First time posting..HELLO! (page 2)

Goshawk

Welcome to the board, sorry to hear about losing a friend.

mouthy

Welcome to the board. Your among friends. .
Lovely to have you join us.

http://exjw.weebly.com Grace Gough

AudeSapere

You are attending for honorable reasons.

Walk in with your head held high and be gracious. I would not slink into the back row - unless that's where you personally really want to be. Rebel8's advice to follow normal social etiquette is right on. Don't worry about their warped rules. Dress clean and neat but no need to go buy a suit, either.

I was in similar situation this time last year when my former roommates mother died. I hadn't seen most of those people in 10 or 15 years and it was a nice reunion for me. Surprising to note how much I had changed grown but they still mostly seemed the same.

My situation is different in that I fadedff (not DFd or DAd), but still out for so long... Also, I chose to wear black slacks to the Hall. I brought an ex-JW friend who had known the family and she wore slacks, too. We sort of felt like rebels, but were treated well and were glad we went.

So for your loss.

-Aude.

dissed

Nice to have you aboard.

My experience is that some will view you as the prodigal son and come running to meet you, while others will hold their ground and keep the distance. I would respond accordingly.

My nephew who dissed himself with a scathing letter, just twice in the last two weeks ran into others who knew of his leaving, talked normal, but finished the convo with, we'd like to see you at the meetings again.

Have they changed and softened? That's what he wanted to know, because he usually gets avoided like the plague.

cantleave

Welcome to the board.

kl2009

One more thing...Can anyone tell me how I can personalize my profile i.d.?? For example, add a pic..Thx!

OnTheWayOut

...Can anyone tell me how I can personalize my profile i.d.?? For example, add a pic..Thx!

It ain't available to newbies yet. We who have it were carried over from the old dot com forum.
We cannot update ours on the dot net forum, and you cannot add photos and a biography.
We hope it gets fixed one day soon so you can.

finding my way

kl2009,

Nice to meet you and welcome. I was also Df's in my early 20's (about 4 1/2 years ago) i'm so sorry to hear about a loss. It's really hard when you aren't allowed to communicate with someone because of our circumstance and then they pass. It can be very hard to get over. Ive been to 2 funerals since being Df'd and at both I was pleasantly surprised at the friendliness of others. Some acted like I wasn't Disfellowshipped.

One was for an Ex boyfriend of mine that passed while he was in a disfellowshipped state. I hadn't spoken to him in a long time because I had shunned him when he was Df'd and by the time I was Df'd I had lost contact. It was really hard to accept that I had treated him that way. A brother still gave the talk at a funeral home even which surprised me. I hugged all the family members and cried with them. They told me they missed me which made it worse, but with all the emotion of a person passing, I found people don't have time to put on their cult faces.

At my Step Fathers funeral I sat up front with my family and several people talked to me afterwards. I debated whether or not to remind people that I was Df'd and chose not too. I'm sure they knew and I didn't feel it was the place. We were there to remember my Dad and everyone respected that. One of my step sisters did ignore me a bit but she's harsh anyways.. she wrote me a letter to let me know she loved me but she wouldn't talk to me about anything that wasn't funeral related while I was visiting. I was angry, because I was grieving too and didn't feel like I deserved an extra shunning slap in the face but I understand she was doing what she thinks is best..

I hope it's not to uncomfortable for you.

~fmy

AudeSapere

fmy wrote: I debated whether or not to remind people that I was Df'd and chose not too.

Wow. I can't image how awful it must be to speak those words. I've had a few people say it to me in my life but never really thought how it would feel to say it.

With what I know know about the org, I sincerely hope fewer and fewer DF'd people utter those words. Such extreme control!!

-Aude.

WuzLovesDubs

Welcome honey! As for this funeral...forget about the RULES. You are going to a funeral of a friend. You are a free agent. YOu are not OBLIGED to follow any of their cockameemee rules of engagement. Be loving, supportive and kind. Extend your hand to people to shake it. If they want to they will hug you. If you are worried the whole damn time about protocol, you will seem guilty to them. Be open, and engaging. Forget they are JWs and think of them only as people. hugs

First time posting..HELLO!

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