Hello Heartbreaker.
Welcome to the other side of life. Many of us have been in your shoes. Most of us in this "community" can empathize with your circumstances, your choices and your state of mind. Pretty Scary, Huh?
I used to be a regular on this board years ago. In fact, it's been 9 years since I was awakened. Had an epiphany one night and my faith fell like a house of cards. Trust me, though, that's not enough. You've already experienced the first difficult situation. Discussing your lack of faith with your husband. You are about to go through some tough times. You're going to have friends asking questions they don't really want the answer to. You're going to lose friends and family. There are many choices to make about how to handle your exit. Good Luck. I mean it.
Don't be scared. The sacrifices that you make will be eclipsed by the joy you find in your own freedom. This freedom is what I treasure the most. You can look forward to a "normal" life.
Speaking of "normal". There's no such thing. Yeah, the definition of normal lives in your head. It's your job to decide what's normal, right, wrong, good, bad. You've begun questioning the organization. Don't stop there. Question everything. Just think things through. Some feel a need to set their life on a new course immediately. It may take a while to ride out this coming storm of personal change. Find some new friends. That was a tough one for me. After 9 years I'm just beginning to understand how to keep friends. How to be a friend. So get started. Be choosy but not judgemental.
Funny that you mention birthdays and the fact that you tried to research the subject. The prohibition of birthday celebrations was so easy to prove wrong that I couldn't believe I never saw the scriptures before. We were raised with the arguement that the only birthday celebrations mentioned in the bible resulted in the death of someone so that must mean that god disapproves..........Please read Job 1:4:
4 And his sons went and held a banquet at the house of each one on his own day; and they sent and invited their three sisters to eat and drink with them. 5 And it would occur that when the banquet days had gone round the circuit, Job would send and sanctify them; and he got up early in the morning and offered up burnt sacrifices according to the number of all of them; for, said Job, “maybe my sons have sinned and have cursed God in their heart.” That is the way Job would do always.
and Job 3:1-3;
1 It was after this that Job opened his mouth and began to call down evil upon his day. 2 Job now answered and said:
3 “Let the day perish on which I came to be born,
You have Job referring to the day of his birth as his day, right? You also have Job blessing his sons on their day. The day of their birth. Of course it could be argued that we have another example of people dying on a birthday but............the important thing is......Job was a friend of God and yet he and his family were in the habit of celebrating birthdays. " and that man proved to be blameless and upright, and fearing God and turning aside from bad."
Hope that helps just a bit. It did me. In fact, the more you research the teachings of the JWs and find out where they are wrong the easier this whole process will be. If you cling to some of your faith it will torture you and could ultimately tear your family apart. Be strong. Support each other and LEARN as much as possible.
You'll find all kinds on this discussion board and some may even turn into good friends. Just remember that there are good people everywhere. They're just not good all the time.
Good luck and much love
TimB
