sd-7's whining session 3-30-2010 (page 7)

yknot

Pity parties can be very theraputic, de-stressing and well you get an excuse to eat ..........

Which is far less costly and punishable by fines/ lock-up than....

Broken Promises

Here’s a deal, sd-7….

How about the next time you post, tell us what you have DONE to try to fix the situation you are in.

Whining about one’s lot in life is something mature adults may only do on the odd occasion, but once you’ve got it off your chest, you then start working on fixing the situation which is causing you hurt.

We can’t control everything in life, but we can control ourselves and our reactions to others’ actions.

Stop whining about your bitchy wife and how you get trodden on. She’s only doing it because you allow her to treat you that way. Be a man and stand up for yourself.

And TALK TO YOUR WIFE. You might find she’s just as scared and frightened as you are.

So how about it? Next time you post, either here or on a new thread, write about what you have said or done to rectify your situation.

jamiebowers

Christopher,

When I was df'd 21 years ago I was absolutely petrified of making any decisions. After all, thus far, I had screwed up the two most important decisions in my life; joining a cult and choosing a nutcase for a husband. And the guilt and self loathing that comes with df'ing made me second guess my very essence. I always felt in the wrong. It seems that's exactly what has happened to you. As far as I know, those reactions are normal after experiencing a life shattering event such as df'ing.

So, as far as this thread is concerned, take the good and leave the bad. You know which is which. Aside from your guilt and uncertainty, I also see a real problem with spoken communication. You have no problem putting your thoughts in writing, but from talking to you on the phone, I can tell you have a hard time verbally expressing yourself. I don't know why that is, but please consider it and try to fix it. Once you can communicate with your wife, you'll know whether she's willing to meet you half way. If she's not, then the marriage is over. You can't do it all.

If the marriage ends, it won't be the end of the world. I know that being born into a doomsday cult that the tendency is to think that everything is the end of the world. But that's not real world living. Deep down inside, dear heart, you know who you are. And you know that you deserve happiness...

Call me when you can.

Sunspot

Sometimes it is comforting and therapeutic to be able to have a forum like this to come and express your feelings to others who have either been "down this road" or familiar with how the WTS actally operates as it devours families and shreds them to bits without a backward glance. My heart goes out to those who are now living with the garbage that their JW families are happily dumping on them.....remembering ALL those claims about the WTS being THE most loving organization on the earth.

HUGZ to sd-7....

Annie

GLTirebiter

Christopher, I don't know what to say except that it's a Deja Vu for me to read that. You're far from the only person this have ever happened to.

Counseling would be nice--but we've no money for it.

Check with local human services about free or very low-cost "better marriage" seminars. These large group classes aren't the same as time with a one-one-one counselor, but it's better than nothing and may be enough to help you and your wife decide whether or not there's still a chance at healing the relationship. The county offers one (free) where I live. Any help from a trained, impartial professional would be helpful.

mimimimi

I agree with restrangled and Sylvia. Your wife is spoiled. When my kids were growing up, I did not work out of the home. My husband supported us. I never expected him to do any cleaning whatsoever. He took care of the yard and home repairs and I cleaned house and the grocery shopping, laundry, and cooking. As my sons got old enough, they took over the yard work.

You need to go for counseling. Truthfully, you and your wife need to go for marital counseling, but good luck on that one. Good little dubby will most likely not be willing to do that.

She is not showing respect for you. You do need to stand up for yourself. But I think you need to get counseling to get your mind sorted out as to what direction you want to go.

garyneal

Take a long walk and do some self reflecting when things get real tough.

Pray to God and give Him all of your troubles (last I recall, you haven't yet given up on Him).

Talk to people who you know and trust will be a good listener and not be judgemental.

I posted a thread here a few months ago when things got kind of heated between my wife and I. She demanded that I stop coming to this board. I got a slew of responses, many good, some not so good.

But in the end, none of it mattered. That's not to say that the advice I got wasn't helpful. It did made me realize that I needed to 'grow a pair' and I did.

However, what really helped me was the feeling that God began moving in my heart and that small voice deep inside me comforted me. Just as I have been comforted like that many times in the past when faced with a potential 'crisis.' Personally, I believe it is God moving in some mysterious way but hey, for all I know it could be my own way of validating myself, validating my existense as Zid suggested.

Trust in God and leave all of your cares to Him. If you want, PM me and maybe we can exchange phone numbers. Life is hard being married to a Jehovah's Witness and I still have hope that my marraige will make it somehow. I just don't know how.

sd-7's whining session 3-30-2010