I just want to say how much I hate the f***ing cult (page 2)

nelly136

unless yo let him put a ring on your finger and complicate the paperwork you are free to do as you wish and theres probably very little he can do about it.

I did think,"Could I go through the motions? I don't really having a problem w/clean living (i.e, not smoking, not drinking, Bible study, ehh I can wear a skirt once a week). I just at being at the mercy of the elders, and being treated like I'm stupid and can't read or understand the Gospel for myself, the raped Bible they use, Franz being an utter fraud, harboring pedophiles, the GB getting handed $$ hand over fist, judging ppl, destroying ppl, ect. ect. (OK EVERYTHING that has been mentioned on this board&evry other Proud Apostate Website, and book) There would be ways around it. Could I do it, but keep my identity? As long as I know it's a lie, I'd be alright, right?"

I luckily have a family who would call me on my bullshit, and there iis always an opportunity for Stockholm Syndrome. Thats sad I actually thought that and sometimes still think that. I wonder if other people have just thrown up their hands and drank the Kool-Aid just to keep the peace (could you even drink the Kool-Aid, if your not annointed? 0_o Trying to be funny.)

Heaven

I can wear a skirt once a week

That's where I drew my line! Tee hee hee... kidding ... but... it goes towards the whole 'women are second class and to be subjugated' mentality that I couldn't go along with.

I wonder if other people have just thrown up their hands and drank the Kool-Aid just to keep the peace

Many have. Their lives are not easy.

VIII

Being female, being treated as a second class entity is pretty crappy. My Mom, being a fighter, was always fighting with the Elders. As a result, my sis and I were pariahs in the cong. So was my Mom. (Dad was DFd and they got divorced when I was a young teen).

Going door-to-door every Saturday and most Sunday afternoons, when you just need to clean your house, go to the mall, get your errands done, etc., starts to take it's toll. Also, when your husband starts to diss your opinions because he is programmed to do that because you are a woman and not to be listened to, well, it starts to get on your nerves.

Since you have been out in the world and understand that women are equal to men and shouldn't wear Burquas, get ready to basically put one on. It goes beyond wearing a dress three times a week to meetings and out in service.

Read about women *Being in Subjection*. Those are key words. For any woman who has gained equality in the work force or education and you walk into a KH and realize that a window washer or janitor is trying to tell you that you are basically dirt with the brain of a Cow (Watchtower from the 1960's) and not as smart, well, you realize that they are a bunch of misogynistic assholes.

And in a major Cult. That is key. Cults are hard to get out of.

dgp

Confuzzled, I am sorry to hear that your situation didn't improve. I'm one of the worldlies you talked to when you came to the board. I could have written like 90% of your post, including the fear that the witness in question might found out I have been posting here.

I asked myself the same questions you have asked yourself. I also went to the Kingdom Hall and tried to see whether I could go through the motions. No, like Blaise Pascal, "We're so made that we can't believe". Yes, we read too much (like here) and know too much to be in. It's good that you recognize so. It will break your heart, but it won't ruin your life.

In my personal case, the moment I knew I couldn't make it was when she said she would be with me IF ONLY I became a JW. Having read all the books and been to many boards, I know this means she would NOT be with me if I became a JW and were disfellowshipped, for example, which would happen like three minutes after baptism. It hurts a lot, but I know I can't make it.

If you should ever need a helping hand, you can send me a message.

garyneal

Confuzzled:

If I may be so bold as to ask, are you sure you want this kind of life for yourself and your kid?

Remember, this is the best that it gets when you are dating. Frankly, if my wife had been anything like she is now back in our dating months and our newlywed years she would be a page in history now. I walked out of a relationship with a woman who was pregnant with my son all because she was very demeaning to me and controlling. This, of course, strained the relationship I have with my son but I figured if this was the best it would get, why get married.

Things only get worse when you get married before they get any better. Then they never get as good as they were during the dating/honeymoon years.

So if this is the best you two have now? Why are you still with him?

Think long and hard about that.

OnTheWayOut

We can only offer advice, you have to make your decisions. I will tell you this: I was a full-believing member, many of us were.
My wife is still a full-believing member along with my mother and my wife's mother and sister. Despite the fact that it would be easy to just go along and be a quiet member, I just couldn't do that to myself. I have a hard enough time keeping my thoughts to myself to avoid arguments and marital problems over the cult, but that much I do.

My wife knows I am no longer a believer, yet we have a good relationship. But we don't have a child. Children complicate the matter. Maybe some with one spouse in the cult and children in the middle will comment.

For what it's worth, I understand you have feelings and attachments of various sorts. It's a tough road. I would recommend being yourself at all times. You never were one, nor do you have to pretend all of a sudden that you accept them. You may need to tone it down at times, not so much for your relationship but for any of those attachments. I would stick to my guns if any children were involved- they would get a normal childhood and very very very limited exposure to that cult. Some meetings- yes, I could let them go to a handful, but not too many. They would have birthdays and holidays and fun stuff at school and plan for college.

If I were never a JW, I would read all the good stuff in front of my spouse: COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL by Steve Hassan, CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE by Ray Franz (former Governing Body member), CAPTIVES OF A CONCEPT by Don Cameron.

Sooner or later, the "brothers" will insist that he marries you or breaks up with you. It has to be done to become a baptized member. I wish you luck when it happens. Strength to you.

Gayle

I wonder if other people have just thrown up their hands and drank the Kool-Aid just to keep the peace

In retrospect, I believe that's what my mother did. She didn't like the religion at all initially, many arguments with my Dad and Mom happened over it (I remember, was 8 yr old) Dad got baptized in '55. Then, later, I think, for sake of her marriage and peace, she submitted to a JW Bible study (which quickly becomes a JW literature study) and became a JW believer. Therefore, we 5 kids raised strictly in it, 4 out of 5 of us pioneered and later Bethelites. Mom died in 1970 due to cancer with earthly hope to soon be resurrected, 40 years ago. All of us kids have left JWs. Two of us are grandparents now. None of our children, 15 altogether, were ever baptized and are enjoying good, free lives and thinking.

thetrueone

It's always interesting to hear the words evil apostate when speaking the truth about this fraudulent religion that some ignorant

men developed for themselves and their desire for power .

Something to be aware of, the past leaders such as J. Rutherford were not a trained bible scholar at all, Rutherford was a professionally

trained lawyer that the WTS. had retained to look after the financial assets of the WTS.

He was a heaving drinking philanderer who lived a life of luxury in mansions and drove Cadillacs that only the very rich could afford,

at the same time told all the followers to live a life of poverty and serve the WTS.

In essence he was devious crook who exploited people but covered himself nevertheless with religious virtuosity.

This crook even told people to not get married and have children but rather keep working for the WTS.

If your boy friend can't see through this pretensions corruption there is something really wrong with him.

garyneal

thetrueone

I don't think any active witness can readily see the truth about da judge. The only go to their own publications and they whitewash their past.

Any information from the outside is viewed as evil.

I just want to say how much I hate the f***ing cult

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