I just want to say how much I hate the f***ing cult

by Confuzzled 36 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Confuzzled

  I posted here a few times some months back about my JW BF, and I'm glad I did because I was on the fence about the whole thing. I had to stop because the nature of his profession might have brought him here, and the details I had given it wouldn't have taken much to figure out who I was talking about. I still lurk though, daily.

  I HATE this. He's getting back into it, and all we do is fight. I hate that he does and says exactly what the script tells him. I hate that my rebel is turning into a mindless drone. I hate the fact that if I handed him documents w/the Watchtower blacked out, or the letterhead cut off, he would be the first to cry criminals. I hate the fact that a person that smart and independent feels the only way he can be a good person is through the rules and regulations of a publishing company. I hate the fact he refuses to see that God's Love is freely given, not something you have to earn. I scream at him, and tell him "one day, I pray you wake up, before it's too late. It's a cult."

  You will all tell me to cut and run, but circumstances have changed, and I will be involved w/him in some way, shape or form for the rest of my life (lets just leave it at that, details, you see). I just needed to vent, sorry. It's infuriating.
• 

  Heaven

  Confuzzled, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. No one can be their true selves in this organization.
• 

  Michelle365

  Oh no. Did you get pregnant? I'm sorry that your relationship is suffering this way and that he is choosing the cult over you. It's heartwrenching.
• 

  Mad Sweeney

  I have a DFd relative who every time I try to show him that it isn't "the truth" he tells me he's planning to go back. It's like banging one's head against the wall. He just got engaged to a "worldly" girl and is trying to bring her "in" with him. I keep telling him DON'T go back, but I don't think I'm getting through.

  Since you seem to be in a similar situation (except you're the girl, not the relative), here's my advice. Don't choose between freedom and this guy. MAKE HIM CHOOSE between a life of freedom with you and a life of slavery to the borg. Don't try to beat him doctrinally because his mind isn't ready for that. Show him that they use mind control and that he isn't himself when he's a Dub. Show him that you love HIM, not the Dub-Him.

  Good luck.
• 

  mindmelda

  He's probably scared because the world is a scary place, more now than some other times in history. That's been the human condition for as long as there have been humans. Sometimes, life gets very scary, and it seems like the universe and the planet hates us.

  But, running to people who promise paradise won't solve it. It just creates the illusion of security for as long as you believe the magicians are really pulling rabbits out of their hats.

  As long as you never look at the man behind the curtain, you can feel safe for a while. That sort of thing has also been going on since there were humans.

  I recommend anyone who thinks a certain religion will fix everything wrong with their lives to look at the Mayans. Their climate changed, as it periodically does, and they had gotten to that poing in civilization where they had food problems, social problems, political chicanery, all that stuff.

  The priests started sacrificing more and more victims to the gods to appease them, to bring back the former peace and prosperity. Of course, it didn't work. The created illusions to comfort the people, pretended to see gods, to trick the people into thinking they were seeing gods, and they started sacrificing their children, too.

  Didn't work. The rains still didn't come, the land changed, and their devotion to sacrificing enemies earned them more war and bloodshed. Sound familiar?

  We human have a tendency to keep doing the same things over and over, even when they never work. Religion is like that. When it stops becoming a personal and one to one experience with the universe and becomes a tool of control and politics and priests and clergy start selling you miracles and illusions and demanding more and more to appease the gods, you know your civilization is in deep shit.

  We're good at that, but it doesn't mean the gods are miserable, we are.

  I feel sorry for your BF, he's just looking for what everyone wants, but you can't find it with false prophets, false magicians and false priests. You find spirituality within or you just don't find it, and that's okay too. Just don't keep buying the BS.

  That's the worst kind of lie, a lie that kills your soul, eventually. The WTS is good at it, but so are a lot of other religions when they prosper off of people's fears and guilts. They're worse than most, but it's a problem with religion in general.
• 

  Confuzzled

  Thanks. It's dumfounding. I cannot believe that he is doing, and saying, exactly what everybody says he would. I jokingly asked him if they gave him a handbook on what to say and do, and then I remembered, yeah, they do. Hundreds. He is being trained by some of the best sales ppl in the world. I told him I have no doubt the ppl in the pews honestly believe they are doing God's Work, but look at the big picture. Wasted oxygen. I hate his cult identity. He thinks he either has to be 100% good, or 100% bad. But, he doesn't have to be 100% good yet because he isn't baptized. WTF? I can read all the books, quote all the statistics, make the paralells between JWs, FLDS, Children of God, and Scientology, but it's a waste of time. I've planted all the recommended "seedling" questions, but these "good people" have got their meat hooks in him. I asked him how long it will take before he limits contact w/me, before his Bible Study teacher tells him I am demonized, and a stumbling block, or a bad asssociation. How long will it be before they have Sister GoodChristian picked out for him to date. They know about me. He says they never will, but threatens to limit our contact when we really get into it, like hes done recently to somebody else (yeah, hypocrite, much?). He tells them everything I say. I say tell them I am a supporter of the vast Apostate Army. He wants me to talk to his Bible teacher, I tell him I refuse to talk to an indocrinated cult member, I cannot argue with him, he will be better at because HE IS TRAINED in debate, and has memorized answers, and could probably sell water to a drowneding man, and no matter what I say or present, you will believe him anyway. It's the hamster wheel effect. I know you all have heard this story before, it's almost laughable. Ever see the movie Groundhog Day? I read the posts here from other people in my suituation. I'm in for a world of hurt. I found myself actually thinking how long could I possibly live a lie just to avoid all this, but I can't. I've read to much, seen to much for myself, and he'd know I was lying.
• 

  ldrnomo

  It looks like your backed into a corner now. You will always have some kind of relationship with him because of a child. Of course if he get's totally involved again with the Witnesses he will want to raise the child with the Witness cult thinking so what do you do?

  My suggestion is get out of the relationship now, your not married and he will have to pay child support. He will want a relationship with your child but it will be on your terms if you are still unmarried. He will have to confess his sins to the elders and will possibly be disfellowshipped. You will be free of any JW influence and will be able to raise your child on your own terms.

  Tell him if he ever decides to TOTALLY LEAVE the Watchtower you may have a relationship with him again but until then, you want nothing to do with him or his religion.

  LD
• 

  Gayle

  Confuzzled, I hear and understand your anxiety. You will have challenges in your long term circumstance. It will not be easy but you can make it through with a lot of factual knowledge and support. You are definitely correct in recognizing JWs as a cult. You will have to recognize this JW like a "disabled" person, like dependency on drugs. To argue, is to have lost. Save your energy. You can not "fix" a JW. They only can fix themselves.

  Keep yourself and your real obligations in priority. There's a book "Combatting Mind Control" by Steve Hassan. This book will help you in future challenges on what you are dealing with. There are other books too. Please take care of yourself and other circumstance.
• 

  thetrueone

  Confuzzled, I would seriously think about leaving him, because this is only going to get worse over time.

  The WTS. has a way taking people's critical thinking skills void and useless, abandoning intellectual growth at the same time.

  He may have got the the power of god bug that some men flock to like bees to a flower, that can only make you as a woman

  vulnerable to oppression and control. Remember spiritual growth to some people is spiritual power.
• 

  VIII

  Welcome Confuzzled. I am very sorry for your situation.

  Being a born-in and having family still in the Cult, I understand. I just spoke with my Mom this morning and yesterday and I had to lay down yesterday and take a nap and just zone out. I wanted to bang my head on the wall after talking with her. Most of our conversation was JW related and why I won't go back and my fighting with her on why I won't. ERRRR, ARRRRGGGHHH.

  I sent her the Crisis of Conscience book and she read it and declared it Apostate and evil. (sigh). Trying to get those tentacles out of their heads is, as you are finding, almost impossible.

  Please keep reading here. Do not get involved with those mind bending Cultists. It seems easy to say "I won't get sucked in", yet, look at Katie Holmes and others who become Stepford Wives for their husbands, all in the name of *love*.