What can a divorced woman in her forties expect if she stays in the WT? (page 4)

garyneal

I have absolutely no hope of ever marrying her. Some of you advised me against that, and I have found you did that with good reason. But, still, I want to have a picture of what she could be going through in the future, to be there if necessary.

Well, I say keep hope alive if you really want to be with her. Let her have her space to figure things out and if you two are close enough, perhaps maybe you can question her on some of her beliefs. Not challenge her, just question. Like, "I understand witnesses are allowed to take blood fractions, but doesn't that come from blood?" When she says yes then say, "Can a witness donate his or her blood so that the fractions may be used to help another Jehovah's Witness?" Just plant seeds.

zions watchman

YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO BEING LOOKED DOWN ON AND OH THEY WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU TO CONFESS WHEN YOU BECOME WEAK AND HAVE A FING WITH A YOUNG MAN LIKE MY SELF

no more kool aid

This always made me sad, even though I am married, I saw so many single friends that had no life in the organization. For one thing she will probably be working, so she won't fit in with the going out in service during the day gossiping little busybodies. If she takes care of herself and works out, the women won't want her around their husbands. Let, say there are a few men that were potential mates for her, that isn't a very big pool to choose from. There is so much more to loose when you get married later in life but she can't take him for a test drive and make sure that they are compatible

Maybe she doesn't want to marry again, she can't date or go on vacation with a guy. She can't even go out in the evening and have a drink and dance (like the JW married couples can ) without getting counseled. In my opinion it is no kind of life. I couldn't do it. NMKA

ziddina

Ooops! dgp, I thought you were seeking advice for yourself... Sounds like I didn't read your posts thoroughly...

Hmmm. If you are seriously interested in this person, GaryNeal's advice is the best to follow - and as others have advised, don't even THINK of joining this woman until her head's on much straighter than it is right now... And I think also Parakeet's comments, and Billy the Ex's predictions - pretty much hit the nail on the head.

I suppose you could pretend to have a bible study with a JW and raise all sorts of questions??? But that could backfire - would have to be done carefully. Is she expressing any doubts at this time???

Zid (oh, and thanks for the compliment! Looking at that pix - I gotta start lifting weights again!)

dgp

Ziddina, I just told the truth .

I alreay had some discussions with her about the society and she got me to go to a hall. I didn't like it, but said nothing. She had already found an elder who could "teach" me, though he is like twenty years my junior. We have no contact. I can still see her once in a while. I want to know what will become of her life to be there if the case need be. But, I don't think I stand any chances. And I would need to be very careful what seeds I plant in her mind.

There's no getting me into the society. I have read Crisis of Conscience, In Search of Christian Freedom, am reading Combatting Cult Mind Control, own Releasing the Bonds, the Orwellian World of the Jehovah's witnesses and Out of the Coccoon, and have been reading this site and many others for months. Still, I keep learning.

Thank you for your interest. If you have any more advice to give, please do.

ziddina

Ooo, dgp, wish I did... Others on this board are WAAAY more qualified than I am to give good advice. I was able to walk away with no strings attached, once I woke up...

Would wish the same for this lady you've mentioned. At least she's got a good friend in you... Zid

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Be very respectful. Keep in contact. Be there if her car needs repairs or any other "guy" things since the brothers are way too busy doorknocking for such mundane assistance to those in genuine need.

dgp

Thank you very much, Billy.

I just sent her an e-mail .

zagor

Being woman in 40's? I don't know that many who are still witnesses. Those around me that I see everyday (non-jw) are often accomplished women, with career and all. Some married some not i.e. single. Usually 40's are time of reflection when you expect to see that you life is making some major impact and things are settled and cruising along. Some find marriage and a partner they can trust he'll will be there tomorrow as the most important accomplishment, esspecially when middle-age crisis hits their men. Some see that in their life's work if they are academics or accomplished artists of some kind. Some want to have it both. As a witness I guess things would still be on status quo, and you'd wait like a donkey after a carrot that there is a chance, however remote, that life might turn out right for you as a gift from heavens for your perseverance and the carrot will somehow land into your mouth. The difference with 'wordly' girls is that they don't like leaving too much to a chance and hopeful thinking they grab that carrot and don't let it go.

But I think it is a wider problem, witnesses in general are taught that nothing is lost and even if you lose something 'for kingdom's sake' or whatever else's sake, eventually you'll get it back in time to enjoy it fully. While things might turn out sometimes like that, generally people need to be proactive about their condition. And again that is where wordly women (and men) are better equipped.

EmptyInside

That's a good question, since I'm approaching my forties, but never married. If she wants to remarry,as many already stated, the pickings are quite slim. Most women in the organization in that situation learn to be content with their status. They keep busy with theocratic activities and hang out with other sisters in their same situation. And dream of finding the perfect man in the new system. Because as each year passes, you kind of give up any hope of finding a marriage mate in the organization. It is quite depressing. It's the big reason I am here and questioning everything I believed to be true.

What can a divorced woman in her forties expect if she stays in the WT?

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