I've recently been invited to attend an Alpha course at my local Baptist Church and for the last 2 weeks I've gone along. Its all been very amiable and pleasant until this week. THe subject was "why and how should I pray?" Ok, straight forward enough you'd think - right? Well, I thought so, especially as the minister said all questions are welcome, including the tough ones.
So after the Nicky Gumbel video presentation we all sat round in a circle and began to discuss prayer.
I brought up a prayer that I uttered in all sincerety when I was 18 years old. I had a new baby, a new husband and had just moved to a new area at that time and was was feeling isolated, lonely and overwhelmed by my responsibilities. I distinctly remember asking God for help. I wanted company and I wanted a christian friend to speak to. I even remember shedding tears I felt that lonely.
Within 10 minutes of that prayer, Jehovahs Witnesses knocked on my door.
Now of course I immediately presumed this was an answer to my prayer and began to have a bible study from that point on. 21 years later I since discover that JW's had lied about their past, about their choosing by Christ in 1919 and had misapplied numerous scriptures to their own ends. By that time all my friends were JW's and I'd brought up my 4 children in this faith. Therefore the cost of leaving this false Organization was considerable for all my family.
So I ask the group who sent Jehovah's Witnesses to my door? I give them 3 options.
1. God sent them and I was wrong to leave. I should seek reinstatement immediately incase armageddon arrives and I'm dead.
2. Satan heard my prayer and sent them to my door to fool a young, naive, vulnerable girl.
3. Neither sent them. It was coincidence that they knocked on my door just then.
First off everyone started talking at once and it was hard to get a clear answer. Then the minister took charge and said he felt God was not responsible for sending JW's to my door. He made it clear that he believes they are a false prophet and God definately wouldn't have sent them.
Ok, said I, so what about Satan? Did he send them?
Again there was a babble of noise (the group comprised of people already christians so this Alpha was kinda preaching to the converted). THe general consensus ended up being that Satan isn't permitted to hear prayers and therefore he wouldn've been the one to send the Witnesses.
So I said "then it must have been coincidence", to which to my surprise the minister came back with, "I don't believe in coincidences, I believe in God-instances". To which everyone nodded sagely at his wise words.
I must admit to being left dumbfounded. Now what? Again everyone started talking at once and they all began to feel I misinterpreted the arrival of JWs as an answer to my prayer because I was vulnerable.
Ok, thats fair enough, but God knew I was vulnerable, he could see that when I prayed. Why didn't he protect me from a cult?
I also pointed out that it was natural that I would think JW's were my prayer answer - lets face it, if YOU were praying for help and 10 minutes later JW's called, wouldn't YOU presume they were an answer? No reply.
Then came the clincher. The minister began to relate his experience with depression and how it took several months to rise out of this state. Once he'd experienced this, he was in a much better position to understand and help those in a similiar state.
Of course I knew what he was getting at. He was trying to explain that my experience as a JW could be used to help others. Ok, again he had a valid point, but did God really give us bad things just so we can learn from them? I reminded him of the scripture that talks about a father giving bread to his son and not a stone. How come I asked for "bread" but got a "stone"?
Again the babble of overlapping conversation began to take over as I sat quietly. The minister's voice cut through the noise and said "If you didn't want to come back next week, we'd understand, we wouldn't pursue you".
At that point the meeting broke up and we all took our leave. I'm not sure if I'll go next week. Not only didn't I get my question answered, I got the feeling they'd rather I didn't raise too many awkward questions despite inviting me to do so.
I guess my point is do you think its worth going again this week? And do you think there's a 4th option to my question I haven't thought of?
thanks
BZ