Dear all,
Thank you very much for your comments and the fact no one ridiculed me or got angry at the question.
I have organized my thoughts a little on my way to school and back, so I may express myself a bit more clearly now. Let's see, you talk about "intimacy" being the sacred thing, more than "sex" itself, which might be a mere function. And that's exactly my point: going back to the example of the conversation: imagine you've spent a couple of hours with a male friend (I'm talking to females) and you've had a great conversation (I often do, my husband doesn't mind at all -I would not tolerate his minding anyway-). You've thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of connexion and closeness that comes from exchanging ideas on a subject that fascinates you (I clarify you can have the same enjoyment if you are with a female friend, but this time it is a male). You go back home and remember what you've spoken about, you smile remembering how good it felt, and you definitely feel close to that person who shared that part of your day. Before you go to sleep, you review your day and your friend is in your mind again and again you feel that warm relationship that unites you (no romantic feeling involved). Would you expect your husband to feel bad about it, to make a scene, to tell you that is not moral? You wouldn't, would you? OK, that same day, while you were having such a good time with your friend, your husband, who's had a couple of beers (he is not drunk, though, but perfectly aware), is approached by a beautiful workmate in his office that openly makes herself available to him, he's very aroused (it's a weakness in men, poor fellows, but that's for another thread) and giving in to her charms, has sex with her. It has lasted five minutes in all. He goes back home, and were it not for his terrible conscience, he would not give the girl another thought. He is happy to go back home to you and your warmth and the kids, and he goes to sleep like an angel as he holds you tight and delights in how you smell. End of his story.
Who has had more intimacy?
Do you see what I mean? What's in sex that makes it different from other kinds of intimacy? I don't get it. I'd love to know the reason for my "anomaly". That's why I'm asking for enlightenment from you, my dear friends.
