When I left in 95' I didn't think it was a cult. From what I'm reading and hearing now.......it's turned into a cult.
Think About It
What was your initial reaction to finding out the religion is a cult?
by make yourself 59 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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leavingwt
Devastation.
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Mad Sweeney
"...it's turned into a cult."
No it hasn't. It was always a cult. It started out as a cult of personality and then refined itself into a run-of-the-mill, high-control religious cult.
As for the initial question, I don't know how to express the feelings. I'm still in the middle of grief and leaving. The decision making process relating to it all is gut-wrenching. When I first read about the process here I thought fading would be easy and that the people who posted about the emotional trauma of it all were somehow weak. I sincerely apologize for those thoughts and hope I never expressed them here on the forum. It's a horrible feeling leaving the borg, even when you know it's the absolute right thing to do.
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UnConfused
Disbelief and fear. Then denial and sadness which became depression, all mixed with fear. My fear was that I would get DF'd somehow and not get my family out. I've since divorced, but glad that I got my family out and without any DF'ing so she is free to have her family as friends still.
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yourmomma
for me it was relief. i will say that in my opinion it was always a high control group, that has turned into a cult. maybe it was the congregation i was in most of my life, but it was really liberal. but it seems like at some point a few years ago the GB has ratcheted up the pressure and strictness.
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The Oracle
It's been an interesting ride.
First there was Shock and Disbelief.
Then some major Dissapointment (realizing I wasn't going to be immortal - everlasting life, whatever - that was a real bummer).
Then some Anger - mainly at myself for being fooled, but also at the whole WT leadership for stealing away some of my life.
The a little bit of panic. What to do?
Then some relief. I don't have to have this wild schedule and do these demeaning things, and be part of this unnatural hierarchy.
Then lots of Wow. Lots and lots of wows. The further I digged the more I was amazed at how crazy the religion I once thought was the only thing that made sense in this world actually was. All those little glitches that just didn't seem right...now it was all starting to make sense.
Then I appreciated how lucky I was to have had an awakening.
After the roller coaster of emotion settled down, Then I felt a sense of duty. To help others, especially my family to understand and to awake, and to break free from the tryranny of mind control.
Now I'm in the thoroughly happy and satisfied stage. Life is good. Very good. The panic, the anger, the dissapointment have all faded. It's now time to move on to other things. However, I don't pretend that this whole JW thing wasn't a part of my life. It was. That's why I am still interested in what the movement is up to, and how others are doing who have recently had their awakening. I suspect I will always have some interest in the whole JW/EX-Jw sub cultures. I will always try to help others who are in trouble...even if they dont know it, but it won't be my crusade. I'll be defined by other things when I die.... I hope!
Peace out
The Oracle
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agonus
It's not a cult. It's not a cult. It's not a cult. It's not a cult. It's not...
Oh, shit.
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EmptyInside
Cried a lot and still dealing with it, and still a bit in denial.
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finallysomepride
wtf
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crazy2try
I am still in the denial stage....I have a moment of panic once and awhile, but I don't have or want to take the time to deal with it right now. I just want to go one day at a time, preparing for the little choices I have to make in my life. example, I started a new job in November, I decided before I started that I was not going to tell my new co-workers that I don't celebrate any of the holidays and I enjoyed the normal work holiday stuff.