by Aussie Oz 63 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
So your kids were quite happy to go to your wife's sister's house for a birthday, play with guns and then spend time making their own guns.
They probably had more fun in one weekend with you than with JW family in six months! That they enjoyed those activities??? I can't see how they're going to be happy being JWs.
The great thing about children is they can quickly shake off the indoctrination. I know my own daughter struggled early on when we were starting our fade. She didn't want to participate in christmas celebrations at school and struggled when we stopped our witness routine. Today however a mere 2 months on we celebrated my Dads birthday yesterday and baked an enourmous cake for him which she helped ice. Today she is attending her first formal birthday party ever. This morning she chose a new outfit and purchased the gift for her friend she got ready at 2 o'clock today and the party starts at 5.
The great thing is she has none of the guilt because we tell her as we formulate our own ideas. She understands and accepts that as a family we are changing and she is embracing the change. Your children are very lucky to have the alternatives offered to them. Be supportive and keep the information at a steady rate as you have done.
Good luck you're doing a fab job.
But she still won't do her bloody homework!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they had a ball! i took them to my wifes birthday dinner not long ago as well. My son told his mother they were ging to a family thingy of my wifes and that was all. and my daughter actually wished her happy birthday!
It is all so encouraging and yet i know that the older they get the tighter the tenticals get.
cheers all
Oz
Awesome news Oz! Sounds like you are doing a fab job! I really appreciate all who share these types of experiences with the kids because I too struggle on a daily basis. So thanks for taking the time to type this out.
1 May 2010
Had the kids last weekend, the first ever where they both got to stay a full one!
Amongst all the shite going on re visits i have still magaged to slip in de-program thoughts.
Saturday morning early and my boy and i are having a coffee on the front steps and i got to talking about his 'worldly' girl friend that mother does not not know about. In the course of finding out what she was like and why he liked her i commented on the fact that his mum would not aprove. That the society also frowns on this as they think she will lead him away from them. As we progressed in our chat i was able to add in that nobody has the right to stop him seeing her. That the only time a parent should step in is if there was real evidence that the love interest was a very bad person to hang around with, not if it's just that they dont like or they are not of the same religion.
Also in the chat was my own experience i added in that in all my years since i left their mum, in all the thousands of people i have met i had not met any that tried to turn me to drugs or debauchery, crime or wickedness like they said in the watchtower! I explained that what they meant was that in all these houses we could see out the front, that every person was a wicked servant of the devil just waiting for the opportunity to get us.
We came inside and i asked if his girlfriend was on facebook... he then told me that some group photo's with him in them at his school sports day were on somebodies myspace or something and that his mother went nuts! Anyway we looked up his girlfriend on facebook, with the profile set to private of course. I asked if he would like a facebook account he could use when down with dad to which he replied he had been thinking of asking if he could! Of course i said yes, but as your father i will insist on knowing your password as i will check it from time to time to make sure no real bad stuff was going on. This was not because i did not trust him but that as his father i still have a responsability to look out for him especially while legally a minor. He had no problem with this so i kinda hope he asks to set one up.
It was during this visit that i also let him know that even though i have not been a witness for a long time, i still keep up with what is in the magazines on the watchtower website as i feel it is imoprtant to know what he and his sister are being taught. This of course takes the mystery and danger out of my source of information for future discussions i plan with them.
from little things big things grow...
oz
edit: While talking about his girlfriend, he said when he was with her he could be 'himself'. I thought that was pretty significant so i asked if he felt he could be the same here (and i know he does) ... to which he affirmed and also affirmed that with mum he was not really himself that much. Later in the car we talked about feelings and he said he could tell his girlfriend anything, that he told never tells his mother his feelings. I encouraged him to feel free to tell me his true feelings anytime, that at his age i had no one i confided in, that now i am able to tell my father anything no matter how intimate...
Oz, if you were my Dad, it would be a no-brainer which parent I'd want to hang out with. You're doing a great job, and I have a feeling it's going to pay off! Keep your chin up.
Awesome! I think you’re going great!
AussieOz: You're doing a GREAT job. I believe your son is well on the way to leaving the JWs. The 12-17 age is the prime time to influence kids away from their JW upbringing. They just naturally are questioning things and exploring sprirtual beliefs. They are also developing critical thinking skills rapidly.
Keep it up! And keep us posted!
Great job, Aussie! Just as important as your goal to keep him from being baptized a JW, you're developing a strong trust bond between you and your son. That will last no matter what else happens.
Tammy
