by make yourself 59 Replies latest watchtower scandals
"OH MY GOD ITS A CULT!!! HOLY $#!+ its a Cult... holy F*** my whole life its a lie"....... *grabbing my head in pain* "OH MY GOD ITS A CULT!" that went on for like a half a week straight... I still have to shake my head and remind myself sometimes
ps crazy2try Welcome!!! and celebrating stuff is fun! you'll like it!
Cried, cried and cried some more. As a born in, the realisation of what it's going to cost me to leave is scary. Is it really worth losing all my friends just because I don't believe in the religion anymore? And yet I resent every single second wasted at the KH. I feel broken.
I felt so sad and then so let down and still feel pretty shocked. Being born in never did research, and even my poor Dad was dfs for smoking all his life, I didn't shun him, but things weren't the same until he died. I'm so angry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Etna
Marked for reflection.
When I first spotted the lies for myself I was sick to my stomach. It's quite a shock to learn you've been duped for 30 years.
I'm still not sure if they are a cult, unless you feel a cult is a high thought controlled, child sacrificing, nation of mindless Zombies, then I guess you would have to label my old buddies a cult.
But for me it was a feeling of complete astonishment. Picture Moe Sislak of the Simpson's letting out a ten minute.......... "Whaaaaaaaaaat!!!!!"
It was devastating. I was angry, confused, felt physically ill. Being born in and really believing that I was worshipping God, to find out that it was all a lie was just really jarring to me. Just thinking of all the missed opportunities, wasted time, deaths of people I knew who felt that they were pleasing Jehovah by refusing blood, etc. made me extremely angry. I wanted to DA on the spot and tell everyone what I finally saw. I also had to consider the fact that everything I thought I knew about the bible I had been taught by THEM and their tainted literature, therefore I don't how much of what I know about the bible is even accurate.
jada
Did you ever see one of those movies where the thief must get through the invisible security to get to the priceless gem. You can't see the trap surrounding the gem until you use special lighting and then all the lines are exposed. That's what it felt like to me. I was inside the trap all along, I just never saw it. Sometimes I felt the discomfort of being confined but I didn't know why. Then, when I found out the truth about the 'truth', it was like that special lighting came on. Suddenly I saw how trapped I was. Nothing really changed, but I knew, I could see the obstacles encasing me. Problem is, I'm still trapped inside.
I was sick at my stomach. I just found out a few weeks ago, I haven't really gotten the rage yet. I am still kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel frightened that I could believe in something like that so completely. And I clung to it! Even though the elders and some sisters, and the impossible standards in the congregation made me so miserable! Oh, I think maybe the rage is coming!!! (and the vomit!)
Even when I realized it was not the one true religion, I was still in denial that it was a cult. I was still tied to the definition of cult as the WTS had us believe.
But the further away I got from it, the more I realized, and admitted to myself, it was indeed a cult. So I had no real 'initial reaction'...it was more of a slow realization and acceptance. Not that it didn't cause anger or frustration.
It's still frustrating in that using the word "cult" around the wrong people only makes matters worse. I use it on this board and that's about it. Outside of here, most people don't really know the meaning of cult as we have come to learn it. Even non-JWs are leary of the word cult when it comes to labeling JWs, Mormons and other off center religions.
