What was your initial reaction to finding out the religion is a cult? (page 4)

LongHairGal

Oracle,

Your post describes pretty much how I feel about the whole thing except I have no family trapped in the religion. In my case though, when I found out the history and scandals in 2000 it just confirmed what I had already suspected. It still made me angry though. The waste of time is truly tragic! I do have to get rid of residual anger. In a way I feel if "I told off the right people" that I would feel purged. But, I realize that is not really possible because some of them are deceased and even if I told off certain ones that isn't going to change their feelings one iota. They have to come to the realization themselves.

I am working my way towards the 'happy and satisfied stage'. Like you, I will always be somewhat interested in the ex-JW subcultures to some degree - just not totally consumed.

BluesBrother

Disappointment. - first the realization that I was not in the opening chapter of a life that was going to get better and better and keep on like that for everrrrrrrrrrrrrr ! Instead I knew that my time was "threescore and ten" just like everyone that had gone before me. I had already wasted three quarters of it in a religion that was just not true. Instead of getting "close to Jehovah" I had just followed the thoughts of other men...

I was never going to see my late Mother again...

Of course at that time the word "cult" did not occur to me. It took a long while on the net to accept that their behaviour is cult like.

PS . Welcome to crazy2try, and the others that are still dealing with the emotion of the realization....Keep posting and it gets easier ..

JWinprotest

I wanted to pick up the phone and call every JW I know and tell them what I've discovered. That's when it hit me. Not only do I have to keep this info to myself, but I have to continue pretending like I believe the WTS lies.

I also, for the first time, finally understood why my unbelieving father acted the way he did while we were growing up. How frustrating it must have been for him to see his entire family being swallowed up by a cult and not being able to do anything about it.

goldensky

I've loved all your answers, but I was quite surprised nobody seems to have jumped straight from being very happy in the organization to being very happy outside, just me from what I've heard so far. Am I weird? I mean, I'm glad for myself, but your reasons for feeling down and disappointed, angry and confused are SO legitimate! Why didn't I go through any of that? That's what this thread has me wondering...

serenitynow!

"I've loved all your answers, but I was quite surprised nobody seems to have jumped straight from being very happy in the organization to being very happy outside, just me from what I've heard so far. Am I weird? I mean, I'm glad for myself, but your reasons for feeling down and disappointed, angry and confused are SO legitimate! Why didn't I go through any of that?" goldensky

I don't know about other people but I wouldn't say that I was "very happy" while in the organization. I am happier now, but it is something that must be worked at IMO.

jada

goldensky

Thank you, Serenitynow! You are right, many if not most of you weren't that happy in the organization, which makes my question even more relevant: shouldn't more of you then have jumped for joy somewhat more immediately after your realisation without necessarily having to go through those painful stages? I don't mean everybody, but why do I seem to be the odd case?

sd-7

My first reaction? "Holy crap. I'm in a cult. Have been from the start." The more I learned about its inner workings, the angrier and more disturbed I got. The more I saw the logical fallacies and distortions, the more disturbed and scared I got.

My life went into a tailspin, and I made nothing but stupid decisions on the way out.

I loved the religion, loved its teachings, the feelings of doing something good for humanity. To find out it was all a lie, was like having the sun, moon, and stars blacken and die all at once. Along with that feeling came both a relief from the pressure and a terror that I would be found out and put on trial. I also experienced some temporary sense of freedom, which I abused, not knowing any better.

It was, is, the most traumatic event of my life. I deal with fear, rage, despair, and guilt all the time, just one or another or another or another pretty much all the time. "It sucks. Except for the parts that don't suck."

MsDucky

I couldn't believe it at first ....then just very hurt and angry for being duped .

I felt the same way. I, also, felt that I had wasted most of my life because of believing in this religion.

littlebird

I felted shocked & betrayed, but because I kept having these little thoughts "but what if it really is the truth?" I couldn't go from anger to happiness. It took me a good year to get those thoughts out of my head. I wanted to believe it was the truth, I didn't want to believe that I had been suckered and that I had in turn, taught my children wrong.

I'm very happy being out now. Once I was able to disable the belief in the governing body, I was able to move on.

LittleSister

"Well that explains a lot"

Followed by a few sleepless nights

Then a feeling of peace and relief.

What was your initial reaction to finding out the religion is a cult?

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