Excellent point, babygirl. I would say that it works in both directions. A sister who is 'zealous' in the ministry and comments and gives talks and even shows such kindness at the KH--in private, she can be as nasty as can be towards her husband. Not to turn it back on women here, but just to make the point. It's the same kind of facade.
This is the problem that can come from spending time together only amongst the JW group, where people aren't that likely to show their true colors anyway. You can date a person and have no real idea who they are. Of course, that's not to say that group dating is evil in itself, just to say that it can help or hurt in equal portions.
But the big problem in this religion is that spirituality can be 'proven' by superficial means--statistics, tasks, assignments. It's quantified, when spirituality is a matter of quality, not quantity. True spirituality can't be proven that way. Perhaps...I was unable to cope with the absurdity of seeing ministerial servants and pioneers making obscene jokes and gossiping to no end. For some reason, all of that was okay and I'm sure the Thought Police would recommend any of 'em as suitable marriage mates. Yet a genuinely good quality person who doesn't make 10 hours a month is seen as dubious.
This sort of thinking worries me because it will surely rub off on my wife and she will have serious regrets about marrying me, regrets that could grow exponentially the more she's exposed to the heavy-hitter sisters out there. I just...never understood the elitist attitudes I saw in the religion. It always seemed so different from Christ. Makes me sad.
--Christopher
