

MisftitMeL:

I really relate to your relationship with your mother. I wouldn't have called my mother a drama queen but in everything else you say I had a similar relationship with my mom.

I would just ask you again if you have any other possible alternatives to living with your mother? You are in a very difficult situation. Not being financially independent and being 25-26 years old. I agree with the above poster about getting 2 jobs and becoming financially independent as soon as possible. Can you get any money from your father to maybe help you pay for a room to live in until you find a job and are able to pay your own way?

I think it would be much easier to possibly form a better relationship with your mother if you do not live with her. I don't think your mother is going to change. You may be able to communicate better with her if you do not live with her.

Don't D/A. Just fade. Establish very soon that you are an adult and you make your own decisions about how you spend your time and what your religious beliefs are.

I will be thinking of you and wishing you well.

This economy stinks doesn't it?

A little advice needed on disassociating myself

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