Will he call me? (page 7)

Chalam

We had a great time and a nice date but I left the ball in his court since he felt more insecure than I...(and I'm determined not to contact him before he does)

OK here's my 2¢!

What's to say he isn't waiting for you to call? Does he know the ball is in his court?
Help him out if he really is insecure. Call him if you are interested.
A "great time" and a "nice date" sounds OK but where is the passion? There needs to be some chemistry, some spark or it is a non-starter in my book.
Rejection sucks. It can come to either party but that is the dating game and we all have been there, both sides. Just be kind and be clear and ask for the same.

Blessings,

Stephen

I've never seen this many dating threads on this site before, what's going on girls? I'll probably be called a party pooper but did any of you read the book 'He's Just Not That Into You'? If a guy is not making effort to contact you, he's over you. Possibly was never fully into you but went with the flow while it was fun. Its sad but its true. Or maybe he did have some feeling there but something happened that freaked him out of those. Can you retrace your last steps (days) with him. Likely he put you to the test to see whats really under the surface which you never saw coming. Which is rather ironic, women test men all the time but are completely clueless when they are tested and even years later would probably still deny to themselves that was actually the test. I'd suggest if you really want to know how men think you get yourself the book 'The Art of War' ironically written over 2500 years ago.

Newborn

Thank ya'll! (Ninja, LOL!)

Let's see perhaps he will call me or not...regardless I won't sit and wait by the phone but continue to be happy and have fun as usual.

Hey, I have a life!!! and life goes on...

If he does contact me again....do you want to know??

Newby

creativhoney

Zagor I read it but you cant take all of it that serioulsy, - it assumes men have nothing else going on in their lives but their obsession with a woman or not.

- I know its tongue in cheek though - what makes me laugh about it is its based on a line from Sex and the City, and was written by the same people, and yet our main character, carrie Bradshaw, hangs around for ten years for Mr Big - even though he gives her all the signs that 'maybe hes just not that into her' when he is.

however in this instance, you have two choices. call (or text if easier) or dont.

if you really want to and you get a wishy washy reply, then you know. - but I think you possibly already do x

creativhoney

Newborn, tell me you havent been sat by the phone for gods sakes ...

zagor

Agreed, thats why I suggested you read The Art of War (and slowly so, it is not written in moder writer's style). The truth is if a man is faced with serious possibility of letting someone into his life permanently he will use whatever to see what the deepest motives of the person really are. Hence, I guess what you referred to in Sex in the City was "Mr. Big's" way of doing it. We are all different and do it in different ways. I guess reason why, is to stop himself deeply emotionally involved with a mirage, a phantasy. Its like playing on the edge of the knife and its not always easy. Many times you develop feeling for a person but then have to quickly sober up when you see whats really under the shroud when they don't think you are watching them. That's of course when he is facing deep involvment, but if you met someone and few days down the track he is no longer calling you I guess could be anything that made him hit the brakes, including him just being a player and jumper from one girl to next.

creativhoney

yes exactly. I wouldnt lose any sleep over it. - its not as if you have known them enough to form any emotional attachment. - its hard when you love someone a lot and then you realise they are a total (insert any bad word here) - then you have to get over it and its hard, -

My last Bf was the most selfish person on earth, and I made the huge mistake of pandering to his every whim thinking if I cared for him he would love me more.. - and he treated my house like a hotel. - It took six months to sort my head out after that. - I was so stupid, I accepted that he didnt want to be in a relationship but it was 'just what it was' which basically meant he could sleep around and not call it cheating.- just made me bitter in the end, and I asked for my key back, and he didnt speak to me for four months, which was the time I needed to gain perspective.

when he came back to (as usual) ask for something he wanted me to do or help him with - I had a clear head, - we speak now, here and there, but I will never give him myself on a plate like I did, - he saw me as his meal ticket and his brain to get him through uni.. - sadly (for him) in the time he was gone, I picked myself up, realised I was wasting my time and got myself back to uni to get back in work again.. I had even avoided looking for a job, so I could be at home so he could come back after uni. - I put my career and life on hold for someone who just needed me for that - his life and career.

lesson learned - its not attractive to be a refillable plate - if your always there, always available, always needy its not nice for anyone. -

since then Ive met needy men and realised how unattractive it is,. - I forgive myself, because it all happened at the time I left the JW, you dont know who you are, everyone left me - and i left my job for this guy so i lost everyone i knew, and so I became dependent on him by default.

it was good to talk to him again, put it in perspective, say sorry and that I understood how it was a lot for a younger person to deal with, but at the same time, nonchalant enough so that now, he needs me far more than I need him, and hes the one who calls me, and Im the one who may or may not be around, because I dont know what Im doing yet..

and though that relationship could never work - its still interesting to learn that if you want respect off someone you cant just be a doormat.

ninja

I'd try another dating site.....obviously bunnyboilers.com isn't doing you any favours......he he.....keep your chin(s) up

zagor

Something tells me you'll be ok, you are a very intelligent person, just don't leave your study for anyone. Focus on your studies and the right person will come to you, maybe when you least expect. Good luck

creativhoney

Chin Ninja. he was too young that was the problem. I have to stop scoring men twelve years younger than me who need help with their homework.;) - they dont tend to go for older women with lots of chins mate, just the MILFS...

and zagor, Im a teacher, Multimedia, Graphic Design, - Sixth Form College, but when I left I decided I wanted to teach school instead, but I put off applying, its taken about six months to be accepted to the Uni, teaching college it would seem, does not require the same level of literacy and numeracy that school does, - I had to sit some entrance exams, despite being a qualified teacher - I am finally inducted this sat, after doctors clearance and criminal check (I have a driving conviction) - anyway its all good now, shouldnt be too hard for me, Ive done it all once, its just its a new subject, - IT, - my degree is in computing anyway, but I have forgot a lot given that Ive been teaching design for years, so its quite exciting.

thanks for the encouragement anyway :D

Will he call me?

Share this