Well, he can call us Satan all day long, but it doesn't change the fact that our advice is worthy. It's not his fault. He is taught that things that come from others are from satan. His walls go up instantly! I'll stand outside and wait patiently till he gets his wall down again and remind him it's a safe haven out here. How about you? he's already miffed at you, but that can change if you do. If he cannot accpet you then, just let it be. Same for me. He may tell me I am Demon Girl or something. I can handle it. Been called worse.
IF it is NOT wise for a man to be ALONE with a woman he's NOT married to
by Spike Tassel 275 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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isaacaustin
LOL Yeah I have been called worse too.
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bohm
damn right crimson. this thread gave me a bad taste in the mouth untill i read what you wrote. spike: the answer is inside you.
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Rabbit
Well.
CrimsonBleu, I don't know if you're right about Spike, but if you are, and he really has AS and is not a troll...I have to say I am very impressed by your compassion, empathy & knowledge. I teased him on another thread and now I don't feel so good about myself.
We're all unique and should give each other some leeway in our outlooks and beliefs.
Spike, to balance things a bit: Crimson told you the answer was in Psalms. I submit that you consider THE WHOLE WORLD of human experience, philosophy and yes, even religion -- not just the Bible. You will be surprised (I think) at the vast wealth of answers you'll find written by non-religious people.
Good hunting!
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WuzLovesDubs
Spike...I disagree with those who say you cant be reproved unless you are baptized. I WAS reproved. I was "dating" a guy who was a born in JW, and the first NIGHT we went to bed together (worldly desperate person that I was) and he made no mention of it being "against his religion" conveniently, until later. And thats how I got involved with the JWs. However after studying (with his annointed mother no less) I realized what HE had been doing was forbidden all along and mentioned it to an elder who went ballistic. Several MONTHS of JCs ensued, involving a whole network of JWs all covering for each others double lives. And the Presiding Overseer told me that he could not PUBLICLY reprove me, but as an unbaptized publisher he COULD and DID privately reprove me, removing me from answering in the meetings or going out in service and speaking at doors for six months.
So, again...even if you are not officially a baptized JW, if it is your INTENT to become one, and you are already going to meetings, studying...singing...doing whatever it takes to become one eventually, you need to understand and abide by their rules, cacameemee as they may be...in order to be eligible for baptism. They look at your total life style when they assess you for candidacy. Your chosen dating partner will have to be of the same mind as you are for this to work. She has to desire to be in subjection to their rules of conduct as well.
If she isnt...you will only be stopping your own progress and you have to consider if its worth it to you.
Thats the reality of it. You are entitled to happiness in your life, Aspergers or not.
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kurtbethel
Spike, there is a term among christians for when a man and woman are alone together.
It is sometimes known as "serving the LORD".
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CrimsonBleu
It's ok Rabbit.
I am good at recognizing the little things that are 'give-aways' in someone who is different than what most term as 'normal', whatever that is. If he is a troll, he is a well rehearsed one, and for the life of me i have no idea what he'd be trying to gain. If I am wrong about him, just shoot me now. But I do listen with my heart and it tells me he is real and sometimes what he says doesn't always jive with certain people.
Don't beat yourself up cos it's all in the past. You have a new clean slate before you.
Come on out of hiding Spike, it's cool.
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lurk3r
Spike. Please forgive me if I am reading things wrong here, but from one "social reject" to another, do you feel like you have a hard time "fitting in"?
Also, your original baptism, was it as a Jehovah's Witness?
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aniron
The WT leadership has hammered into all of it's Elders and Rank & File's heads, that it is not wise for a Man to be alone with a woman he is not married too (adult or young woman... ie 14). Even in congregation sanctioned duties.
So, why, then, do so many service pairings involve just THAT: a brother ALONE in the territory (even if it's to make a call) with a sister he's NOT married to?
Going back to this original point.
As to this point about man and a woman being alone with each other , being "hammered" into Elders and R&F JWs.
I never came across it in my congregation, the view of the Elders was, as one said "If you are good servants of Jehovah, then you will behave yourself."
I often was on field service with the girl who became my wife, and occasionally with other sisters.
The view with that was if you are FS then, unless you are going to sneak off somewhere, what are you going to get up to.
I often spent time alone with my girl at either her home or mine.
Also I often visited sisters in their homes, I've known Elders on their own, make shepherding calls on lone sisters.
But as I say this was my congregation, whose Elders, by the way, were real Watchtower men.
What I have learnt over the years is that congregation to congregation can vary greatly.
A small example, in my congregation, brothers could wear any colour shirt, and patterned ties.
In another congregation nearby brothers could only wear white shirts and plain ties.
What one allows another may not, yet they are supposedly following the same rules.
Even with Circuit Overseers I found that one will say "Do this" then the next one will say "Don't do that"
I have been away within the UK, and visited other congregations. Some have been very formal, others vary informal.
One I remember I went to the group study, brothers turned up in T-shirts, or shirts with no tie.
The Elder taking the group sat on the sofa with his two young children, wearing an open necked shirt, no tie.
My wife was horrified by it all you wouldn't dare turn up like that at our group back home.
Also in the years I have been reading experiences on this forum and others.
I have noticed that American congregations seem to be more uptight about "rules" than British ones.
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AllTimeJeff
So, again...even if you are not officially a baptized JW, if it is your INTENT to become one, and you are already going to meetings, studying...singing...doing whatever it takes to become one eventually, you need to understand and abide by their rules, cacameemee as they may be...in order to be eligible for baptism. They look at your total life style when they assess you for candidacy. Your chosen dating partner will have to be of the same mind as you are for this to work. She has to desire to be in subjection to their rules of conduct as well.
WuzLoveDubs is right, and I want to clarify reproof vs "reproof".
In my earlier explanation, I was using the official JW legalese regarding "reproof". For elders, "reproof" is an official mechanism, and can only be officially done when you have an officially baptized publisher in the cross hairs, for an offense that could result in disfellowshipping.
I realize that all this official reproof is bullshit.
Wuz is right, anyone who is associating can be subject to the advice and counsel, whether asked for or not. At worst, if one is an unbaptized publisher, they could be reproved, but unlike a disfellowshipping, it would be announced that such an individual is "no longer an unbaptized publisher". The counsel then would be to have limited association and to view them as a worldly/interested person. Again, limited associatin, supervised at the KH at best.
Sorry for all the bullshit that amounts to the numerous rules of the GB. It used to be my job to know all of this crap.....