by Spike Tassel 275 Replies latest watchtower scandals
As much as the bleeding-hearts would like to be compassionate, you've got to realize that Spike is puting himself out to critisism in a public forum.
I would treat an autistic-rectal-cancer-suffering-limbless-9-year-old boy the same if he appeared in a place that invited intelligent debate. Kid gloves are off, motherfuckers.
The WTS stance is set to fail, as it makes JWs more desparate for the opposite sex and all those things that they cannot have.
For me, witnessing was a great source of physical activity with sisters. There were so many hours spent alone with the same sisters at seclude doorsteps on driving on return visits with no one home that things were bound to and did happen.
I look at it another way though these days. Religion feeds on guilt and all the microscopic rules to make you feel guilty with the other sex are unhealthy and unnatural. Move on and try to find healthy companionship away from people that give their lives over to manipulation by guilt from old men - GB or elders.
All I can say is if this is the way you feel.....
My world doesn't work right without them.
then if you can not function with out them, then stay.....if in your heart you can really say you feel at peace with them, then don't feel guilty. Life may never be as you wish in the congregation with your condition. As they do not understand nor will they take the time to find out what AS is. But if you can be happy with the way things are, who are we to criticize you....Do what will bring you the most happiness. H4o
Thank you, CrimsonBleu (Post 104, 105):— No, I will ALWAYS attend the KH. I told the JC that "I'm an honest man!!!!!" and that they "would see that my regularity of meeting attendance would continue", and that "Jehovah will make me stand", which He is doing, even now, as you see. The years not commenting at the KH have been in preparation for what I'm doing now. I have self-control now, and "a new face" to match.
Actually, I don't expect "fun" except as a nervous defense mechanism. I am glad that Jehovah has blessed me with a voice that sings with all the moods and feelings in it. When others have been harsh to me, sometimes I've sat out the singing. Why betray my disapproval with the harsh ones in my singing; the songs are NOT about the harsh ones. That's done now. I won't meet in their little dungeon: 3 agendas as though they were one, all "looking (as though) through me". I don't even chat with my fleshly FAMILY members in person in such a fashion. Been there, done that, it didn't work, it NEVER has worked. It's ALWAYS one-on-one. Which is why I was even "baptised as a JW" in the FIRST place. The three each met with me one-on-one.
The DF'd sister (the one at my KH whom I refer to in this Topic) supports my expressive singing, and note-taking, and improvements in dress/ grooming with those of her own (though it took a while for her to catch on), though I've never really had much of a conversation with her, since she was under the wing of a pioneer almost as soon as she moved in, and shortly after, the announcement was made. Many gasped then. I was there, as I said I would be. I'm NOT going anywhere. I, for 20 years now, have finally had a REAL Father who answered a prayer, word-for-word, putting the exact words in the sister's mouth, who called on me though I had been marked as a DNC the week before.
Even my dad (who believes in a Jehovah, but one who's a part of a Trinity, with a temperment that is to me quite like isaacaustin's) TRIED TO INSIST me (when he last e-mailed me, over 3 years ago now, as I recall), that I call him "Father". I quoted him back the scripture to call NO man "Father". My dad and I met twice face-to-face since, perhaps for the last time. First, he was all bluster, yelling his piece, then plugging his ears when I said I would keep my fountain sweet; the second time (two years ago), he just talked about business developments, then scurried away like a little rat when I tried to mention another topic.
Like Jesus, any glory I will give will only be to Jehovah (John 17:4), and any glory I will accept will only be from Jehovah (John 17:5). Any other work but proclaiming Jehovah and Jesus Christ and their kingdom work is in vain, and derails me from my purpose in life. Your mention of Psalm 118:8 is SO true. It is along the lines of Acts 5:29, 38-39, which applies to elders gone wild™ just as it did to the Sanhedrin™.
As for CrimsonBleu's Post 106:— It is RESPECTFUL love, and not attempts at conversion, which is WORTHY. Jehovah is THE only one entitled to convert me; not the elders picking wrong scriptures or just plain personal opinions (unsoundly telling me to see psych peoplefor instance). No, only Jehovah is worthy of THAT level of trust.
Thank you, Rabbit (Post 2808), for expressing your feelings. I forgive you, on behalf of those you fell in with. It is easy to get caught up in the mischaracterisations of others. (The public support of the Nazis from 1933-1945 is probably the extreme or that, next to the fickle "crucifixion" of Jesus.) I do find the Internet and the TV and my (growing) reference library to contain many useful facts, even amongst the unwholesome speculation and modern mythology that must be factored out.
to WuzLovesDubs (Post 620): yes, I've heard "private reproof", even since the public announcement, though I didn't see it as such when it was first given. At times, it was one elder with me; at other times three of the four. But, they always refused to consider the Asperger's article, since I haven't been "formally diagnosed with Asperger's". But why would I expose the elders on this (to those who do not even pay lip service to the Bible)? It is bad enough that I am sitting out for MY imperfections. If "I need to understand and abide by their rules", I'll wait till their "rules" are refined into "principles" and take into account who I am. I patiently pray and wait for them to change, and for myself to change in the meantime as I am able, through seeing my own development and maturing of my thought process, especially in my personal expressions and exchanges, both on JWN and elsewhere, including e-mails (which may start as PMs).
At this stage, even "friends" is a tenuous stretch. A study partner for the meetings and WT material is what I'm praying and searching for right now. It would be STUDY sessions of SOME kind. This online exercise is VERY much in line with that. Happiness to me is really a sense of accomplishing what Jehovah wants of me. Understanding how I (and other Aspies) DO things is very good to keep hearing about, since I don't recall ever MEETING face-to-face another Asperger's person. Someone with Down's seems about the closest, although they don't have the verbal or written range that I do. Their trust/attachment or distrust/revulsion is similar to mine, though mine seems to have the ability to be more nuanced. I look at my total life-style TOO, just as the elders do. Now that I've applied for reinstatement twice (at LEAST), I don't see a point in it until I can get some decent association solidified (which is NOW, FINALLY, in process, now that I'm on JWN here).
to CrimsonBleu (Post 109): I was NOT in hiding these last number of hours. I had run out of posts (100 maximum per day) and went on to JWR, slept, did my ADLs (aids to daily living: hygiene, shopping, cooking), and went through my online routine as per usual. Also, this Post has taken perhaps 2½ hours to compose, choosing the right words and reading my Post over and over again to refine my wording, and arrangement of my sentences.
You're so right when you write "Don't beat yourself up cos it's all in the past. You have a new clean slate before you." Even though I WAS stumbled before, when I would hear about Paul "pummeling himself". Now I think of "putting black under the eyes" like football players do (it's part of game-day preparation each time). I also feel that going to sleep each night is like dying, and waking up is like being resurrected each time.
to lurk3r (Post 524): "fitting in" is one way of looking at it; "be accepted despite using words and thoughts differently" is how I would put it. As you see here, some "git" me, some haven't yet, some may never. My first "baptism" was at age 18, as one of the "Friends & Workers" (incorrectly called the Two-by-Twos, etc.). The second "baptism" is what I'm under now: I was 25 when I was "baptised as one of JWs".
thank you Hope4Others (Post 4880) for your excellent summary of where I'm at these days. All works well and in its right time for those who love Jehovah (that's MY paraphrase). The more I use JWN to see the various modern attitudes and how they react/ respond to one another, the better I can see where I might fit it. By testing, I see objectively the words in a more silent fashion, so that I am not SO overwhelmed: it's easier here on JWN for me to make the progress that's needed.
Spike said: The more I use JWN to see the various modern attitudes and how they react/ respond to one another, the better I can see where I might fit it. By testing, I see objectively the words in a more silent fashion, so that I am not SO overwhelmed: it's easier here on JWN for me to make the progress that's needed.
Spike, that statement was clearly one made by a very intellegent and forthright man--one who posseses the integrity and right charactor most worthy of God. Your dedication and earnest love is admirable. That statement reflects an open and honest mind. To put yourself out here in Apostateville is wise. That way, you know both sides.
Keep this in mind: You will see me on this forum as an etherial sword that wishes to sever the ties bewteen the Watchtower Bible and Tract Societ INC. and it's flock, the supporters. (rank and file). Do understand that I respect and fully endorse your stance when it cmes to remaining within the organization. I know there will come a time when the organization is dissolved and no longer will blind the eyes and minds of it members. It is admirable that a person so devoted to loving God can aspire to maintain connection, even through the dark veils of a worldy organization. Bless you.
How can the elders make the progress they need to, unless ones like me can truly forgive and pray for them, just as Job needed to do for HIS 3 false comforters. Each one acts according to the wisdom that one learns, despite what delusions may still keep that one (even me) as a groping stranger.
Spike..... I didn't read all 117 comments (insane huh!)
I just wanted to say 'good morning'
I think you are a good guy, get busy living life, study God's word after requesting holy spirit and let your path be led.
Maybe take a chance and ask the next single attractive girl you see out on a date ....... Date a lot and figure out your 'type' along with the desired qualities you are seeking in a mate.
If you are set on a JW girl, GO OUT IN SERVICE solidly for the next 3 months....... mention you are looking and some busybody will set you up!
Wishing you positive paths....
Spike, I assume your whole story is nonsense. You don't understand JW stuff in your threads, yet you are fully understanding of Bible doctrines and ideas in other threads. It seems to me that you are trying to say that you are a disfellowshipped Witness that doesn't even understand that he is disfellowshipped. (Disassociated might be more accurate, but it's all the same- you met with a judicial committee and they announced that you are no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses.)
You compile the problem now by saying that you endure years of shunning to prove some point to the elders.
Now you are asking how, within the rules, you can progress in your love life.
As stated, it seems that you are trying to say that things are not working by trying to follow their rules so you are reaching out for our help on JWN.
This is all a bunch of crap. You do have some kind of mental disease, but you are not honest here. Basically, you played at flaming on JWN and you liked the attention. You realized you could get more attention by going beyond being a JW-supporter so you made yourself a victim. Now this switch to seeking our help has solidified your attention- look at how many pages this thread is.
You need help man, but not help from JW's or ex-JW's. Your problem is not tied in with WTS. Good day to you.
Love believes all things, actually.
